


Against All Odds

by hrelics9



Series: When It's All Over-College AU [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, FFVII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Angeal/Sephiroth it's barely there though, Angst, Bottom Cloud, BottomZack, Collection Fic, College AU, Crossdressing?, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, INCASE ANYONE DOESN'T GET IT, LEGAL THINGS, LacrosseZack, M/M, MechanicCloud ish, Men in ladies panties, SISTER FIC TO ANOTHER FIC, SO MUCH SEX WITH PLOT, Sex, Sex Toys, TopCloud, VersatileCloud, VersatileZack, Will add tags later for second chapter, Zack has kinks, did i mention there's sex, for the kinks, mental health, powerbottom cloud, there's so much sex, top Zack
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:15:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 57,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26117851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hrelics9/pseuds/hrelics9
Summary: Zack doesn't know if he is going in the right direction. Not after the last two years and his past is racing to catch up to him. At least, he's got Cloud to help distract him.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Series: When It's All Over-College AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1896442
Comments: 56
Kudos: 213





	1. Summer is Not Supposed To Be This Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends! I've finally caved and wrote a second fic for my College AU. The first one is What's Luck Got To Do With It.  
> I won't say, you have to read that one first, but you'll be less confused. LOL Unless, you here for the sex, CAUSE INCASE YOU GUYS DIDN'T SEE THE TAGS. There's lots. XD  
> Anyway-  
> Happy Reading!

Zack learned early, he usually falls on the wrong side of good odds. 

Got bad luck following him all his life. 

It used to make him so angry. The unfairness. Spent days looping in his head why. Why did he live in a rough neighborhood, where if he left his shitty, beat-up bike out, it’d be gone in seconds. Why his parents didn’t have enough time for him, or enough food; some nights. 

After they died. The anger just got worse and the odds of him ever getting out to a better place, they looked dimmer. It nearly consumed him, that first month. Why they did it, why they chanced driving home after that party, too drunk to even walk in a straight line. He’d nearly gotten past the ache for their time and attention, just for all of it to come rushing back to him. 

They could have just stayed home with him. Instead of spending their one night off drinking into stupidity and pretending they weren’t one paycheck away from eviction.

The odds….from the amount of times Zack had seen his father so drunk he didn’t know who Zack was. Got in a car and came back home just fine. A lot. All his childhood, nearly every weekend. 

Just unfair then, this time, when it was both of them in the car, the odds finally caught up to them. 

Zack would say it was a turning point. The high end of all his bad luck crashing together and pouring down over him. But even then, it’d been hard to see through the rain. Somewhere in the universe, something must have changed for him and his stupid odds. 

The one good one, all his life, Angeal. 

He lived down the street, on the half of the neighborhood with shitty old houses, rather than the shitty apartments. Looked out for all the kids, even the rough ones. The ones that had it even worse than Zack. That fell right into all the traps of crime and gang running. 

Angeal had just started college when Zack’s parents took out a few cars and an unfortunate street light. Took him in, he’d always had a soft spot for Zack. Reminded him of himself, he guesses. They grew up pretty similar, in the same area. 

Angeal was just smart enough to get out. Stuck himself in law school from all the top grades he got, nearly a full ride without a penny spent. Zack wasn’t like that. Too scattered and too much energy to focus right. Was barely passing when he numbly moved in with Angeal, only a few pieces of clothing from his parents.

Everything else...well. He’s gotten rid of. He was so mad at them. For leaving him behind. 

Now….now he wishes he hadn’t been so quick to act on his anger. Got nothing left of them except that stupid hoodie. They weren’t perfect parents, he’d say they weren’t even good ones. But they loved him, tried where it counted. 

Still, somewhere down the line, Angeal’s voice started to replace their's in his memories. He’s been more than great to him. More than Zack probably deserves and he’s still never gotten it out of him. Why Angeal took him in. Without him, Zack had no doubt, he’d be running on the streets, roughing it with even worse odds and violence. Instead, he got a nicer home to finish high school in, as much food as he wanted, things, just cause. 

And patience. Angeal was always so patient with him, through his temper and his rebellion against all the unfairness he’d only known. Protected him, when he started running with the wrong kids for a few months and was slapped so hard with a misdemeanor. 

That had been it though. The only time Zack had seen Angeal mad. Like, truly, really mad. Scared him enough to straighten back up, even if there was some lasting damage from his poor choices. It was enough to kick Zack into waking up past his anger and his wallowing. 

Angeal got out. And he chose Zack, to give the same chance too. His odds then, with just a bit of help, were better then they had ever been. 

He’s lucky in that sense, that he was smart enough to wake up. All he had to do was accept the help, and life started to balance out for him. It was hard. He’d done enough stupid things to have his past follow him around, even now, springing up randomly to try and drag him back to that life. 

But he’s got choices now, good ones, changing the odds of his universe. 

One of them, he’s lucky enough to still have hovering around him. He’s shifting next to him in his bed, curled under the soft sheets. Breathing out the softest noises and arching into a waking stretch. 

Zack smiles, sits up some more, and ignores the chill wrapping around his skin as the sheets fall into his lap. He’s been thinking too deeply this morning, the end of the school year always does that to him. Without all the hustle and bustle, sets a weird mood for him to fall into easily. First time this year though, he’s been getting better, keeping from lingering in his past. Angeal’s told him over and over, it does no good to linger in it. Even if it does come back to visit, it’s not who he is anymore. 

It shouldn’t keep him from enjoying what he’s done for himself, from enjoying what he’s got.

And what he’s got is a set of pretty blue eyes rousing from sleep. Humming out the sweetest moans and fluttering his long blonde lashes at him. 

Zack’s been watching Cloud sleep for nearly an hour now. Leaning against his massive piles of pillows and chancing waking him to brush against his cheek with the back of his knuckles. Being so close to him, he can see the faded from winter freckles on his nose and the sweep of every single lash. The smallest of furrow lines starting to take place around Cloud’s left brow. Makes him chuckle when he stares at it too long. Too much frowning. He’ll get a permanent wrinkle there when he ages faster.

“Hey,” Cloud’s voice rolls out low and sleep slurred, still blinking away some of his drowsiness. 

“Morning,” Zack smiles even wider at him. He just looks so good, sleeping next to him. Zack wants him in his bed all the time. 

It’s the first night he’s slept over for weeks. Year-end finals rushing at them and taking all their energy. Zack had hardly any time to just glance at Cloud, let alone spend a night pressed against him. This last term had them under piles of books and papers and slowly dying laptops, right from the start. Only the relief from week-long testing done gave him time to finally get Cloud all to himself again. 

Sadly, just for one night too. 

“You just watching me sleep?” Cloud lazily pushes up onto his forearms, “weirdo.”

Zack laughs softly. He can’t help it. He’s got to take in Cloud all he can. Now that the year is over.

“Well, if someone wasn’t _leaving_ me. I gotta get all I can,” he teases him. 

Going back to Nibelheim. Cloud had mentioned it more and more as the school year started to end. Tifa too, eyeing Zack every time he pouted at Cloud when he was away too long. She kept teasing him, ‘what are you going to do when he’s gone for the summer?’

It hadn’t really sunk in for Zack. Until...well right now. 

Cloud’s heading back to Nibelheim tonight, after the heat dies down a little. All his stuff is already packed away back at his place. He doesn’t see why he can’t just stay here. Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge don’t go back home. They lease their apartment year-round and throw banging summer parties with the students that stay around ShinRa University. 

And if Cloud didn’t want to deal with that….he could stay here, with Zack. In his roomy leased apartment that Angeal insisted he stay in. God, Zack wants that. They could fuck every morning, spend the day being lazy, and cook easy meals. 

Ugh. 

Zack can’t stop the pout he shoots down at Cloud. Just gets eye-rolled at. No pity here. Cloud’s so mean to him. 

“It’s just for the summer,” he says, nonchalant, like those aren’t the hardest words for Zack to hear right now. 

It’s alarming how much he really _really_ doesn’t want Cloud to leave.

He’s also...a little scared to ask him to stay. Moving too fast. He’s only been with Cloud for just over half a year. And everyone’s told him that in the past. He’s too fast. Too eager. Aerith was the only one who went right along with it. Rushed right into everything with him. It was what ended them in the end. She thought it was just fun, Zack had fallen too hard. At least it didn’t end badly. Just...kinda was awkward for a while. 

Zack pulls out the sad puppy eyes and whines just a tiny bit at him.

Another eye roll. But it’s accompanied by an amused smile, one that Cloud tries to hide. He pushes himself up, slides over, and throws a leg over Zack’s lap. Straddles him under the silky sheet still hanging onto their waists. Drops his arms on Zack’s shoulders and links his hands together, sliding in Zack’s hair. 

He leans in close, brushes their lips together, and says, “I’ll make it up to you?” all breathy and lusty eyed. 

Follows his promise with a wet kiss and a slow sticking pull. It leaves Zack needing more. He swallows thickly, hands going to Cloud’s waist, and traces them up and down his sides. Pressing to touch every muscle under his pale skin, feel the warmth from his body. Memorize every dip and ridge cause Zack doesn’t want to forget what he feels like under his touch. 

Two and a half months. Without Cloud. 

“Starting now? You haven’t even left yet. You’ll owe me more later,” Zack mumbles against his lips, guiding Cloud’s hips down to sit more in his lap. 

Zack’s already moving his hands, caressing over the swell of Cloud’s ass, cupping under him and rocking his hips up, so his quickly hardening cock can slide along his soft skin. Cloud’s still gotta be slick, after the night they had. Fast touches and faster fucking, into the late hours. 

“I’m okay w-with that,” Cloud stutters through Zack spreading his ass cheeks and pressing a finger against his pucker, checking for slick. There’s still a lot, come and lube mixing. Zack tests how easy it is to slide inside him, gently probing with his ring finger. 

Cloud’s humming all happy and content at him again, body tensing and digging his hands a little harder into Zack’s hair. His hums turn into a soft moan and he rocks down and back, looking for more friction from Zack’s fingers. 

The flush rising in his skin is so fucking sweet and the glossy eyes Cloud is giving him makes his heart ache with fondness. The way he bites into his bottom lip, as Zack’s sliding in another finger. The quiet gasp and gentle smile as Zack skims over the bundle of nerves inside him. 

All of it, from the little hip circles and tightening of his grip in his hair. Zack can’t get enough. 

He’s slicked real good. Zack slips in another finger, pumps in and out of Cloud, sliding up along his ass crack to tease the sensitive skin before shoving them back in. Strokes long and slow with the tips of his fingers. Repeats his teasing touches until Cloud’s rocking up with his hips, faster and wider rolls, so needy and fucking _obscene_. Zack can’t take it, aching hard just watching the motion of his body and his eyes fluttering closed in pleasure.

He grips the base of his cock and steadies Cloud’s rocking so he can line up with his entrance. He pushes gently, wanting to savor the slow heat enveloping him, and mindful of Cloud’s expression. He’s still pretty new at sex and Zack’s never fucked him this way. Harder to take, the body doesn’t relax as easy. He should roll them, tuck Cloud under his body so it’s less of a strain. 

Cloud’s twitching around him, already squeezing him and shoving his hips back to get Zack inside him faster. 

“Ah- _fuck_ , easy,” Zack hisses a laugh through his teeth. Cute, it’s so cute, Cloud’s sudden demand to get Zack inside him. He still likes to prep Cloud well. He's big and Cloud rushes sometimes and overstrains himself. After last night, Zack should let him rest, but he's just so eager, sinking down over him and biting harder into his lip. Zack rolls up, hitting deep, testing how sensitive Cloud still is. 

"Hh-ahh," nearly all a gasp, a body tremble and his bitten lip freeing with his widening eyes.

Pretty tender then. Zack really should pull out. Get him off with his fingers instead, not so invasive. Zack had only noticed it, maybe a month or two in, Cloud won't tell him to back off. Stop him before they start sure, but if they are right in the middle, he'll push through if he's too sore. 

They had fought about it...a lot. Cloud going quiet and shrinking into his shoulders. Zack hadn't meant to get so mad, but he can't handle hurting him and he’s always got a small fear. That he’s pushing Cloud for too much. 

Too fast. Heard it all before. 

Cloud’s tugging at his hair, sinks down hard and throws his weight back onto Zack’s thighs. 

“I’m good, Zack,” Slides his hips in tiny, fast jerks against his thighs, keeping Zack in deep. Leans forward with only the slightest wince and _fucking_ bites his ear lobe. That’s just not fair, teasing him way too much. The ear thing, it always gets him. 

Zack just knows Aerith told Cloud about it. 

He gasps, pulling himself closer to Cloud and wrapping his arms around him. Rocks slowly up, meeting Cloud's more aggressive hip rolls. He is squeezing around Zack, times his movement with nips at his ear. Knows just how to get Zack going, pushing him more into lust. Fuck if that's not one amazing thing about Cloud. He's a fast learner. 

Cloud's tracing his outer ear with his tongue, moaning louder and rocking with more aggression. Bites at his cartilage again and Zack _can't_. It flips a switch in him. A need. 

He swiftly rolls them, staying deep inside Cloud, and shoving him down into the pile of pillows. Hikes his ass up, his legs falling open and stretching up. Keeping him open and perfect for Zack to rut inside. The keening noise Cloud makes spurs Zack into a rougher rocking, loud in his ear, and grasping at Zack’s shoulders in desperation. He's close. Dripping precome between them. 

Zack has got to get in deeper, stay in the heat. Feels amazing, Cloud gets tighter every time he pounds into him. Squeezes around him so much he can’t be doing it consciously. 

His rhythm goes wild, slamming hard and fast into Cloud, rocking his whole body with such force, the bed is shifting under them, and keeps hitting the wall. 

Cloud arches, a shaking ripples down his body, and _fuck_ -

Zack slams inside him a few more times, their bodies slipping from the friction, fast and needy and he feels Cloud shake apart between them. His come hot and splashing over their torsos. 

Inside him, it's too much. Too hot and slick and tight and Zack is coming seconds after him; shoved inside as far as he can. They freeze together, bodies straining and gasping. Relax all at once and Zack already knows Cloud is stuck in a pleasure fog. He stays against him, enjoying his gasping breaths and his warmth until he slips out. 

Cloud looks...a mess. His come all over his stomach, thighs slick with lube, and Zack’s come from before. His fresh load, dripping out of him. The sight is almost enough to get Zack hard again. 

Zack can't tear his eyes from the heaving of Cloud’s chest, "You think I'm going to let you go all summer?" Zack teases him but of course, he will. Doesn’t matter how much he wants to keep Cloud to himself.

He’s trying something new. Trying to be less...needy. (As Aerith had put it.)

Cloud laughs for him, biting at his lip with a smile. He’s completely fucked out and lax, dopey, like Zack usually gets. Just causes another ache of fondness, that Zack can make him feel so good. He hovers over him, Cloud’s legs resting on his thighs, for a while longer. Watches his afterglow fade and then his eyes get that shy glint in them. Adverts his gaze when it’s clear Zack’s not going to stop staring at him. 

It’s okay, they’ve got to shower anyway and Zack wants to make Cloud breakfast. 

Takes a while longer for Cloud to get some strength back in his legs. Leaves Zack oddly proud and they start a shower together. 

Zack’s leaving him to finish washing up quickly, if he stays in with him, they won’t be getting out soon and Zack’s getting pretty good at guessing Cloud’s limits. Has to be, if he’s going to be a brat and refuse to let Zack know when he’s overwhelming. 

It’s not too late in the morning, he can still make the leftover bacon he’s got. Scrambles up some eggs and mixes them in freshly hashed potatoes. The coffee is near done when a soft touch slides along his sides, arms wrapping around his middle and Cloud’s pushing his face into his back. 

He reverts into shyness sometimes, after sex. Likes to hide in Zack’s body and stay quiet. He’d taken it as he’d done something wrong, the first few times. But, Zack would catch the soft smile and the lingering blush, every so often. 

Cloud stays pressed against his back and squeezes around his waist until breakfast is done and Zack shifts them to sink down onto the couch and lean against each other as they eat in comfortable silence. 

The rest of the day goes by too fast. 

It’s suddenly late afternoon and Tifa is honking her pickup’s horn outside. It sours Zack’s mood instantly and he gets a weird itchy panicky feeling. Keeps it to himself. He doesn’t want to scare Cloud away and he’s all set faced and hard to read. 

Closes up even more as they go outside and sees the massive truck sitting ready to jump into and leave. 

“All set?” Tifa leans over the front driver’s seat, unlocks the door and shoves it open a bit, “gotta get a move on to get home by dark.”

Home. 

That used to be Gongaga for him, but...watching Cloud yank himself up into the dark truck, he feels his home is getting farther away. 

Oh man. He’s got it real bad. Shit. 

Cloud looks to him, leaning out the window, his hair rustling in the evening breeze. Zack swallows his random nerves and steps up to lean on Cloud’s door. He’s taller than him, sitting in the truck, but Zack’s height makes it easy for Cloud to gently lean out and press his lips against his own. 

A small, sweet goodbye. 

Zack smiles for him, watches them pull out of the shared driveway, and turn the corner. 

He feels cold in the wind. Goes inside and it doesn’t go away. 

***

“Ugh,” 

He knows okay. He’s being whiny. 

“Ughhhh,”

He’s just bored. Aerith hasn’t texted him back, Jessie’s taken Biggs and Wedge out downtown and….he hasn’t texted Cloud.

In two weeks. 

He feels clingy and invasive. It’s been a whole month already and he’s been a mopey sad mess the whole time. Even his lacrosse teammates are weirded out. The few that stay in the city over break, they sent him back from their summer ‘practice’ cause he’s ‘not focusing.’ 

So much for going slow. He just has to keep it chill around Cloud. If he ever manages to get over himself and _fucking_ text him. 

“Ughhhhhh-”

“-Zackary,” oh shit...he sounds, well not annoyed, just his normal soft flat voice. Zack still can’t tell with Sephiroth. Even after years of knowing him. 

“Sorry,” Zack mumbles, pouts, and sinks down into the fluffiest spot on the couch and stares up at the ceiling.

Okay, _now_ , he should just text Cloud right now.

Did he do it?

Nope, his phone is still offensively sitting on the coffee table, _way_ over by the other side of the couch. 

“UGH,” Sephiroth’s sigh follows Zack’s outburst. 

He really should get up, maybe go for a walk. Annoying Sephiroth will do nothing but cause him pain later. Something else he hasn’t learned either. 

“What’s the matter, pup?” Angeal asks him, walking down the spiral staircase. 

Angeal and Seph always come and stay with him at the apartment for a few weeks in summer. They know he gets lonely and his friends get busy with...things he’s not allowed to go do yet. Just another reason the active school year is better, he’s got more freedom. Plus...Cloud would still be here. 

Ugh, he manages to keep it in this time. Angeal’s bulky form falls over him anyway, hands on his hips, and trying not to look amused by Zack’s less than stellar actions. It’s not his fault, Angeal just makes him revert back to teen-ish.

“I’m bored,” he whines, throws an arm over his eyes to block out Angeal’s face.

He already knows, disappointment. It’ll be there. Zack really shouldn’t complain, he’s lucky, after everything that happened the year before. Angeal certainly takes any opportunity to remind him, he got off easy.

Real easy. 

The couch dips by his shins and Angeal’s warm hand pats his knee.

“Just a few more months, maybe less. I got you a court date, see if the judge will lighten your punishment. You’ve been good.” 

Right, ‘good’. He didn’t even…

Zack huffs, peeks out at Angeal from under his arm, bracing for the disappointment in his eyes. It’s not there, just a soft amused smile and the smallest glint of pity for him. 

“A hearing?” Zack asks, sits up and pulls his knees in. 

Angeal’s dressed in his normal fitted button-up and slacks, always ready to run off and do...lawyer things. Zack never really paid too much attention to what he does, just knows that every time Zack’s been in trouble, he’s showing up with a stern face and his tie slightly off-center.

“Not that intense, just you, me, and the judge. I got them to revisit some details that...were ‘left out’ the first time around.”

He won’t hold his breath. The odds are against him, probably those details paint him in a worse light. He sighs, rests his chin on his knee, and gives Angeal his best puppy eyes. 

“Thanks, Angeal. Sorry, this is still distracting you.” From his actual work. 

His eyes go softer, reaches out and ruffles Zack’s hair like he did when he was a teen. It doesn’t fluff up like it did when it was short, but Angeal gets some weird satisfaction from it. 

“Don’t be dumb. If I could go back and get you free of charges completely I would. I know where your heart is.”

Yeah, got him in this mess in the first place. His chest aches and he misses Cloud even more now. Misses going out with his friends, misses just being able to leave the campus. But that was the deal. 

No license, no going anywhere farther than a few miles off-campus. At least the community service was finally done and over. If he had to go pick up after strangers in the park just outside the University for one more weekend, he was going to scream. Angeal had told him to just suck it up when he came back with the arrangement. Said because of his record from his teen years, the judge had wanted to be a lot harsher on him. 

Almost had jail time. A little overkill, but Zack knows how aggressive the city can be. Angeal had talked the judge out of it. Got slapped with a heavy fine too. Probably just for spite. 

He feels a wash of shame, Angeal’s spent so much time making sure he still got to stay at the University and to lessen his punishment. 

And here he’s just whining at nothing when he comes to keep him company. 

He pushes his palms into his eyes. 

Angeal huffs laughter at him, “Next Friday, okay?” 

He nods.

His phone beeps and buzzes along the coffee table. Finally, Aerith usually texts him back right away and she’s such a homebody, he’s surprised she’s taken this long. 

Lunging for his phone, he settles back onto the couch, stretching out and laying on his stomach across the length, now that Angeal has gotten up and turned his attention to Sephiroth at the kitchen table, surrounded by all his books. 

It’s not Aerith though. His heart skips. 

Cloud: _Hi._

And then starts racing. Shoves a whole lot of joy throughout his body and he can’t stop the giddy smile spreading across his face. He clicks on the thread and mistypes ‘hey’ three times in his excitement. 

Zack: _Hey!_

He types out ‘I miss you’ twice before scrapping it. Seems too much. Zack’s not even sure what they are. He was so positive with Aerith and it turned out she just thought he was fun to fool around with. He’d walked around half that year thinking ‘girlfriend!’ in his head when he saw her. He knows Cloud is a different person, but he doesn’t want to make that same mistake with him. 

Even though, if he’s really honest, he already has. Fucking gushing about him in the middle of the night. Staring at his stupid little frowning face picture in his contacts. 

Zack: _Keeping busy out in the middle of nowhere?_

He asks instead. Cloud’s still pretty quiet, Zack thought it was his shy nature, but the longer he’s with him, it’s just how he is. Doesn’t like to talk too much. The whole coma thing too, just makes it worse for him, stuck in his head.

God, Zack still feels a distant wave of embarrassment from Halloween. Cloud was nice enough to forgive him easily, but he’s still never felt more of an asshole then that night. Assuming and fighting with him, when he’d been in a fucking coma. 

It pushes him to re-type his skipped text, before Cloud can answer back.

Zack: _I miss you._

He watches the little dots linger at the bottom of his screen and then his phone buzzes and Tifa’s name pops up.

Tifa: _What did you say to Cloud?_

Oh no. He scared him off? Shit, or made him feel uncomfortable? 

A picture pops up in Tifa’s thread. It’s not the best, obviously hidden from behind a table, low, but it’s Cloud. He’s curled up in a large chair in a dimmer room that Zack is guessing is Tifa’s home. Zack’s heart thuds, he looks so soft, curled up in sweats and his hair messier than normal. A little, pleased smile on his face as he stares down at his phone.

Tifa: _I’m assuming it’s you texting him. He hasn’t smiled in weeks. What the hell did you tell him?_

His heart thuds again and starts aching for Cloud. The burst of dread is dissipating and Zack’s fear seems silly now. Cloud’s never indicated that he’s rushing things. Sticks around so much, he might as well just move in with him once the school year starts again. 

It’s stupid, what a little distance can make him feel. 

His phone buzzes again.

Cloud: _Miss you too…._

He laughs, he can just see the blush and the reluctant admission and looking at the floor. He’s pleased too though. Knows he’s got a dopey smile on his face, staring down at his phone.

“Woah, there’s a look I haven’t seen in a while,” Angeal teases him from the kitchen. 

Zack jumps a little and suddenly feels like it’s hours later, even though hardly any time has passed. 

“Shut up,” he rolls his eyes, but his happiness can’t stop seeping out in his tone.

“O-kay, pup, who’s the girl?”

It’s a good thing it takes a lot for his tanned skin to flush, he can feel heat seeping into his face, but doubts Angeal and Sephiroth can tell.

“Ugh, no one,” he flops back down, sinks lower in the couch seat, and faces the tv so Angeal can’t see his face.

“Huh-uh,” Sephiroth says, he’s stabbing a paper with a pen in the same spot. Must be working on his research and not student work, “it’s that blonde, the short one from my 101 mathematical, isn’t it?”

How the hell does he know that? He’d only stopped by to ‘pick up’ Cloud a few times. There’s no way Seph noticed him lingering out in the hallway. He’s not _that_ detail-oriented. 

“I dunno what you’re talkin’ about,” Zack says, stubbornly sinks even lower and tries to will Sephiroth and Angeal out of the apartment. 

Yeah right, it’s only the first week they’ve been over and Angeal insists on staying for at least a whole month. Even though he and Sephiroth would be happier with their own space back at the house. Zack’s just being bratty anyway. He loves it when they stay with him. He gets attached to people too easily and he’s been extra lonely the past two summers...since the stupid ‘incident’ he hates thinking about still. 

Whatever, they can tease him all they want.

He doesn’t care. 

Cloud misses him back. 

***

He’s not that disappointed. Even if Angeal keeps giving him pity eyes and pats his shoulder one too many times at every red light they stop at. Really, it’s fine. He wasn’t expecting any lenience at all. 

A bubble of excitement bursts in his stomach. 

He can _go_ places again. 

Freedom.

Where ever he wants, not just a few miles within ShinRa campus range. He smiles stupidly out the window, watches as trees fly by and cars falling behind them, passing up and merging. It’s blistering hot out, he can see it rising in heat waves off the dark roads, but it might as well be a perfect day. 

He is a little sad, he still doesn’t get his license back. Still can’t drive his beat-up wrangler sitting in the back of the parking lot of his building. But, he only has a few more months left anyway. He’s gone this long without it, he can wait just a bit longer. 

The restrictions lifted on his movements is a bigger relief. He won’t be as lonely. And as much as he loves Angeal and Sephiroth, they are his family after all, he misses going out with Jessie, Wedge, and Biggs. Hell, he’ll even go with Aerith to her boring botany gatherings way outside of the city. 

“I’m sorry, Zack,” Angeal says for the tenth time, eyes tight on the road, “I know you miss driving your Jeep.”

“Well yeah, but...man, Angeal, are you kidding me. You got me my freedom back.”

Angeal laughs, “Don’t go too crazy, you’re still on probation.”

He shoots him a wide grin, “drop me off at Jessie’s?”

“Sure.”

He vibrates with excitement the rest of the drive back to campus. Nearly trips on his seatbelt on the way out of the car. Waves Angeal off and shoots Sephiroth a text, telling him he’ll be out late. 

Sephiroth: _Congrats, don’t get into trouble._

He can feel the glare coming through his screen. Laughs it off like he usually does with Sephiroth and bounds up the stairs to Jessie’s door. It gives him a small wave of longing, knowing Cloud’s pretty face won’t be greeting him behind the door this time. 

Jessie’s throwing the door open before he even reaches the top step, arms wide and screaming one long ‘AH’ at him with a huge grin. 

He just saw her a few days ago, but it’s all different now, without restrictions. Feels like he hasn’t seen her in months. He rushes the last two steps and mimics her, teasing and scoops her up into a massive, off the floor hug.

“Oh my god, I’m so excited,” she yells in his ear, pushing her grinning face against his and squeezing him back just as hard, “you’re coming with us tonight right?” 

He sets her down, giddy and warm and shit, he really does have great friends. He hadn’t noticed how much of a slump he was really falling into. 

“Hell yeah, the usual?”

She shakes her head, sways back onto her heels with an eye roll, “Ugh I wish. Wedge wants to try this new bar, it’s kinda like a pizza place, you know,” she makes a face, “with weird fancy pizza.”

He laughs, even if it ends up terrible, he’ll still love it. Freedom, the choice to go someplace shitty. Awesome. 

“I heard their cider is awesome though,” Jessie waves him in, the blasting air conditioning swallowing him up as she closes the door. It feels great, coming in from the few minutes of heat. 

“Does that make up for pizza with arugula on it?”

She snorts, “No...ugh. Guys! Zack’s here and he’s free~” She sing-songs into the apartment. 

Wedge and Biggs are just as ecstatic as Jessie, knocking him around and pulling him in for tight hugs. It’s awesome. He spends the few hours until evening there, shouting just as loud as the rest of them, long laughs and his face hurts from smiling so much, _already._

Aerith comes poking her head in an hour before they head out. Small smiles and slips down onto the arm of the couch next to him as Jessie is rushing about the apartment, nagging Biggs that he ‘can’t go out like this, don’t be a slob.’

“Hey,” She says to him, knowing smile and soft. He used to melt for that tone, for her eyes, “heard you got unbanned from life.”

He laughs, “from all the screaming or Jessie text you?”

“The screaming, duh.”

He doubts she’s actually kidding, despite her laugh. She’s only two doors down. 

“You coming with us?”

“Mm, yeah I heard there’s pizza with arugula.”

His laugh gets louder and deeper. The irony, she actually sounds like she wants that. 

They all pile into Bigg’s old forester, Jessie teasing how uncool they look for half the drive. He’s got the only car that can fit all five of them. Jessie doesn’t own one and Wedge’s is too broken to trust for a longer trip downtown. Aerith refuses to let one into her little Sedan and even if Zack was allowed to drive his wrangler. It’s a two-door, no way is he taking everyone downtown sitting on the trunk and hanging onto the roll bars. That’s for the country only. 

He doesn’t mind being smashed against the side window, Wedge pressed against his side, and Aerith playfully leaning into all of them on sharper turns. Even the ones going towards her. Stupid little car games they’ve all done as kids, they bust out every single one of them. Probably for him, but it’s still nice, that everyone is overly happy and excited. 

He kind of forgot, how awesome they really are. 

The bar is way on the other side of the city. And Friday night means large crowds, so the drive is longer than normal. Zack loves it. He loves seeing all the lights turn on against the dimming sky, the places he’s familiar still the same, even after the year and a half long ban. 

Shit, if only Cloud were with him, he’d be near happy tears. 

It’s mega crowded at the bar, but they snag the last booth table, sacrificing personal space for a place to sit. Aerith slides in next to him, Jessie on her other side so Wedge and Biggs can fit across from them. 

She wiggles against him and smiles sweetly, “O-kay now. This is your first night out, in what, a year?”

Longer.

“Yeah,” Jessie pipes up, leans on the table to look at Zack with a mock glare, “I know you miss little blondie, but NO gross coupley texting, at least for the first few hours.”

He laughs, knows they just want to have his attention now that he’s allowed out into the world. He can do that. Cloud’s not big on texting conversations. Usually is short and quickly tapers off into silence. He hasn’t heard from him all day anyway. Respecting boundaries, that’s just another he’s trying to get better at. 

They all put their phones on the table, screen side up. Zack forgot that they did this. So they can get in some good quality friend time. First one to touch their phone has to pay for two rounds of drinks. Back when he and Aerith started fooling around, they texted so often, Jessie had made it the entire fucking meal. He spent way too much money that first year. 

The place is nice and dim, cool air offering relief from the heat lingering in the night. It’s loud, but their booth is high and cuts out some of the sounds, even from the sports section in the bar adjacent from them. 

Wedge orders two pizzas and two pitchers of a dark brew, even with Aerith scrunching her nose up at the beer and asks for a menu of their wines. Their waitress laughs a little, but comes back with a recommendation for her. Jessie keeps ordering double of her ciders, making Zack be the tasting dummy. 

That hasn’t changed either. Jessie’s got picky tastes with her drinks, so she’d always make Zack try it first. Looks like tonight she’s also trying to get him drunk.

“Come on,” she says, already has a flush from the alcohol, “at least a little tipsy. You’re with us, see Wedge is even going sober for us.”

Guess that means those two pitchers of beer are for him and Biggs to finish. Shit. It creates a nice, warm feeling in his stomach, that things haven’t changed much. They still do their routines. Still know how Zack fits in the group. Getting misty-eyed from it. He laughs it off and downs the second cider Jessie shoves at him. 

The pizza does have fucking arugula on it and Aerith is just beside herself, humming happily next to him with her weird pizza and white wine. It’s a bit of a contrast in the rowdy bar and all the rougher looking groups. 

It’s near midnight when his phone is the first to light up. Cloud’s name flashes at the top. Zack’s on the far side of just a little too tipsy, so he doesn’t catch what the message says. It’s short though. His hand still twitches to reach for it. 

“AW,” Jessie yells, half slurring already. He’s not worried though, she always plays up how intoxicated she is, “you lose!”

“I didn’t touch it,” He laughs at her, his whole body warm from the cider and beer. He still wants to check though. His tipsiness is making him miss Cloud _so_ much.

Like, he’s going to start gushing about him any second-much. 

And then his phone lights up with Cloud’s face and the jiggling little green phone.

Oh man, Cloud’s _calling_ him. They haven’t talked on the phone at all, just texting. He doesn’t care, he’ll buy every order they’ve made. He’s touching his phone. 

His thumb slides wrong twice before he connects the call, “He-y,” he slurs into the phone.

“Boo,” Jessie and Wedge tease him, and Aerith knocks into his side a little harder, and then “Hi, Cloud!” a chorus shouts, covering up Cloud’s tiny ‘hello’. 

“...are you out?” Cloud’s voice sounds a little different. Zack can’t tell if it's the distance between them or the alcohol. 

“Yeah, I got my freedom back,” he says a little too loudly. 

“W-what...freedom?” Cloud stutters into his ear. Zack thinks he hears a weird uptick at the end. 

Shit, he forgot. He’s never told Cloud about...all the fucking drama from the year before. He’s never had a reason. They’ve always stayed around campus and Zack hates talking about it. The pettiness and stupidity. 

It’s not like it affects Cloud anyway….not really. Damn, he feels a strong wave of...something. Shame? More like guilt. Cloud’s been so open about his terrible secrets. 

“Cloud!” Jessie’s leaning over Aerith’s lap and shouts into Zack’s phone as best she can, “don’t worry, we’re keeping the girls away from him.”

Oh my god, no, not this game. He laughs anyway and shoves Jessie back, bumping Aerith’s arm a little too hard. He gets glared at. 

“Sorry,” Zack says, turning a bit to hunch down so he can block out the chaotic bar noise, “just a bar on the other side of town. Wedge wanted to try the pizza.” 

“A...a...bar….” Zack frowns, Cloud’s breathing kind of heavy. 

“Hey- what, are you okay?” Zack asks him, stumbling a bit on his words. All the drinks are crashing all at once on his system. 

“...sorry...I didn’t mean to bother you.”

Bother him? Wait, something is not right. He sounds so weird. 

“You’re not bothering me,” he slurs, but he doesn’t think it sounds right.

“Sorry…” Cloud’s voice is so quiet and breathy. 

A click rings in Zack’s ear. He hung up on him. 

Of course, that’s when his slowed up brain catches up to the present. With a jostle at his side and Biggs’s loud bark of laughter.

Cloud wasn’t all breathy. He was...holding in gasps. He was _crying._

Fuck. 

“Igottago,” he knows he slurred this time. Pulls his foot up onto the booth so he can climb over Aerith and Jessie. 

He’s not waiting for them to move. He’s gotta call Cloud back right now. Fuck, he feels like a lousy boyfriend. Some alcohol in him and he can’t even tell when Cloud is upset. Damnit...and he _called_ him. 

“Hey, ow, Zack,” Jessie reaches out for his arm as he steadies himself on the floor. Woah, it is a little rocky in his vision, “where are you going?”

“Calling Cloud, I’ll be right back,” 

They call after him, but he ignores them. Pushes his way past rushing waiters and waitresses, around large groups waiting for a table and out into the still muggy, hot air. There’s outside seating that is still too loud to be around, so he goes out to the parking lot. It’s small and packed, but no one is hanging out in their cars. 

He’s dialing Cloud back as he reaches Bigg’s forester. Climbs up on the long front hood and puts his feet up on the bumper. Jiggles his knee up and down with nerves. The call is going on for too long. Cloud’s not answering him. 

Fuck. 

His phone buzzes just as he disconnects the call.

Cloud: _Go have fun. We can talk later._

No. No way, he was _crying_. It just makes him feel like shit, that he’s getting plastered and laughing his voice sore while Cloud’s upset and still being so fucking sweet. 

Zack: _No, I wanna talkto yuo._

Opps, he didn’t even notice the typoes. He tries to blink away some of the swaying in front of him. Works only a little. 

He doesn’t wait for an answer, just calls him again. Bites at his lip and stares at a group of girls laughing across the way. They are all falling into each other, coming from the bar. He snorts. 

“...hi…” Cloud’s voice is still so quiet, but he doesn’t sound as breathy. 

“Hey, sorry, everyone’s a little tipsy,” Zack says first. He is kind of sorry. Cloud gets overwhelmed easily, must have been jarring to hear all the shouting. Especially when he doesn’t expect it.

Zack’s been a fucking homebody for the past year and a half by force. Why should Cloud expect him to be in a bar? 

“Hmm,” sounds so sad still. Zack aches to see him, to be able to touch him.

“You okay?” 

There’s only choppy breathing. Slow and pulled away from the phone speaker. It hurts more, to be far from him. Cloud responds to his touch better, easier to draw him back from himself. 

Zack wishes he were there, with him and not tipsy on Bigg’s stupid forester. 

“Bad day?” he already knows, but the hitches in Cloud’s breathing tells him he’s trying hard to hide it. 

“...yeah…” He sounds so unsure, like he can’t remember what’s happening at the moment.

He can only talk to him, help him through it, “Earliest thing you can remember, Short stuff?”

“...I...I don’t know,” Shit, that’s not good. Zack can’t gauge how bad Cloud can get, but the worst episode he’s had put him back at the start of the year, barely even remembered they had been ‘together’ for two months already. 

After that Tifa had pulled him aside, told him, sometimes, Cloud regresses so bad he won’t remember he had zoned out for a whole day. He hasn’t seen that and right now, Zack hopes he’s not completely alone. He sounds like he might be in that state. 

“Okay, that’s okay,” he hates asking what he remembers, in case it makes his temporary amnesia worse, but sometimes it seems to help him grasp at a reference point, “remember when I first kissed you?”

He’s quiet, even his breathing stops being rough and goes calm. Without seeing his face, he can’t tell if it helped or not.

“Halloween...after you yelled at me,” there we go, a teasing tone coming through. 

“Hey- _looking_ _out_ for you,” 

Even a small laugh, still a bit watery, but better. 

“..Thanks..” His words are still surrounded too much with silence, but he sounds clearer. Not better, Cloud is usually off the whole day, when he regresses. 

Another large group stumbling away from the bar just makes him feel worse. Even more guilty. He suddenly really doesn’t care if he comes off as needy or too invested. Cloud is quickly becoming the best thing happening to him. 

“I miss you, I’m sorry I’m not there,” Slurs only a little bit. The hot night air and starkness of the phone call helping to temper his intoxication. 

A few more deep breaths, sounds like he’s calming his nerves and overthinking.

“Do...you want to be?” So quiet he almost doesn’t catch the last half. 

Huh, “be with you? Yeah,” isn’t that what he just said. 

“No..I mean...do you... wanttocomestayhere?” Rushing his words, Zack has to replay in his head a few times before his slowed brain works out what Cloud is asking him, “Y-you don’t ha-”

No way, come and stay with Cloud? Asking him the day he’s finally free from travel restrictions. He’s only sorry he’s slow on the uptake, probably gives Cloud some anxiety over it but-

“Hell fucking yeah, I do. Shit, I’ve been thinking about you every day, Cloud,” A vibration in his chest might shake him apart, he’s suddenly so excited and can’t stand being stuck in Midgar. Even though he hasn’t seen nearly half the city in a year. He can skip it, to see Cloud, he’ll miss out on anything. 

The little gasp in his ear makes him smile dumbly at nothing, gets a few looks from passing people. Judging, whatever, he can be this happy. Holy shit, he can’t wait, the same feeling from the day Cloud left, warm and tightening in him. Setting every worry he’s got at ease. 

Fuck, he really is falling in love with him. 

“Okay.” Cloud says, like Zack’s the one that asked him, “I...me too.” 

His face is going to fall off, too much smiling, it’s making his eyes watery, and he doesn’t care how stupid he looks sitting on an old forester, bitting into his lip to keep from screaming his happiness. Probably really is all teary-eyed and shaking with intensity.

Cloud still takes hitching breaths every so often and he’s more quiet than normal. But Zack stays out in the parking lot, staring up at the sky for the few stars peeking through the light pollution, talking Cloud’s ear off and wondering if he’s looking at the same cluster of stars he is. 

It feels too fast when Jessie and the others come wandering back out to the car. Completely drunk, even Aerith is walking in a steadily growing criss corss line. Wedge has to keep reaching out to redirect her to the right car. 

“There you, s’lost forever,” Aerith slurs at him. He laughs at her, she hasn’t been this smashed in a while. 

“I gotta go, Cloud,” he says into his phone, eyeing his friends all failing pretty hard at getting into the car. Shares an amused look with Wedge, “you okay? I can call you again when I get home.”

“I’m fine. See you soon?” He tries to hide the hopefulness in his voice. Silly. And Cute. Zack barely keeps from cooing at him, god, he’s so cute. Worried Zack will just change his mind.

Never, he’s going to stick to Cloud until he gets tired of him. 

Wedge’s amused smile turns teasing as Zack hangs up and stares at his phone a little too long, punch-drunk with joy. 

“Let’s go lover-boy,” he says, “can’t leave without all of you in the car.”

Zack smoothly jumps down, sobered from time and laughing in Cloud’s ear for-shit, he’s been on the phone for three hours. He could have sworn he’s only been out here twenty minutes tops. 

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t realise-”

Wedge shrugs, pushes at him to get over to the front seat, the three super drunk ones all laughing and falling on each other in the back.

“Don’t worry, bro, I get it. Young lo-ve,”

He laughs and rolls his eyes. Knows the heat on his face is trying to make itself known again. 

The drive back is faster, it’s late in the night, well past midnight and he’s stuck on Cloud’s soft laughs, his mood changing for the better at the end there. Thinks about seeing his deep blue eyes again and his half-smiles when he thinks Zack is being cute. Can’t wait to pull him close and thread his fingers in his hair.

When he stumbles into the house, more tired than drunk, Angeal and Sephiroth are asleep. He crashes on the couch, barely kicking off his shoes. Blurrily puts his phone next to his ear on the couch cushion and dials Cloud anyway. 

He answers sleepily, but Zack doesn’t think he’s woken him, sounds a little off still. 

Stays on the call until he passes out, mumbling whatever crosses his mind, and hoping he’s helping Cloud at least a little. 

He wakes up to Sephiroth’s low hum and a hair ruffle, on his way to start breakfast. 

His phone’s blinking a blue little light at him.

Cloud: _Thanks for staying up with me. Good Night, Zack._

***

“So, this Strife kid, he's the reason you’ve been giving bedroom eyes to your phone?”

He fucking swears, it’s Angeal’s main mission in life to embarrass him. Good thing Zack doesn’t embarrass too easily. He does shift around in the seat, fixing the twisted seat belt and leaning more against the window. Averting his gaze to watch the trees start to thin out and fields of wheat popping up. 

Just cause he’s teasing him for a reaction doesn’t mean Zack wants to start talking about this with Angeal...and Sephiroth, who is fucking twisting in the front seat to smirk at him. Assholes, he hates them. They are so mean to him. 

“I do not.” 

They get their reward, he can’t really stop the flush on his face as they both burst out laughing. Fucking _Sephiroth-_ a full-body laugh, the ones Zack has only seen him do when he thinks it’s only him and Angeal. 

“Oh, pup, lying to yourself isn’t really healthy.”

He sighs, smacks his head against the cold glass of the window, and wonders if he brained himself in Angeal’s fancy lincoln if Angeal would just toss his body out onto the road to bleed out instead of ruin his luxury car. Cause, he wants that to happen. _Right now._

“I’m not lying to myself.”

Angeal’s gaze is heavy all of a sudden, in the rearview mirror, “just to us then?”

He was hoping they wouldn't bring it up. He didn’t...not tell them. Fuck, he’s pretty sure he gushed about Cloud to the both of them the whole year, before they even started dating. He just didn't tell them when they did. He’s not sure why. He’s all thrown off. Cloud’s the first person after Aerith he’s been with and he just doesn’t want to mess it up.

He’d been so in love with her...he’d wondered for months, how he didn’t notice her indifference to him. She’d been clear, after he’d looked back on it, that she wasn’t interested in a relationship. And yet, his dumb brain had just full scale went there, crash and burned so hard he’s still feeling the aftershocks. 

He doesn’t want to do that with Cloud and even though he’s pretty sure it’s not the same...he still...he doesn’t know. Zack sighs. He doesn’t want to jinx it. Feels like if he tells Angeal and Sephiroth, his _family_ , that he’s fucking falling in love too fast again, Cloud will subconsciously pull a 180 and break his heart. 

That’s a lecture he doesn’t need to hear again. 

“I’m not lying to you,” he’s pouting, huffing at the scenery flying by. 

He sees them glance at each other, out of the corner of his eyes. He’s just going to ignore them, slouches down in the car seat and pretends it’s not an hour drive still to Nibelheim. 

“Zack,” Angeal’s trying with him again, not even ten minutes later, “Not everyone is going to be like Aerith.”

God. Damnit. How does he always know what he’s thinking? 

“Yeah, I know,” It’s been a sore spot for a while. Along with the ‘incident’ that’s causing the whole reason Angeal is driving him all the way out to Nibelhiem. He wishes he would have fought harder for his driving license back, now that he’s stuck in a car with Angeal and his sad eyes. 

He doesn't know what’s worse, all the pity or Sephiroth hiding a smile behind his hand. Rude. 

“Do you? You haven’t mentioned this at all. Going to stay with him for the rest of summer break? Seems more serious the-”

“-Okay,” Zack snaps. The air in the car changes and he feels bad instantly, “look...I just don’t really know what we are. I didn’t want to mention it cause...I’m trying not to pressure Cloud with anything.”

And maybe himself too. He’s not appreciating the lecture though, he’s fucking twenty three, he’s a little dumb still, but he’s not a kid. 

The tension in the car stays and now he feels like he has to fix it. He doesn’t have the energy either. Cloud’s waiting for him, he’s supposed to be excited, not annoyed. 

“He’s smart,” Sephiroth says, any trace of a smile out of his voice, Zack doesn’t feel like looking at him to see if he’s set back into his flat expression, “second highest in my mathematics 101.” 

Of course, Cloud is smart, works extra hard too, way more than any of his classmates. If he hadn’t been injured, fighting mixed mental damage and trauma, he’d blow everyone out of the water. Zack feels his chest swell, he’s proud of him. Constantly fighting his injuries and still is quicker and smarter than most of his peers. 

“Yeah, he is,” Zack tries to be clipped, but anytime he talks about Cloud, a soft, rounded out tone slips into his voice that he can’t stop. Fond...if not stronger.

“What’s his major?” Again, Sephiroth. Zack’s surprised he’s trying, it’s like pulling teeth normally, to get Sephiroth interested in anything other than his theories and research. 

Or Angeal. He’s always interested in Angeal. 

He’s trying then, to ease Zack’s worry and his unsure thoughts. Just makes him feel even more guilty. He sighs and melts a little. 

“Engineering, I think mechanical, he likes bikes, engines,” It’s easy to talk about Cloud anyway, just as long as they stay away from their relationship status. 

“Ah, surprising.”

Cause of his looks? Zack would think, of all people, Sephiroth would be the last to judge on looks. The amount he’s dealt with it his whole life, all the times he’s overheard him complain to Angeal. 

“Why?” he’s getting defensive, glares at the sudden mountain range coming into view around the turn. He waits for it too, a comment about Cloud getting spacey in class, or his odd habit of his handwriting switching to a different style on his bad days. It was jarring, when Zack first saw it. 

“Just mechanical? Hmmph,” He knows that tone, disappointed, but with what, “He should go for something more challenging, with his marks.”

From one class, Sephiroth can’t possibly tell from that. Still...it’s not like Zack disagrees. It melts his irritation even more, Sephiroth is really trying here. He’d barely even blinked at Aerith. 

“He...won’t,” Zack admits and maybe he shouldn’t. It’s not his place to tell people about Cloud’s condition. Or his struggles with his confidence. 

Sephiroth is good enough to pick up on Zack’s hesitation and the car cabin falls silent again. It’s less tense though, so Zack doesn’t tense back up. Watches the road curve and dip up and down. 

Without him dreading the drive, the last hour goes fast, the road turns around a patch of forest, cutting through and dips down one more time to open up suddenly to flat fields. Stretches out far on either side of the road and straight ahead, Mt. Nibel looms, getting larger and larger as they speed along.

Rolls of hay rolled out on the fields start to follow the road and then buildings appear just as sudden as the mountain. 

All of Zack’s moody feelings dissipate and he sits up as his heart starts to race. It’s been a month and a half, with only three weeks left of summer break. And he gets to spend all of it here, in Nibelheim, with Cloud. Zack can’t stop the little vibrations shooting through his body. His energy gathers quickly and he can’t even try to hide the smile splitting across his face. 

They slow down getting into town, but Cloud had told them Tifa’s house isn’t too far from the entrance. A deep brown, two-story house, with blue shutters. The address pushed into Angeal’s phone. 

Even if they didn’t have the GPS telling them to turn left and go straight, Zack sees the house immediately, on their left. It’s not the house he picks out, even though it stands out among its neighbors, taller and has a lot of land surrounding it. A large oak tree standing proudly in the front with an old rope swing. Not the dark familiar pickup in the street. 

No, it’s the blonde hair catching the late morning sun, sitting in the driveway, bent over a beat-up motorcycle. Cloud’s sitting on the concrete, twisting and poking away at the side of the bike, absorbed in his task. 

Tifa’s waving at the car from inside the garage, giving Zack a little wink and disappears inside. It doesn’t draw Cloud’s attention, not until Angeal pulls slowly up to the curb and Zack is climbing out of the low lying car with just the smallest of difficulty. 

Cloud’s concentrated frown melts completely as he looks up and meets Zack’s eyes. Everything slows down and the sun seems to glitter across Cloud’s hair and in his eyes just so, pops all the blue and the freckles under his eyes are darker than Zack’s seen them. 

He stuns Zack, catches the breath in his lungs, so much it’s overwhelming and when Cloud’s face breaks into the biggest smile, a shiver runs through him and his heart starts racing. Hard to believe, he actually forgot how beautiful Cloud is. Feels that soul stopping push, the same one, the first time he ever saw him. 

He hears Angeal snort at him from the car, says something but it falls short on his ears. Cloud’s already moving, standing from his spot on the driveway. Grease spots on his white tank and a smudge across his left cheek. Zack’s not sure he moved, but Cloud’s suddenly pushing into his space, arms tightening around Zack’s waist and shoving his face down into his shoulder. 

He hugs him tight, savoring his sun-warmed skin, the bitter-sweet scent of engine grease, and his shampoo mixing. Something inside him starts to click back into place, settles just right as he pulls back enough to slide his hand up Cloud’s neck, around to the back of his head to tilt his face up just right and kiss him. Zack thought he’d nearly lose himself in lust seeing him and while he always wants Cloud that way, he just feels the sunlight from the inside out, excitement settling into a happy buzz of just being near him again. 

He kisses Cloud sweetly, all lip and slow, drags it out as long as he can so he can brush his hands across Cloud’s face, cradle him close and pretend he hasn’t been missing in his life for a month and a half. 

“Hi,” Cloud’s laughing softly through his greeting, eyes warm and rests his cheek against Zack’s chin. 

It’s too cute and Zack squeezes him in close again, holding him tight, “Cloud, I missed you so much.” 

It’s pleasing, the soft way Cloud melts into his neck, slipping his arms over Zack’s chest and compressing in small, so Zack can really hold him close. 

Of course, Angeal is still being kind of a dick and honks the horn, startling both of them from their reunion. He expects a blush and for Cloud to shy into himself. Instead, he laughs, brightly and squeezes Zack’s arms as he pulls away from him. Stuns Zack again and he has to shake himself as Angeal calls him to the car.

“Hey, pup, you forgot your stuff,” he’s smirking at him, judging him too long with that dumb glint in his eyes. 

“Don’t start,” Zack says, but he can’t drop the ridiculous grin on his face and the fluttering in his stomach. He opens the back door again and yanks out his massive backpack, heavy with as much as he could shove into it. Reaches for his lacrosse stick and his laptop that had slid over to the far side of the seat during the drive. 

Sephiroth catches his eye with a similar smirk as Angeal’s, more subdued of course, and somehow less teasing. 

“Okay,” Angeal says, leaning his arm out the window as Zack hovers on the sidewalk, glancing back at Cloud watching him, “Be good, don’t try and get away with anything out here.”

By that he probably means driving. Zack rolls his eyes, “yeah, I know. Don’t worry, probation I know.”

“You have to check in next week, that’s the deal. Once a month, you have to call your parole officer,” 

“I _know_ ,” Zack huffs, he’s never even spent time in jail, but if it’s what he has to do for early lifted restrictions, it’s worth the annoyance. 

“You going to introduce him?” Angeal nods at Cloud. Zack doesn’t miss Cloud’s eyes widen and his shy bristle runs in his shoulders. He chuckles.

“Cloud’s shy, maybe when you get rid of that evil glint in your eyes,”

Angeal laughs, “Evil huh, we can be nice.” Sephiroth next to him is losing interest, barley glances at Zack and occupies himself with the trees and houses across the road. 

“Huh-uh, well too bad, you haven’t earned it yet,” Zack teases back, “don’t you have some boring couple-y place to be?”

A ‘vacation’, Angeal had said. Made an excuse so Zack wouldn’t feel so bad asking him to drop him off in Nibelheim. They are going to a small coastal resort about another two hours from here. 

“Alright, see you in three weeks,” Angeal tucks himself back into the car all the way, “behave.”

Zack rolls his eyes, “by-e,” waves a short mock hand wave at him, and readjusts his backpack. 

He walks back to Cloud, keeping an eye on Angeal’s Lincoln as it turns around and rolls back to get back onto the highway, waves for real at him as he drives by. 

“Is that my mathematics professor?” Cloud visibly jolts back in surprise and maybe a little bit of PTSD. It’s all the fucking pen throwing, Zack’s mentioned it to Seph, often. Traumatizes his students for the rest of their college careers. 

“Unfortunately, yeah. Sephiroth’s been dating Angeal for longer than I can remember,”

Cloud’s eye twitches, distracted, but he laces his fingers with Zack’s as he slides his hand into his, “ _Sephiroth…._ ” 

Oh yeah. Zack forgets that too, Seph never tells his students his name. Has a weird complex and refuses to let anyone call him anything but Professor at school. He laughs loudly into the quickly heating air. Tugs Cloud into his body and presses a quick kiss against his lips. 

All of ten minutes and Zack can’t remember what he did the last couple of weeks. Feels like Cloud has been with him the whole time. 

“Oh man,” Tifa’s light voice floats from the garage, “you just going to keep him outside, Cloud? Or let him put his stuff in the house?” 

Cloud’s rolling his eyes, but tugs Zack along with him, dragging him into the shadowed garage and into the house. 

It connects into an open floor plan, a large living room, and a kitchen in the farther corner. A warm cinnamon scent fills his senses and he has to blink to adjust from the bright sunlight into the dimmer house. 

It’s well taken care of, just enough clutter to feel lived in. All the furniture is a pleasant mix of unmatching sets, all deeper colors that run well with the muted earthy tones throughout the whole floor. It’s dim, in the living room side, but the sunlight falls in nicely from the pair of french doors going into the backyard on the kitchen’s far side. 

“Down the hall is a bathroom and the laundry room, and the den. But that’s Dad’s office, so it’s off-limits during work hours.” Tifa says, eyeing Zack like he’s going to just go bursting in there. 

He pulls a face on her, what’s with everyone thinking he’s going to run around and cause trouble. Geez. 

“This way, Zack,” Cloud tugs at his hand again, eyeing Tifa for him. Pulls him towards the narrow staircase just next to the door into the garage. Upstairs are narrow hallways with skylights lining the ceiling. T shaped at the end. Cloud takes him into the first bedroom off the staircase.

“Mr. Lockhart made the guest room up for you,” Cloud says. The room is a decent size, with a large bed in the corner and a small old window on the far wall, a large old comfy chair underneath it, the corner of it tufted and ripped from use. Minimal and earth tones just like the kitchen and living room downstairs.

He puts his backpack down, lays his lacrosse stick on the bed. Turns back to CLoud lingering in the doorway.

“There’s a bathroom a door over, and the rest of the rooms are down the hall at the end.”

Zack nods and they stare at each other in silence. 

“Okay,” Cloud laughs, it clenches at Zack’s heart. He’s so….relaxed here, “come on.” 

The hallway has loads of pictures along the walls. Most of them of Tifa and a sandy-haired man with a mustache. Zack wouldn’t have guessed he was her father, they look nothing alike, except their eyes. The same deep ruby-brown color. There’s a few pictures of a woman who looks almost identical to Tifa, all of them seem older and Tifa’s a young child in them. 

He leads him down the hall, past that bathroom he said, and into the first room on the right. It’s a stark difference to the rest of the house. A soft muted grey and the walls are littered with blueprints of different cars, engines of all kinds. Hover shelves on the far wall with a wide range of books and old parts to something...probably a car. The end of the bottom shelf, a picture of a blonde woman. 

A computer sits on a small desk in the corner and the bed is messily made with a range of blue sheets. Cloud is sliding open the mirrors on the closet and searching for something on the floor. Stands back up with a bundle of pillows and a thicker comforter.

“It’ll start getting cold at night, before we go back,” He says, “Be right back,” and leaves Zack in his room by himself. 

He’s never pictured Cloud caring about room decor and it’s pretty stark, but there are little odd things that are purposely a flare of Cloud’s touch. Like the car parts on the shelves and the gaming system tucked away on his dresser, gathering dust next to the TV. 

Most of the books are a mix of fiction and mechanical-type non-fiction. But there’s a few medical ones, mental trauma, and self-psychology help. Those twinge at Zack’s chest. He tries not to be too nosey, but he does take the picture down to look closer. Cloud’s in it, he didn’t notice before. Maybe a pre-teen, Zack snorts, he’s got a little poney-tail wrapping low from around his neck. 

He looks like her, his mother. Same eyes, all the way to the arch of their brows. And the same narrowed, sharp nose. 

“It’s my mom,” Cloud’s voice makes him jump. He doesn’t retort back, ‘of course.’ Not with the sad look Cloud’s not hiding. 

So Zack says something just as obvious, to help ease the sadness creeping in the air, “You look like her.”

Cloud huffs, “yeah…” 

Reminds him of his mom. Everyone told him that too. His mother’s smile. 

He lets Cloud take the picture from him and place it back on the shelf. 

“Wanna come help me with my bike?” He asks him like Zack’s just going to ditch him. 

He laughs, “huh, _yeah_ , I’m not here for Tifa.” 

Cloud flushes, “sorry. I’m not used to anyone here other than her...I was kind of an asshole growing up, so..”

Didn’t have any friends. He doesn’t have to say it. The silence comes back and Cloud kind of just hovers in front of him, still blushing. 

It makes Zack giddy, still riding high on seeing Cloud again, “well, your bike’s outside yeah?” he teases him. 

“Y-yeah,” 

They spend nearly the whole day outside. Cloud’s taken apart nearly half the bike, replacing parts he said he finally could get his hands on. Zack has no idea about any of this. He can barely replace the oil in his jeep. It’s fun though, sitting out in the sun, handing Cloud things he doesn't know what they are. Likes to pretend he’s just a bit dumber than he is, just to irritate Cloud a little and get him to roll his eyes in a cute, annoyed huff. 

Cloud mentions how bored he must be, but no way. Watching him get more grime and grease on his tank, on his arms. Stares at the slowly pink tint of a sunburn appear on his shoulders, Zack only noticed after he reaches over too far, the line of the sunburn stark against his pale skin. He’ll take a whole day where he gets to stare at the muscle lines in Cloud’s arms and the peaking skin when his shirt rides up, over anything. 

The sun is starting to push into low hours when Cloud finally snaps and twists the last bit of odd parts back onto his bike. Re-adjusts the paneling and tosses his work tools in a pile. He stands and stares at Zack. 

Lots of staring today, but it’s not like Zack’s not doing the same. 

“Looking pretty red there,” Zack says, reaches out and bobs Cloud on the nose. It’s tinged pink, like his shoulders, making his sparse freckles pop even more. 

“It’ll fade,” Cloud says, stepping close and grabbing Zack’s shirt to pull him in. 

He shoves into his space again, hiding his face in his shoulder. Zack can feel the heat radiating from his sunburn, but he doesn't wince when he hugs him back. Must look bad because he’s normally so pale. 

“Zack,” So quiet, Zack has to hunch down over him and lean in close, “thanks...for coming to stay.” 

He sounds...like he really thought Zack would refuse. 

“Now you’ll never get rid of me, I’ll follow you home every summer,” He’s teasing but also, he wants to. 

Chill, slow it up, that’s what he’s supposed to be doing. But when he can feel Cloud’s smile against his neck and the little laugh he gives him, it makes it harder to remember he’s supposed to be easing into this. 

***

Zack’s up before Cloud the next morning. He can hear Tifa’s soft voice floating up the stairs, so he goes down after a shower anyway. He didn’t bring much with him, just his laptop for that essay he’s supposed to finish before the school year starts. He half runs down the stairs, pauses at the last one, suddenly nervous. 

Tifa’s father is helping her in the kitchen, making breakfast. He hadn’t met him yesterday, Tifa said he was out late for work. Not only is Zack a guest, but...this man is the closest thing Cloud’s got to parents, like Angeal and Sephiroth for him. 

Maybe he should just go back upstairs and fool around on his phone until Cloud wakes up.

“Zack! Good morning,” Tifa says, gives him a little ‘come over here’ wave. 

“Uh, morning,” he tries to only look at Tifa. She side-eyes him with a little smile and nudges her father. No, don’t do that, he doesn't want attention right now.

“Dad, this is Zack,”

Mr. Lockhart isn’t a stern-looking man. Even though he’s glaring at Zack when he turns around, it’s easy to tell he doesn’t normally have such a severe look on his face. Tifa rolls her eyes and takes over the eggs on the stovetop. 

“Ah, the boyfriend,” Even his voice is gentle, similar to Tifa’s mannerisms. And yet, Zack still feels intimidated, “first things first before I welcome you to my home-”

“-oh my god, Dad. You are not bad-coping him right now,” Tifa laughs.

“-shush, daughter-”

“-Ha!-”

The glare cracks quite a bit and their bickering is light-hearted and sweet. 

“Oh fine,” he turns back to Zack, glare falling completely, “Just listen up then. That kid’s had a hard life. You being good to him?”

Gentle eyes and he’s putting off an easy air like he’s known Zack all his life already.

“Yes, sir,”

“-nooo, don’t call him sir, he’ll love it too much-” Tifa says, hip bumps her dad.

“Alright, and second, no… ‘extra cuddling’ I don’t wan-”

Zack knows the heat is visible on his face, the rare times it is, but oh my god, this is actually so mortifying. He’s glad Cloud’s not awake, he’d be exploding with steam out of his ears.

“Dad!” Tifa’s trying to save Zack the humility, but she’s still laughing at him, “we’re not kids. Oh my god, just, be nice. Zack’s a sweetie okay.”

“Mmm, and one more thin-”

“-Nope, no, Zack you’re helping me with breakfast, Dad, scoot outta here.”

Tifa’s shoving Mr. Lockhart along until he laughs loudly and heads down towards the den.

“I’ll be watching you.” it’s probably supposed to sound intimidating, but Zack’s already relaxed in all the laughter and teasing. He’ll still try though, can feel it pulling in his bones, wants Cloud’s family to like him. 

“Zack,” Tifa’s laughing with a bit of embarrassment and shaking her head in sympathy.

“It’s fine,” he says, actually it’s pretty amusing. He slides next to her to take over mandating the food while she moves around the kitchen, “It’s nice anyway. That Cloud’s got someone to look out for him.

“Ugh, you are too understanding,” Tifa says. 

They work around each other for a bit, Tifa passing by him a few times before settling by his side with a large bowl of pancake batter.

“Hey,” Tifa says suddenly, quiet, staring into the batter with soft eyes, “thank you. Cloud’s...he’s been having a rough summer. Just one day, Zack, you’re here one day and he’s already a million times better.”

She sounds as if she might cry and Zack gets a weird warmth in his chest. Happy that he can help Cloud, but upset to hear he’s been struggling. 

“Rough time?” he wants to know. Cloud only called him that one time. He needs to know how much Cloud has been...not hiding, but just, not coming to him with. He doesn’t want that. He wants to be with Cloud through all of his struggles, even if they are small. 

“Yeah. It’s the move back and forth. He thought it might happen, changing environments so quickly. He kept thinking he was still at the apartment on campus for the first two weeks.”

That’s...a long time. Cloud usually snaps out of his episodes in a day. During finals, he had a few bad days in a row, but not so consistent and it always cleared up halfway through the day. He wants to know more, he can see it in her face, there’s a lot more. But there are light footsteps coming down the stairs and Cloud is shuffling over with a quiet yawn. 

He seems a little out of it, doesn’t really say anything, and stares at Zack for a few seconds before it clicks in his brain who he’s looking at. It’s too adorable, the way he lights up all at once.

“Morning, short stuff,” Zack says and Cloud just beams at him some more. Zack’s not going to last these three weeks, if Cloud’s going to just flash him smiles that big and happy. 

“Hi,” keeps saying hi in that dazed happy tone. He can hardly stand it. 

“Shove over, Fair,” Tifa’s moving him so she can get at a clean pan and starts pouring pancakes on, “we gotta hurry up. Remember Cloud, we said we’d drive out and get those last few hay bundles.”

Zack has no idea, but the groan Cloud gives, tilts his neck all the way back in complaint and collapses on the counter like he’s just been told the worst news ever. He didn’t expect it and he doesn’t hold in his laugh very well. Immediately gets glared at from behind messy hair and a stills unburnt arm.

“Hay bundles?” Zack asks, sliding onto a stool around the island counter. He reaches out and tangles his fingers with Cloud’s, even though he’s still glaring at him from his slouched posture.

Tifa nods, “yeah we go collect the smaller ones way out that the farmers miss sometimes. Drop them off at the ranch across town.”

Gongaga was a small town, but it wasn’t farming land. It was a few factories and one big company that placed it’s roots out there to be away from the city, a tech company. Out here, it’s really the country. 

They eat quickly, with Mr. Lockhart coming in and stealing a plate full and teasing Cloud a little about keeping Zack from him yesterday. It’s still noon by the time everyone is dressed and they pile into Tifa’s pick up. The heat is scorching already and Zack only lasts about ten minutes before he’s shrugging off his light flannel. 

It’s fine anyway, this way he can lean up against Cloud, their bare arms touch like he’s fucking been denied sex his whole life and gets excited from any skin on skin. That’s not what happens at all. No, instead he’s just a freak and can’t control himself when it comes to Cloud. 

They spend nearly four hours running out in the fields and dragging hay bundles back to the pick-up. Stop and start a lot, driving a few miles and then jumping out. It’s hard work and he’s a little embarrassed to admit, Tifa’s outperforming them by miles. Laughing at them with her hair flowing behind her and tossing bundles like they weigh nothing into the back of the truck. Doesn’t help that Cloud keeps brushing against him, lingers his touch on Zack’s back, on his arm. 

Distracting him. 

By the time they get to the ranch and unload all the bundles again, it’s already late evening. Spent the whole day running around in the heat. Zack knows his arms are about two shades darker than when he got here. He tans so easily. 

They are just hanging around, just outside the ranch, as Tifa talks to the owners, ‘real fast’. It’s been thirty minutes already. 

Cloud’s sitting on the back of Tifa’s pickup, legs dangling off the edge of the bed. Smokey dust kicking up from the dry, dirt road, lingers around the tires and dusting Cloud’s ripped denim. The sun’s setting, a rich hue of orange-red, haloes around the truck and around Cloud. 

He looks beautiful, covered in the golden setting light. Zack steps up, in between his legs and drags his hands slow along the rough denim covering his thighs. He’s got to look up at him, the pick-up is massive, elevating him well above Zack’s eye level. 

Zack’s expecting a shy inhale or averting eyes, but out here in Nibelheim, where the kicked up dirt dust is still floating around them and the mountains loom beautifully at all times. 

Out here in the country, Cloud’s sturdy and strong in his silence. His bashfulness melts away into a gentle reserved nature, hardly gives Zack any of it. 

He gets Cloud’s arms stretching out instead. Resting on his shoulders, hands linking behind his neck.

Gets a serene smile and his whole body just softens. 

It’s not the first time and it’s not ever going to be the last, that his breath catches so fast in his lungs, he’s frozen for a moment.

How the hell did he manage to end up with Cloud giving Zack looks like that.

Just for him. 

All the shit he’s done and fuckups he’s made.

The universe just decided to come along and put Cloud in his arms. 

For some reason. 

***

Zack settles down into the large bed as best he can. Sore in ways he hasn’t felt in so long. At least they had a large dinner to make up for the extra calorie-burning they did all day. He’d been exhausted coming back to the house, but now he’s wide awake. 

It’s always weird, sleeping in someone else’s house, in their overly clean and put together guest room. Feels unlived in. 

He has a hard time being comfortable in places like...this. It’s away from the rest of the bedrooms in the house. For privacy, the location is probably meant to feel like that, but after Mr. Lockhart’s ‘playful’ warning, Zack feels like he’s deliberately separated from Cloud. 

It was blistering hot all day and even in the cooler night air, it’s still warm and stuffy in the room. He’s pushed open the old, small window to get any kind of relief. Apparently, the Lockhart’s only like to use air conditioning on days that are really hot. Whenever that is, Zack’s in his boxers and he’s still sweating little droplets. 

He can’t get too comfortable, lays on top of all the blankets and sheets, and stares at the wall.

Tries to will his body to stop sweating. 

It’s not going how he’s planned. 

Sleep is just pushing his eyes closed when the softest knock jerks him back. Nothing follows, he almost feels like his heat-sleepy mind made it up. But the doorknob turns so slowly and the door opens just enough and Cloud slips in the room. Hair a bit messier than normal and in his boxer-briefs and old tethered v-neck. He looks so soft and sleepy and Zack suddenly doesn’t give a shit it’s so hot he can’t think right. He just wants to get in close to Cloud and his soft blue eyes. 

“Hey,” Cloud says, the quietest Zack’s ever heard him, but in the stillness and late hours, it’s loud. 

“Hi,” Zack sits up, scoots down so his legs are dangling off the edge of the bed. Chuckles low, seems to be all they are saying to each other lately. Little ‘hi’s and small smiles. 

Cloud’s coming right to him, the same confidence he’s had for days set in his shoulders. Zack still can’t stop his amazement, at Cloud’s ease here, away from the chaotic campus. Comfortable, he’s nearly a part of the mountains and the fields. Zack has a hard time picturing him anywhere else. 

Even though he met him lost in the middle of campus looking like someone had just sucker-punched him in the gut. 

Cloud slips right between his legs, knees hitting the high mattress, and reaching out for Zack. He brushes at the few strains always falling in his eyes, gaze locked on them as they sway under his knuckles. 

It’s sweet. Cloud’s softness is prominent out here too. 

Zack reaches for him, fingertips skidding over his hips, slipping under his shirt to rest on his warm skin. He’s damp, sweating in the heat as well. Zack presses his thumbs just into the dip under Cloud’s high cut hip bones. Rubs tiny circles into his skin. 

“Breakin’ the rules, short stuff,” Zack teases, voice just as quiet. 

Back on campus, Cloud would probably huff in irritation, roll his eyes, or fully fall into a pout. 

But here...he laughs. Breathy and soft, low, and fitting in the warm light from the last lamp on. Cloud presses his knees more into the mattress, leans in closer to rest his head on Zack’s.

“He’s just kidding,” Cloud presses in all the way for a dry kiss. Zack hums into it, “Pretty sure Mr. Lockhart’s just happy someone is willing to put up with me.”

He does that a lot, even here in his comfort zone. Puts himself down in small little ways. If it were anyone else, Zack would laugh it off and tease back. But there’s an inflection every time he does it, sadder than the rest of his words for just a moment. 

He believes all the little jabs he says about himself, disguised in humor. Zack frowns, pushes his thumbs a little harder into Cloud’s hips to draw a gasp from him. 

It’s just the perfect sound, quieter than most, but heavy on the needy tone, lost in all the air. Zack could hear him gasp like that forever. 

It makes heat curl low in him and his cock twitches in interest. Zack uses Cloud’s hips to pull himself closer, sliding along the bed, and closes his thighs in against Cloud’s legs. Zack smiles up at him, barely has to tilt his head up, Cloud’s pretty short and his own long torso doesn’t really give him standing an advantage. 

Cloud’s leaning against him, draping his arms over his shoulders and leaning down for a harder kiss. Draws more hums from Zack, more need, and he slides his hands up Cloud’s back, bunching his shirt up as he traces his spine. 

Cloud’s moan vibrates against their lips, sends a spark through Zack and his slowly building need just explodes into a fierce want. Their kissing gets short and smacking loud in the night. Zack pulls away for only a few seconds to finish pushing Cloud’s shirt up, lets him tug it off and toss it to the floor. 

Zack’s already breathing hard, can’t look away from Cloud’s heavy-lidded eyes and the blush on his cheeks. 

Fuck, they shouldn’t be doing this. Zack can hear Mr. Lockhart’s teasingly stern voice in the back of his head, ‘no extra _cuddling_ ’. Like they are touch starved teens. Even though, right now, Zack feels pretty touch starved. But Cloud always has that effect on him. Can’t even look at him too long without a needy lust blooming in him. 

It’s not stopping him though, deepening their kisses and dipping his fingers under the waistband of Cloud’s boxer-briefs. Traces the rounded V of Cloud’s ass. 

“W-wait….” Cloud breaks away with another one of those intoxicating gasps of his. 

“Mmm?” Zack wants his lips back on his, “what’s wrong?” he wants him back against him so he can get that ass where he wants it. 

“I…” the hesitation wakes him from his heated lust a little. 

Cloud’s looking down at him with parted lips and an unsureness in his eyes Zack hasn’t seen since...since they first had sex. When it was Cloud’s first time. It gives him a warm, crackling feel in his chest. Cloud was so good for him, so sweet and responsive. 

Zack’s never had someone’s first time. He holds it close to his heart, that Cloud gave him his. 

“What?” Zack laughs a bit, slides his hand up and down his abs, “you okay?”

“I...can I,” Cloud blushes a deep red, swallows thicky and his eyes get darker with lust, “‘Can I...make you feel how you...do to me?”

It’s probably the weirdest roundabout way anyone has asked him if they can fuck him. 

Zack laughs, a full one that shakes his body and pushes Cloud back into his bashfulness. He visibly shrinks into himself, eyes playing keep away now. No, no, Zack doesn’t mean to laugh. He’s not teasing him. 

Fuck, if anything...yeah. Yeah, he’d let Cloud fuck him. Now that it’s in his head, his body heats, he _wants_ it. 

His cock twitches again in his boxers and thickens fully. Fuck...yeah, he really wants Cloud to fuck him. That’ll be good…

“Hey, come here,” Zack laughs again, pulls Cloud to him and rubs reassuringly at his back, “You wanna fuck me, huh?”

Cloud’s blush deepens even more, still can’t meet his eyes. Fuckin- he’s the most adorable person Zack’s ever met. And he’s all his. Gives him his body, however, Zack wants and now...shit. Zack’s really lucked out with him. Cloud wants to make him feel as good as he does when Zack takes him apart. 

“There’s lube in my backpack,” Zack pushes his neck up, kisses Cloud quickly, “Should’ve said something before if you’ve wanted too-”

“-I...no. I like it,” Cloud still can’t manage the eye contact, “I like when you’re inside me. I...I want you to feel that good too.”

Damn, just...Cloud’s giving him everything Zack didn’t know he was missing. Warm feelings and lusty needs. All wrapped in his shyness and his sweet ease, out here in the middle of nowhere. 

“Well, that’s quite a compliment,” Zack presses a kiss to his chest, “get the lube, hot stuff.” 

Zack slips his boxers off as he does, Cloud unzipping all his pockets in his bag before he finds it. Zack chuckles at him again. Holds his hand out for Cloud to come back and fit between his legs. Zack scoots back, so he can lift his legs and rest his knees against Cloud’s body, opening up for him. 

That fucking gorgeous blush just starts spreading across his body. Zack smiles, leans back on his elbows. 

He’s almost a blushing virgin all over again, staring down at Zack with those eyes. His unsureness is leaving, but he’s waiting for something. For Zack’s encouragement?

He can do that, fuck, Zack loves talking during sex. Makes it fun, pulls the best reactions from Cloud. 

“Go right for it,” Zack says, reaching down to stroke himself, he’s getting more excited thinking about it, Cloud being inside him, “whenever you’re ready.”

Cloud makes a half huff, half groan noise at him. A little amused Zack’s talking to him like he’s taking the initiative still. He kind of is, Cloud’s natural default is shy, he’ll probably always need some kind of coaxing. Seriously, Zack’s totally okay with that. Cloud deserves all the compliments and encouragement. 

The cap to the lube is loud and Cloud coats two of his fingers, a little more than necessary, but it’s the same treatment Zack gives him. Overly slick, so it’s a nice glide in. 

Fuck...this is, gonna be so good. His cock throbs in his hand. Pulses out some pre-come. Cloud inhales at him, eyes widened. Just watches Zack’s hand pump over his cock. It makes him harder, knowing him touching himself is a turn on. Sees the blush spreading to Cloud’s shoulders and his eyes get even darker. 

He shimmies out of his underwear and slips in closer. Lifting one of Zack’s legs up higher on his waist, out a little more, exposing Zack’s pucker a little more. 

He’s looking a little lost, it’s so cute. How he just wants to make Zack feel good. 

“Go on, it’s okay. I’ve done this before,” Zack flexes his leg muscles under Cloud’s hand, gives him a bit of kick with his heel.

Cloud leans down, presses a wet open kiss to Zack’s sternum, curls his lube coated fingers down, and Zack jerks at the cold, soft touch at his entrance. Cloud makes a questioning hum at him, looks up from his skin.

“Just cold, don’t worry,” and he is worried. The need to give Zack pleasure, it’s bright in his eyes. He wants to do it right. 

Zack gets a few more slippy, wet kisses on his chest, and then Cloud’s pushing in a single finger. Sliding in slow and watching him carefully. It’s been a bit, but the pressure is the same as he remembers. A pleasant, odd feeling that always feels just a little weird at the very start. 

Zack won’t say being penetrated is the same for him as it is for Cloud. Zack’s never seen anyone react like Cloud. Fucking trembling and moaning like he’d been fucked already, every time, at the very start. Zack barely gets his fingers in him and Cloud’s just shaking apart. Every. Time. 

It’s fucking awesome. 

But, this, it’s already better than others. Just the fact that it’s Cloud. He’s already moving another finger inside Zack. Spreads them very gently inside, pressing his walls to stretch a little. It’s a sharp nip of pleasure, gets his cock throbbing again and Zack starts stroking himself harder. 

“Mmm-yeah, little more,” Zack hums out, gasps as Cloud reaches deeper inside of him and brushes against that spot.

Zack moans, his head falls back and he completely forgets about touching himself. It’s been a really long bit, since anyone has touched him inside so…

“Ah-” Cloud’s testing him, pressing harder and rubbing at Zack’s thigh as he strokes his fingers in an off movement inside him. It’s a staggering rhythm, just barely brushing against his nerves. 

“More, Cloud. You’re doing good, press harder.” 

He drags his fingers out, almost leaving him completely and Zack can’t believe he fucking whines at him, sits up to glare at him for taking his fingers out. He barely meets his gaze before Cloud’s shoving his fingers back in. Still slow, but he presses real hard against the same spot, and Zack’s whole body involuntary rocks up. His reaction seems to settle the nerves in Cloud. He starts pressing faster, curls his fingers, and gently spreads them, working Zack open. 

“Fuck…”

Cloud’s being so sweet, watching him with concerned eyes and teeth biting into his lip, already trembling between Zack’s legs. It’s so fucking cute, Zack can’t handle it. He’s doing so well too. Curling his fingers inside him just right, every time now. 

“Ah-h, s’good,” Zack moans, reaching out and cupping the side of Cloud’s head, thumbs just under his ear in encouragement, “a little more, just a little deeper-mmm.”

Yeah, _there_ , now he’s got it. Zack can’t stop the laugh bubbling from his chest, comes out with his moans as Cloud shifts his fingers and strokes harder, with intent, against the bundle of nerves inside him. He tightens his thighs around Cloud’s waist, draws him closer with a heel digging into his back. 

It’s Cloud’s first time this way and he’s timid, careful with Zack. So sweet, not wanting to mess up or hurt him. Zack’s pretty sure Cloud can’t do that anyway. His body naturally knows how to move, takes to touch quickly. It’s been like that every time Zack’s fucked him and so far, it’s been that way like this too. Picks up on Zack’s small noises and reactions. 

He’s still overly cautious. Hitting in all the right places, but keeping too much girth and pressure for him. 

“Come on, I’m good, another one,” he says, keeps strong eye contact and presses at the spot under Cloud’s jaw that drives him crazy when he bites there. Cloud’s hips jerk, gasps at the press. 

So sensitive. Zack chuckles again, tapers out into a breathy moan as Cloud’s slipping in a third finger. He’s getting more confident, pumps his wrist more, in and out of Zack. Dragging the pads of his fingers hard, down inside him and thrusting back in faster with every moan Zack gives him. It’s giving Zack consistent little waves of pleasure now, starting a fog in his mind. 

“Okay, s’so-good, I’m ready,” he mumbles, pulling Cloud down to lean over and presses his lips lazily against Cloud’s. They are pressed tight and the movement draws Cloud’s fingers out of him. He has to stabilize the quick pull. Hands going either side of Zack’s shoulders. 

It also draws his hips snug against him. Cloud’s hard cock brushes along his entrance, slips up, and rubs against his own dripping cock. Zack shifts, pulls his thighs up to rest on Cloud’s narrow hips, giving him better space to get inside him. That tube of lube is somewhere by his head. He reaches up and feels blind as he pulls Cloud’s bottom lip with his teeth. 

Cloud’s breathing hard, still shoving all his concerned eyes at Zack. This close, his furrowed brows are even more endearing. Zack smiles brightly at him, rocks his hips down in a teasing motion. It gets Cloud’s cock rubbing against his skin and the head of his cock catches against Zack’s relaxed pucker. 

Cloud gasps, hands clutching into the sheets of the bed. Sensitive, always. It’s a good thing Zack’s wound up so tight, he’s got a feeling Cloud’s not going to last long once he gets inside him. 

He hasn’t let anyone fuck him in so long either. Haven't trusted anyone enough. It won’t take much for him too.

Cloud, in all his quiet snarky jokes and his soft shy smiles, he’s always extra sweet and always so honest. Even when he’s reserved and nervous. Looks at Zack like he’s saved him from all his worst nightmares. Maybe Zack has, but he’d say he just came along at the right time. Anyone would jump at scooping Cloud up. Keep his pretty eyes and smooth fair skin to themselves. Why wouldn’t they? 

Zack’s certainly never letting him go. 

Especially now, so eager, Cloud’s so eager to make Zack feel good. Worried but focused, intently listens to every sound he’s making, to see if he’s performing right.

So

Fucking

Cute

God, if he’s got enough energy after this, he’s going to flip Cloud around and fuck him back. For being so sweet and good to him. 

He finally gets a hold of the lube. Gently pushes Cloud back so he can squeeze a handful out and he reaches for Cloud’s cock. He’s not huge, shorter than Zack is, but he’s pretty thick. He’s going to feel amazing inside him. 

“Okay, Gorgeous,” Zack slurs a little, he’s all heated and ready for Cloud to get inside him, “don’t hold back. You fuck in me however you want.” 

He’s stroking the lube all over Cloud’s cock, reveling in the choked out moans he’s letting out. The flush on his shoulders and across his cheeks almost match the deep pink of his hard cock.

Fuck, he looks so good like this. Trembling, fitting perfectly between Zack’s legs and flushed all over. Zack’s happy he asked if he could try ‘making him feel like Zack does’. Just the sweetest. All shy and can’t outright say he wants to fuck Zack. 

He’s so lucky he found him. 

Cloud’s good and slick now, he can slide right inside him as rough as he wants. 

Of course, he grips Zack’s hips gently, frowns in concentration, and presses the head of his cock in, slowly. 

“Fuck,” yeah, Zack’s okay with slow. The thickness of Cloud’s cock stretches him just right, lighting up all his nerve endings and pulling pressure in the right spots. His own cock jumps; drips out some more precome.

Zack’s not going to last that long either. Shit, he can’t believe he forgot how much he likes getting slow fucked. And Cloud’s cock is so perfect for it. 

He slides in all the way until his hip bones are flush against Zack’s ass and his weight resting over him. His eyes are blown out wide, all dark with lust and he’s breathing heavy, gasping out those little high moans Zack loves every time Zack ever so gently squeezes around his cock. 

“S-stop that Zack, I’m gonna come too fast,” Fuck, Zack can’t wait for that. Wants to feel Cloud spill everything he’s got inside him. 

He doesn’t squeeze around him again, but he does shift and roll his hips up, in a long wide circle, pulling a real loud, raspy moan from Cloud.

“Move then, you feel so fucking good in me,” Zack falls into a moan and rolls his hips again, _so close_ , if Cloud would just shove in a bit more, “that’s it, come on.” 

He’s been told before too, he’s too mouthy. But Cloud flushes deeper and Zack can _feel_ his cock get even harder inside him. Even when Zack’s the one buried deep inside Cloud, the dirty talking always gets him excited, no matter how embarrassed he gets from it. 

Cloud pulls out just as slow, slippery, and good, relighting up his nerves and god, Zack loves this. Being in Cloud’s home, seeing him relaxed and so comfortable out here in his small mountain town. His sunburnt cheekbones and freckles shoulders. He’s such a contrast out here in the open summer air, from the bashful person he knows back at school. Zack...fuck, he really does love him. 

He rolls his hips down to every thrust Cloud gives him. Moans deep and long, can’t keep out the slight happy bouts of laughter mixed in. Sex is just so fun, makes Zack feel so alive and good and -

“Fuck, _yeah_ , that’s it Cloud,” he rocks down again, encouraging Cloud’s uptick in pace, “come on, get in deep. FUCK, ah-ahh.”

Cloud does, he’s so good to him, listening to him and snapping his hips in with one long rough thrust. Just stays inside Zack and rolls his hips, mimicking how Zack goes in deep too. It’s too much. It feels way too good. The constant press of Cloud’s thick cock, it’s hard and amazing and sending sharp tingles up his spine. 

Zack arches up off the bed, tightening his legs around Cloud and reaching out to grasp at his forearms. Holds Cloud’s arms still, so his hands will stay on his hips. 

Except, fuck Cloud’s so, so good to him. He shifts Zack, slides in just a bit deeper and lets go of his hip to grasp at Zack’s large aching cock. Strokes him in fast stuttering movements, all slick with his precome. Times it perfectly with his rolling and the pressing against the knot of nerves inside him. 

It’s just a tad too gentle still but the fucking moans coming from him makes up for any missing pressure. Cloud’s biting into his lower lip, hissing out his moans. He’s going to come any second, it’s his tell. His whole body starts shaking and his hip rolls go wider, less focused, and concentrated. 

It pushes the building pressure in Zack’s lower stomach over the edge. The warmth and slick of Cloud’s hand stroking him, with the thick fill of his cock inside him and the good rubbing-just _everywhere._

His orgasm explodes, crashes over him with hot white stars in his eyes. Zack aches more, his moan trapped in his throat and gasping in the air. He needs to keep the waves of pleasure moving in him, rolls his hips in small tight circles. Cloud groans and stills, his cock pulsing inside Zack. 

They get lost together, in each other’s bodies and their chests gasping. Freeze and tense in the last intense moments of pleasure.

Zack hears the crickets out in the miles of fields first, focusing on the cool rush of air from the summer night coming in through the open window on the other side of the room. 

Cloud’s body shakes all at once, his eyes wide and face slack with endorphins. He crashes down onto Zack, slipping out of him and shoving his face into Zack’s neck. 

Holy...fucking, _fuck._ Zack feels another bubble of laughter rising. He wraps his arms tightly around Cloud and holds him against him. 

He’s trembling in his arms, still trying to regain the air in his lungs. Zack smiles, digs his fingers into Cloud’s hair. It’s damp, sweat at the base of his neck from their fucking and the warmth of summer nights. That cool breeze must feel amazing for him too. Zack watches as goosebumps break out all along his arms. He chuckles and presses a sloppy kiss into Cloud’s hair too. 

“Fuck, Cloud,” he mutters against him, “s’amazing. You did so _good_.”

Cloud shifts, pulls back just enough to look down into Zack’s eyes. He looks fucked over, lips all bitten and dark pink. 

“Did I hurt you?”

Zack laughs, “fuck, no. You couldn’t tell? Shit, that felt so good. Your cock’s amazing.” 

Cloud flushes and glances at the sheets just past Zack’s ear. 

Aw, he embarrassed him. Zack laughs again and pulls Cloud in for a kiss. Slow and wet and Zack slides their lips together in long motions, pressing in and flicking his tongue out to tease his bitten lips with little touches. It’s not too open and raunchy, just enough to get the heat of their breath mixing and Cloud whimpering from his sensitive skin. 

Zack can’t help it, he’s just so happy. It’s always like that for him, gets extra dopey from sex, and energized, giddy. 

Cloud gets lazy and relaxed. Hazed out and stays in a pleasure haze for a long time. 

Zack’s been itching to exploit that. He wants to take Cloud apart for so long that it takes him twice the time to come down from it. Maybe another night, before school starts. While they have time in the lazy summer and the long days. 

Zack rocks his body up, gets some leverage, and rolls them, trapping Cloud under his body. He’s still shaking a little and his eyes have dropped their lids in the wake of their afterglow. He’s so pretty, in the shadows of the moon and the tiny little warm lamp on in the corner. Soft angles and glinting blue eyes. Zack pushes back his hair, strokes his thumb over the smooth skin on his forehead, and gazes down at him. 

He knows he’s got that dopey smile on his face, that it gets brighter and more intense while Cloud’s flushing and falling into his shyness. 

“W-what?” Cloud mutters, but he can’t look too far away. Stares at Zack’s cheekbone, not quite his eyes anymore. 

Seriously, Zack can’t believe how cute he is. Getting all weird and nervous. He leans down and pulls a kiss from Cloud, along with a tiny little needy whimper. 

Zack loves those. 

“Nothing, you’re just the best,” he says against Cloud’s lips. Gives him some more little wet kisses. 

Until he’s not blushing as hard and he’s able to look into Zack’s eyes again. He’s smothered Cloud enough. Rolls once more so they are both on their sides and pulls Cloud against him. Cuddles him down into his body, his blonde hair tickling his face and his body warm and fitting perfectly in Zack’s arms. 

Cloud needs it, to rid the rest of his bashfulness. He hides his face into Zack’s neck and wraps his arms under Zack’s, up and resting on his back. 

They fall asleep that way. Cloud first, tired from their fucking. 

Zack follows eventually, even though he really does want to just roll Cloud and fuck into him. Show him how happy he is, how fucking lucky he is that Cloud is the actual best to him. 

He falls asleep thinking about being with Cloud, being in him, surrounded by him, of Cloud being inside _him._ Just a bit of a lusty mess and dreams of just them.

Just Cloud. 

***

It’s two whole weeks of the same, relaxed routine. They get up mid-morning, cook breakfast together, and head out into town to do some weird chores for random people Zack doesn’t know, though, all of the older ladies they end up helping coo at Zack and giggle at Cloud’s weirdly possessive grip on him. Leans on him anytime too many people are around them. 

Cloud works on his bike twice a week, shoots Zack sorry eyes the whole time even though it’s quickly becoming Zack’s favorite thing. Ogling Cloud in his old white tank top, getting all greased smudged and face set in a cute focused frown. 

The days after, Cloud and Tifa will drive Zack out to the fields closer to the mountain range, throw a ball at him to catch with his lacrosse stick until late in the evening.

Often, Cloud will slip into the guest room when the night has brought only slightly cooler temperatures. Sometimes they fall asleep pressed close, Cloud always tucking himself in against Zack’s chest. 

On those nights, they’ll quietly fuck. Zack tugging Cloud to him with hunger in his eyes, hold him down against the mattress and rock inside him until he’s shaking and tears trickle from his eyes. Other times, Cloud will come to him with set shoulders and need trembling in his body. Trace along the scar on Zack’s cheek and ask him quietly if he can fuck him this time. It’s so fucking cute every time and Zack can’t say no, no matter how much he wants to fuck Cloud instead. 

The week before they need to head back to ShinRa University, that cold Cloud mentioned when he first got to Nibelheim finally appears. Overnight, it drifts in and wakes Zack in the early hours of the morning. 

Or maybe it’s his phone vibrating on the far side of the bed. Shivers as he has to stick his arm out from the sheets and grab it. It’s Cloud….calling him. Still half in sleep, he answers.

“Cloud?” the cold keeps seeping into the sheets. Zack curls in to try and keep some of the warmth in. 

Slow, deep breaths fill his ear and all the cold doesn’t matter. He sits up, suddenly wide awake and his heart clutches painful when Cloud stutters out his name.

“Z-zack…”

He throws his legs over the bed and quickly pads out into the hallway. Worried Cloud is hurt, why didn’t he just come into the guest room? He has been nearly every night. He gets only halfway down the hall to Cloud’s room when he sees the door open. Not in there then. 

“Where are you, you okay?” Zack whispers into his phone. 

“I…” 

Zack descends the stairs and freezes on the last step. Cloud’s curled up in the large comfy living room chair. Light from the full moon is pouring in from the kitchen back doors, cast rays of faint light over him. He sits up so fast, freezes with wide eyes. His phone drops and Zack can see his handshake. 

“Zack?”

He’s almost looking through him, seeing a ghost that isn’t there. It’s the terror that gets his legs moving. The emotion swimming in Cloud’s eyes; He looks so lost.

“I’m here,” Zack whispers, goes to him, and stops just out of reach, unsure of what Cloud needs. 

“How….how long?” 

His heart thuds sharply again, more painful too. Cloud doesn’t remember him coming to stay. A whole two weeks just dropped out of his mind. He can’t ignore him but telling him, he’s sure isn’t going to help calm him down. 

Gently, he steps closer and kneels down in front of Cloud, placing his hands carefully on the sides of Cloud’s legs. Tries to rub reassuring circles with his thumbs into his skin, but he’s not sure it’s working. Cloud still looks so lost, looking down at him with increasingly staggering breaths. 

Reluctantly, “two weeks,” Zack admits and hates the crumbling, shattered strike that cuts across Cloud’s face. 

“I-I can’t remember,” The panic is dripping in his voice, growing with his labored breathing. 

It’s better though, to calm down, he needs a grasp on time. Without any form of an anchor, he’d just spin out of control. Now, as much as it hurts to see him giving in to his anxiety, he can work back from it too. 

“It’s there,” Zack says, stretching his torso up as Cloud hunches down and falls into his shoulder, “you’ll remember. Let’s just get your breathing better first, okay?” 

Easy steps. Stress can’t be overpowered all at once. Cloud nods against him, lets him maneuver him around, so Zack can place a hand, palm flat, against Cloud’s chest, wrap his other around his back and keep him semi pulled into his body.

Cloud’s already responded to his touches, his closeness. Chest still staggered rising, but his lungs are taking longer breaths, deeper, calming. Zack holds the rhythm in his mind, keeps his own as repetitive as possible, despite his heart racing and he can feel his own frustration. 

So random, Cloud’s episodes, he can’t figure out what might have set it off. It’s frustrating to see. That he can’t help more. 

He has noticed at least, the pattern of panic. It makes it worse, spirals Cloud’s forgetfulness into a bigger issue. He’ll lose one memory, panic over it, and start to forget more from the fear of losing too much. Dangerous looping, causing his episodes to be worse than it initially is.

During the school year, he’d cut it off quickly, and Cloud would be okay for most of the day and regain his momentary gone memories the next day, sometimes by the evening even. 

Zack has missed his chance to do that this time. So, bring him back slow. One step at a time.

He holds Cloud for a while, letting him lean down on him and hide his eyes from him. Whatever he needs and his breathing levels out faster then Zack thought it would. His body stops shaking too. Less tense and his weight all of a sudden falls completely into Zack’s shoulder. 

Loose enough for Zack to pull him around, move to sit into the chair, and haul Cloud into his lap. Wrap his arms around him. He’ll hate it later, being coddled. Takes Zack’s comfort as a form of embarrassment. It’s not uncommon, people with far less trauma react the same. He tries to ignore it and let Cloud overcome it on his own, but it’s hard when Zack is shoving his face in psychology and mental health all year. 

When he thinks Cloud has regained enough composure, he presses a soft kiss to his forehead and whispers against his hairline, “Remember yesterday?”

Slow. Find a starting point. 

“..no..”

“Okay, how about, last week, when we went out to that market just outside of town, with Tifa?”

It’s been the hottest day since Zack had been there and Cloud and been extra summary and smiley that day. Letting Zack bump into him and carrying all of the things Tifa bought without complaint. It was mainly for their dinner that night, but Tifa had bought the first in-season crop of apples to make-

“-cider...Tifa made her mom’s apple cider,” Cloud mutters.

Right. She’d talked about it with misty eyes and Cloud had been extra gentle with her the rest of the week. Didn’t even raise to her normal teasing. 

“Yeah, you remember me being there?” Zack asks him. Just another thing, selective memory. Cloud will focus on the one thing he’s forgetting and remove it from other memories he still had in his head. 

He gets a laugh, so low and small he only feels it in the puff of air against his neck. 

“You..uh, kept leaning on my back at every booth.”

He did, fall all over Cloud just to see his blush deepen under his already flushed from heat face. It was worth it, even when the booth owners would coo at them and Cloud would huff off in irritation. 

It’s enough then. He’s already getting them back. Zack won’t press him anymore. Just needs a start and he’ll heal himself just fine. It’s’ the lack in trust Cloud has, in himself, that hinders his episodes too. Zack wants to ask but, he still feels new, like he hasn’t earned his place in...whatever they are, to push Cloud into therapy, or inquire if he’s seeking help. 

He’s never mentioned it. Maybe he already has and he wants to try without for a while. 

They don’t move. Even the moonlight starts to pick up warmth from the sun rising and the crickets stop and the birds start to chirp. They stay curled around each other in the old worn living room chair. Cloud dosing in and out, calmer every time he’s pulled from sleep. 

It’s only a few hours, Zack doesn’t bother trying to sleep. He had enough to push him through the day. So he stays with Cloud in his arms, cheek on top of his head and zones out. Just enjoys sitting in the quiet and stillness. 

Mild guilt tenses his body when Mr.Lockhart comes down for the morning, spots them with narrowing eyes. But the glare leaves the moment he can tell Cloud’s been in distress. He gets that weariness and sad look parents do when their child is suffering from a long time hurt. Nods at Zack before moving quietly away. 

Tifa comes down maybe an hour later and does the same thing. 

Even with the louder noise in the kitchen and the bright light from the sun finally up, Zack waits for Cloud to move first. It doesn’t matter if his leg is falling asleep or that he has an odd kink in his side. 

It’s not until Tifa’s got nearly everything done cooking that Cloud stirs and blinks up at Zack with clarity and his normal neutral expression. He presses his fingertips to Zack’s jaw scar-like he does when he wants to be inside Zack. It actually makes him blush a little. 

“Better?” Zack asks lowly, instead of zeroing on the sudden heat forming low in his body. 

“Yeah,” Cloud nods, stretches up for a kiss that is way too deep and needy and _fucking-shit_ , Tifa and her father are right across the room. 

Cloud pulls back before Zack can embarrass himself further and do something stupid like start _moaning_. 

They eat breakfast at the little table in the corner that’s been ignored the whole two weeks Zack’s been in Nibelheim. Pressing their knees together and Cloud shooting him warm looks with fluttering lashes. He’s more spacey than normal all day, but he doesn’t fall back into panic or show indication his memories are slipping again. 

In the evening, Mr. Lockhart comes up behind Zack while he’s on the couch with Cloud, curled up at his side, head on his thighs. He places a gentle hand on Zack’s shoulder and squeezes a thanks into his muscles.

He doesn’t say anything either when Cloud drags Zack up to his room at night. 

***

The last night of their summer break rushes at them faster than Zack wants. He’s never wanted to stay out in the middle of nowhere before, glad to have escaped to the city from Gongaga. But now...he knows it’s just cause Cloud is out here, it’s still nice. Seeing him in his element and his quick to teasing and bright laughter. 

It’s given him a determination to get Cloud that way in the city too. Keep him comfortable and confident. 

It’s already dark and later in the evening. The heat from the day whisked away with a night breeze and the chill hanging in the air warns them that autumn is just a few weeks away. It’s cool enough Zack’s pulled on his navy hoodie, after helping Cloud pack up his stuff for the trip back to Midgar tomorrow. 

Weirdly, a sense of ‘oh shit, school’ blooms in him. His senior year, he’s going to be crammed for time the second the term starts. He’s suddenly desperate for summer to last just even an hour longer. 

“Zack,” Cloud’s leaning into his view, hunching in on himself like he’s done something he’s not supposed too. He’s got a cute little grin going. Zack narrows his eyes at him.

“What?” He draws out the ‘A’ and watches Cloud roll his eyes at him. Reaches out and tugs Zack to his feet.

“Let’s go for a drive.”

A drive. They are going to be leaving pretty early tomorrow and it’s already late. He’s not really giving Zack a choice, drags him right out the front door with a shout that he’s taking the truck. Not the bike, Zack’s only seen Cloud test drive it around after working on it. He won’t lie, he’s been wanting to get pressed up against Cloud on it. But, looks like not this summer. 

The ‘drive’ is actually only twenty minutes through town and onto an old dirt road. About a mile down it, Cloud pulls out into the empty fields, drives them out onto the grass and dirt until Zack can’t see the road start or buildings anymore. 

The mountains loom close to them and the forest line isn’t that far, patches of tree clusters scattering near the base. In front of them, just flat fields and open sky, millions of stars glimmer at them. This far north, the light pollution is completely gone. 

Cloud pulls the pick up to a stop and when he shuts it off, the darkness plunges in around them. It’s the darkest Zack has ever seen the night. He can barely make out Cloud next to him. Only from the bright sliver of the moon, can he see the glint of his eyes. 

“To the back,” Cloud says, jumps down from the driver's seat. 

It always makes Zack laugh, he’s got to work to get in and out of the truck while Zack just needs to slide on down in one easy, short glide. The grass is a little damp and soft under his shoes. Cloud turns on the flashlight in his phone, hands it to Zack as he pulls down the hatchback and climbs up into the bed of the truck. He climbs in after him. 

“Geez,” Zack says, noticing the thick blankets unrolled for comfort and a small pack in the corner of the truck, tucked against the back of the cabin, “you just wanna get me alone out here?” He teases Cloud.

“No,” Cloud mutters and Zack doesn’t need light to know he’s blushing. 

Zack laughs and launches himself at Cloud, enveloping him in his arms and against his chest. Fake wrestles with him until they crash down into the bed and Zack lets Cloud twist him so he’s pressed up against the wall of the cabin. 

“Mmmm, I dunno, still seems like this is just for-” 

Cloud darts forward, pressing his lips hard against him, takes Zack’s words from his mouth, and pulls his air from him. The noise as he pulls back is loud and a little obscene. Cloud rests his forehead against Zack’s and leans his weight on him, resting in between Zack’s legs. 

“Shut up, Zack,” he’s still all flustered and no heat in his words. Zack laughs again. 

“Well, why we here on a school night, short stuff,” Zack asks. 

Cloud snorts at him and then pulls out his phone. The screen is blinding in the dark and it illuminates Cloud’s face in odd shadows. Makes his eyes a deep blue. He flips through his screen for a few seconds, even time for Zack to take in his mood. 

He seems a little nervous. Chewing on his lip and only meeting Zack’s eyes for a second before looking away. 

“Look,” he says, showing Zack his phone screen. 

It’s a night schedule with dates of meteor showers for the northern part of the continent. 

“I didn’t have a lot of friends...growing up,” Cloud starts, watching Zack closely.

“Right, ’cause you were a little shit,” Zack teases him and gets a shoulder shoved hard. Zack laughs loudly.

“Shut it,” Cloud growls at him, but he’s got a cute blush on his nose and he’s smiling through his glare.

“Sorry, so what about the meteor showers?” 

He softens, a warm sadness fills his eyes, an old one, “Mom would always let me stay up in the summer to watch them. When she got her pickup...we’d drive out here and watch the whole thing.” 

Now Zack feels like a jerk, making fun of him. He’s sharing a special part of his life with him. Zack resists the urge to fucking hum at him. He’s so sweet and cute in small surprising ways. Zack opens his legs farther and hauls Cloud closer, keeping his arms around his waist and slipping under his shirt to thumb at the skin on his lower back. 

“Cloud,” Zack kisses him, the vulnerability in his eyes is hard to deny, “you being romantic with me?” he can’t help the teasing though. 

“Shut it,” Cloud’s holding back his smile, rolling his eyes like it’s the worst thing, being pressed in close to Zack in the chilly night air. 

He just laughs at him again. ‘Ooph’ when Cloud twists and elbows him in the stomach on the way to cuddling down to his chest. 

“You know,” he just can’t help it. Cloud is the cutest when he’s flustered, “if you wanted to get me out here for some sweet lovin’, maybe don’t only tell me to shut up,”

Knuckles dig into his side, finding the spot in between his ribs that makes him squirm and laugh too hysterically. Cloud relaxes all his weight on him, so he can’t squirm too far from him. Pressed sitting back against the cabin, he doesn’t really have anywhere to go anyway. Just has to suffer through the tickling and dig his fingers into Cloud’s hair to get him to stop. 

They cuddle together, breathless for a little bit, and stare up at the stars. The mountain only cuts a corner of the sky and it’s so dark the arm of the galaxy is just barely visible. 

“In winter, you can see it better,” Cloud mutters, his breath warm against Zack’s jaw, “gets a lot darker out here.”

He wants to see it. The longing in Cloud’s voice tells him it’s another special thing for him. 

An hour goes by before the first meteor skirts across the planet's atmosphere. It’s a light blimp, just a short streak of light that Zack almost misses. Cloud doesn’t, he catches it right away, his breath getting caught in his throat for a second. Warms Zack’s whole body. The happy gasp that comes from him. 

Another two appear fifteen minutes later, and then more and more. Until Zack’s gasping in amazement, just like Cloud. There’s so many of them, it seems almost fake. Constant, one after another. Fills a whole section of the sky at once. Zack keeps waiting for them to fade out, but it doesn’t. Keeps going and shifting until it’s all across the sky, revealing the dome shape of the atmosphere. 

“Holy shit,” Zack mutters, squeezing Cloud’s waist, “this is amazing.” 

“Yeah,” Cloud’s voice is close in his ear. 

He glances down just a smudge, finds Cloud’s blue ocean eyes staring at him like he’s the meteor shower happening above them. Heat pools in his stomach from it and his breathing gets deeper for a whole other reason. 

“Zack…” Cloud’s twisting onto his stomach, sits up and presses their hips together. Leans in for a searing kiss. 

Zack moans into it, pulling his knees up so Cloud can get in close between his legs. He tilts his head, grips at Cloud's jaw, and opens up his lips with his tongue. Their kissing feels hot, chilled by the night air and Zack’s touches start getting more frantic. A fever burning in him, he suddenly can’t have enough of Cloud. He needs more. 

Cloud’s blindly reaching down between them and unbuttoning Zack’s jeans, pulls his zipper down and taps at his hips to get Zack to lift up so Cloud can pull them down a bit. 

“Do you,” Zack nips at his lips, “have any,” pushes at Cloud’s long sleeve henley, “lube?” 

Cloud moans into his mouth, pulls away with a smack, and looks wrecked already. 

“In the bag,” he says, staring down at Zack and pushing his navy hoodie up to show some skin.

Zack smirks, “I knew it, trying to take my innocence all along,” 

Cloud rolls his eyes and flushes a deep pink, he can see it even out here in the dark. Zack waits for the semi-aggressive snip back, but Cloud’s just staring at him with tender embarrassed eyes. 

He reaches out and traces Zack’s scar. 

“You….you’re too nice to me,” he whispers. 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Zack nearly laughs, but it fades all at once with Cloud’s eyes looking away. 

Because he thinks he doesn’t deserve it? Makes Zack mad, that someone down the line made Cloud feel that way. 

“Yeah, well,” he nuzzles against him with his nose, goes for a lighter tone in his voice, “you go to my lacrosse games and pretend you know what’s happening.”

He sees the slow reaction time at every game. Cloud zones out sometimes too, but he always keeps his eyes on Zack, the whole game. Smiles wide at him when he scores, when they win. Lets him ramble on and on and doesn’t fake any interest, even if he still doesn't know all the rules. 

Cloud’s eyes widen like he can’t believe Zack likes him, as if they haven’t been fucking for nearly a full year now, or that they don’t cuddle together every night even if it’s been blistering hot. 

Zack yanks him close for another kiss, rolling his hips up to press their crotches together. Feeling Cloud through his ripped jeans. He’s hard, really _hard._ Fuck, Zack loves it, that he can make him that way. 

He reaches over, feels around for the backpack, and pulls out the lube shoved in the front pocket. 

“Okay, gorgeous,” Zack says, low and lusty and _fuck,_ does he want Cloud so badly, “you gonna deliver and fuck me under the stars? Being all cute and romantic out here.”

He’s teasing him, but the determination set in the lines of his lips is too much for Zack to handle. Makes his heart ache for him and his body shiver. Cloud’s yanking his jeans down some more, enough so he can Zack’s legs spreading over his thighs as he kneels on his knees and leans in to take the lube from Zack. 

Coats his fingers and gets his teeth sinking into Zack’s right earlobe. He gasps, jerks against Cloud and yanks him even closer. Zack can’t stop the moans from his throat as Cloud traces over his ear and nips at his cartilage. It gets Zack hard instantly, aching and gasping. With lusted, shaking hands, Zack reaches down and shoves Cloud’s jeans and boxers down, freeing his hard cock from the fabric. He pulses, twitches in the cool air. 

Cloud’s dipping his fingers under him, slick and probes at his pucker. Sides the lube around his delicate skin before slowly pushing two fingers in him. He’s gotten better at it. Not so careful and worried. Goes right for the knot of nerves in him and strokes in increasingly hard pressured circles. 

“Fuck,” Zack moans into Cloud’s skin, wincing at the sharp bite on his ear. It makes his cock twitch, “you learn so fast, Cloud.” 

He can’t help it, he’s just talkative, the heat makes his mouth run. Tells Cloud how good his fingers feel inside him, how lucky he is that Cloud puts his focus and his need in such a force, all for Zack. 

Cloud’s gained enough confidence to open Zack up quickly. Spreads his fingers in long strokes and narrows them to jab at his prostate until Zack’s holding in moans and his thighs shake around Cloud. 

“Okay, enough, enough. Give me that thick cock,” Zack’s already taking the lube and dumbing a large amount all over Cloud’s flushed cock. Strokes him a few times to spread it and pushes back against the truck cabin so he can lift his hips higher. He fits nicely against Cloud’s hips Zack. Gets his hands on Cloud’s ass to pull him close. It pressed the head of his cock against his entrance and Cloud’s body shakes against his. 

He clutches at Zack’s hoodie, rocks his hips up and pushes inside Zack. 

“ _Fu-ck,_ yeah,” Zack moans, tilting his head back and digging his fingers into Cloud’s ass cheeks, getting him to push in all the way in one slick motion. He fills Zack well, thick and stretches him good so all his nerves pulse with heat. 

Cloud’s watching him, still manages to keep that concerned look on his face, so sweet. Less so now, about hurting him, but more checking to make sure Zack’s having a good time. 

Just can’t stand it. How fucking adorable Cloud is, all the time. It’ll never get old. Zack needs him, all the time. Is quickly becoming his air and the only thing he wants in the world. Zack tightens his muscles around Cloud’s cock, rocks his hips down, and uses the truck cabin as leverage. 

It’s pulling higher moans from Cloud, as he pulls his hips up and drops his weight back down, rolling in at the end and tightening around Cloud. A good slower rhythm, Zack likes it this way. Cloud’s cock is made for it, thick and stretches just right. This way, Zack can feel the growing shocks of pleasure rock throughout his whole body. 

“Touch me, Cloud. Get your fucking hand on my cock,” Zack growls low though a wider hip roll. 

He does, buries his face in Zack’s neck, thrusting his hips in little motions, and grasps Zack’s aching cock between them. He’s trembling and moaning, let Zack decide the pace. Letting him take the lead and rock down onto him. Keeps up with his strokes, flicking his wrist in rolling movements over the head of him. 

“Ah-ah, _fuckin_ , Cloud, fu-ck,” He’s not going to last too long, with Cloud thumbing at the slit of his cock, rubbing at his bundle of nerves inside him with his own. 

He wants Cloud to come with him, he’s hard and leaking inside him, but he’s not as close as Zack is. The lube is still in reach, Zack grabs at it and coats two of his fingers. Spreads Cloud’s ass cheek and prods at him, he’s pressed in so close and with Zack’s long limbs and height, it’s easy to reach around, slide his fingers inside him. Slips them in as he rocks down faster and harder on Cloud’s cock. 

“Mmmm-Ah,” 

Zack laughs, voice rough and stuttering with moans, “there we go, that’s what you needed, huh?” 

Cloud whimpers into his shoulder, his whole body tensing and little thrusts get a bit rougher, meeting Zack’s hips in time with stroking his cock. They are a tangle of limbs and tightly pressed bodies. Rocking and thrusting with an off rhythm. 

But Zack doesn’t want it another way. Cloud feels so good stretching him, hand slick with his precome, and warm around his cock. Even the pressure around his fingers, pushing inside Cloud as he shakes against him, makes him long to be inside Cloud. Adds to his heat building, the pleasure overtaking him. 

They shake apart at the same time, gasping against each other. A wave of aftershocks pushes over Zack as Cloud comes inside of him. Above, the sky is showered in falling stars. 

Cloud collapses on him, slipping out as Zack lazily fingers him through his own afterglow. Waits till Cloud whimpers and reaches back to tap at Zack’s arm. 

“C-can’t...Zack, I’m done.” 

Zack smiles into his hair, the fog lifting from his mind, and the cold air making itself known on their exposed skin. Cloud doesn’t want to move, presses more into his hoodie. He tucks them both back in and pulls their jeans up. Wraps his arms tight around Cloud and thunks his head back on the truck. 

Almost. It’s a close call, out here in the stillness of night and the universe falling beautifully around them. He almost says. Bites at his lips so he doesn’t whisper into Cloud’s hair. 

Love. 

Zack swallows instead, holds Cloud just a tad closer after he shifts to lean back against him, settling between his legs and lays his head back on Zack’s shoulder. 

He can’t tell Cloud. It’s too fast, too soon. 

He hasn’t even told Cloud...why he keeps passing up driving. Why he’s still on probation that he doesn’t even know about. He can’t just admit to falling for him when Cloud has given himself so completely to Zack and he’s done...

Well. He certainly hasn’t shown his secrets. Cloud just collided into his life. Showing up out of nowhere and Zack has always moved too fast. 

He settles for watching the meteors shoot across the sky until the sun starts to peek out from the mountain range.

Squeezing his arms around Cloud’s waist.

***

They only slept a few hours, coming back just as the sun washes away the stars. Zack feels like he only laid down for two seconds before Tifa bangs on his door, shouting for Cloud to get up down the hall. 

A long slow morning, with too much coffee and half-closed eyes. Even loading up the truck with all of Tifa’s and Cloud things seemed extra hard. 

The bike. Cloud’s fucking bike, he tries not to think about how much that knocked the energy out of him. Shoving it up a ramp and onto the last spot in the truck bed. He needs sleep to do that again. 

Zack watches from the truck, leaning against the back, as Tifa and Cloud say goodbye to Mr. Lockhart. Cloud plays it up, his annoyance, but hugs him back just as hard, doesn’t complain at all when his hair gets ruffled one last time. 

A small tingle of nerves pops up, as Tifa and Cloud hop in the truck and Mr. Lockhart comes up to him. Looks him square in the eye and places a strong hand on his shoulder. 

“I don’t know how,” he says in a hushed tone, glancing behind Zack to make sure Cloud’s not paying attention, “but you make him almost as he was before the accident.”

Zack can't see how, Cloud nearly had a meltdown while he was here. Tifa’s said the same to him, too many times actually. She gives him the same look too, that Mr. Lockhart is giving him. 

Amazement, or something like it. Whatever it is, Angeal gives him that look too. It’s a parent look, makes him squirm and miss his own. 

“To be fair,” he says, trying to ignore the weird melancholy itch appearing, “I don’t feel like I do.”

There’s always more he could do, he’s sure. 

“You do. Haven’t seen him smile like that since he was a kid.”

Oh. That...Zack doesn’t know what to do with that either. 

Mr. Lockhart makes a small noise through his nose, soft, and pats his shoulder before shooing him to get in the truck. 

Zack shoves in next to Cloud, crowding in close even though the heat is starting to creep in for a few short hours in the day. 

“Got everything, kids?” 

Tifa rolls her eyes, “yeah Dad, don’t worry. Think we did this last summer too.”

Zack snorts and Cloud hides his smirk. 

“Alright, I see, just wanna get away from your old man,” he teases Tifa.

“B-ye, I’ll call you when we get there, I promise.” 

He slaps the hood of the truck, “Don’t forget, watch out for Mrs-”

“-Formins’ cats, we _know_.”

The truck roars loudly and Tifa’s pulling out the driveway slowly. 

Feels a little weird, driving back to the campus, when he’s so used to just being there all the time. 

He still gets a sort of sad longing, watching the houses pass by and thin out. It grows stronger when they pull onto the highway and it’s just farmlands and trees. Watches the Nibel mountain range in the side mirror. He hadn’t been in Nibelheim long, but. He’ll miss it. 

Cloud nudges him, sticks to his side, and lines their legs up together. 

“What, you don’t wanna leave?” he’s still all freckles and his sunburn has finally faded into the lightest tan Zack has ever seen. But he looks summer fresh, tan lines peeking out from his muscle tee. 

“Nah, I’m good, miss my fancy city apartment.”

Tifa laughs, “oh sure, see if you’re ever invited back now.” 

“Besides,” Zack leans back, takes his eyes off the mirror and drapes an arm around Cloud, “You’re goin’ that way.” 

Cloud flushes and Tifa boos at them, laughter in her eyes. Revs the truck a little and merges into sparse traffic. 

It’s a long drive, but Cloud stays pressed to his side the whole time.

And Zack’s got a whole second school year to keep him there. 

  
  



	2. Sometimes it Hits The Hardest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a bad boy in town. Sort of.....  
> *WARNINGS*  
> Legal things, gang talk, small violence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!! I'm extending this to 3 chapters, cause uhhhh plot. LOL
> 
> Happy Reading!!

Summer ends with a rush of fog and cold and rain. Seems to butt into September too early and stays in the misty rain for days. More than normal and longer into the night. All the way till mid-October. 

Zack hardly notices the days getting shorter and the nights getting longer. All he sees are pages of busy work and the bright screen of his tablet. Spends the hours flying by huddled down into his navy hoodie and knees pulled up to hastily write-down notes in an already stained notebook. The hours he’s not shaking his leg up and down, sitting in a desk and trying to pretend he’s not already falling behind. 

Vaguely, he’ll feel Cloud’s warm body leaning against him on their study dates. Hear his quiet footsteps in his apartment. Notice his shifting on the couch out the corner of his eye. It’s almost every day and he feels bad. His normally sharp focused attention on Cloud completely obliterated by schoolwork. 

Feels even worse when he sees that Cloud’s been bringing him food and hiding it away in his fridge for him to eat later. 

Finds him curled up in his bed. Completely out and looking a little lonely tangled in Zack’s sheets; On his massive bed all by himself. 

He’s finally in the first real clear break for weeks. Mind relaxing and caught up on all his assignments. Managed to organize his notes well enough to study for the midterms quickly coming up. Seems as if he’s just woken up for the first time in weeks. Cloud looks new, like he hasn’t seen him in forever even though Zack knows he’s been right here with him nearly every day since the school year started. 

Could just be the late hours and his heightened senses from all the stress finally easing after rushing for so long. He’s tired, should sleep so his brain will keep working halfway but he’s sitting ever so gently down on the edge of his bed. Cloud’s body curled close to his. Zack can feel the heat from his body. 

He can’t bring himself to shuck his clothes and curl in behind him. Instead, Zack drifts between spacing out and studying Cloud’s soft features too intensely. He’s always on the edge of wanting to overwhelm Cloud with his presence and trying to remain at a normal pace distance. 

The overwhelming is winning out. Especially when Cloud’s the one coming to him so often. Shows up outside his classroom of his last morning class, so they can get lunch together. Ever since they got back to campus, it’s like he’s finally brought Nibelheim with him. He hadn’t expected it, but it warms Zack to think…

Maybe it’s him that’s letting Cloud feel more comfortable. 

He really wants it to be.

Sleep calls him after a long while of running his fingers through Cloud’s hair. Barely shimmies out of his jeans and collapses down against Cloud’s back. 

He wakes to a hard knocking at his door and Cloud sprawled out on top of him, one of his hands tangled in Zack’s hair. With the grip Cloud has on him and the needy inhale he does convince Zack to just stay in bed and ignore whoever is at his door.

Probably Angeal, making sure he’s not killing himself from schoolwork. He can just text him later. Cloud’s warm and Zack’s sure a mild headache is starting to press against his eyes from lack of sleep.

He shifts and nuzzles down against Cloud’s hair, drifting back into a light sleep when the knock happens again.

Louder and more frantic. 

No way is that Angeal. And it’s not Sephiroth. He won’t knock. They both have keys to the apartment, but Angeal’s the only considerate enough to let Zack know he’s headed over. 

Thankfully, Sephiroth prefers Angeal’s house, then this place. 

Otherwise...well Cloud probably wouldn’t be as comfortable with Seph dropping by whenever. 

Another knock.

“Geez, fuck, okay-okay,” He’s mumbling and it doesn’t matter now, Cloud’s rousing too. Blinking up at him with a deep-set frown and groans grumpily. 

“Whs’t’nois?” It’s fucking hilarious, with his bed hair and slurring so bad Zack could say he’s near blackout drunk. Zack grins at him and presses a hard kiss on his cheek. Doesn’t rid the frown. Confuses him a bit more. 

He chuckles about it down the stairs and to the door. Remembering at the last second, as he pulls the door open, he’s just in his boxer-briefs. Whatever, it’s probably just Jessie, it’s not the first time she’s-

-he feels it bubble up from low in his stomach. 

Anger.

It’s not Jessie or Angeal. He’d rather take Sephiroth barging in.

Years, it’s been years since he’s seen him. But the anger is just as strong. Just as cumbersome and blinding. 

Red hair, still in that fucking rat-tail and still the same slim, lanky limbs, slouched lazily. Matches his careless attitude perfectly. Zack’s sure, the lack of caring for people is still there too. 

Fucking Reno.

“Sh-it, man. Fair, you lookin’ good. Not so scrawny anymore huh?” Reno smirks at him. 

He hates it. It’s the same, he’s the same, just a little older, a little taller. 

He feels sixteen and stupid and angry all over again. 

Zack doesn’t bother holding it in. Growls between his teeth and throws a strong punch. He hits air, of course, Reno’s eyes widening and slips to the side just in time.

“Woah, hey, man. Chillax-”

“- _Chillax_. Get the fuck outta here Reno,” Zack’s already out in the hallway, might as well use it to his advantage. He shoves Reno back against the wall, barely restraining himself. 

He can’t believe he found him. All the way from Gongaga, how? Of all places, Midgar is huge and there’s no way Reno’s smart enough to get into ShinRa University. Means he’s come looking for Zack. On purpose. 

No, no way. He can’t get dragged back into this. He’s already pushing it. Straight jumping at Reno. He’s supposed to be better than this. Hasn’t felt this anger in years and it just takes one look to bring it back to him.

“ _Ow-fuck_. Yo, you need to relax. I’m not runnin’ with the gang anymore.”

Zack’s laugh is too bitter and he’s starting to shake with his rage. 

_Anymore._ Ha, what a joke. Reno’s as street kid as anyone can get. He’ll never get out of that life. Just like Zack almost hadn’t. It’s probably what fuels the anger in him, even now, after so long. Like looking in a mirror that was almost his. 

“Yeah fucking right,” Zack has to grit his teeth to keep from throwing another punch, “not with Rufus and his fuck ups, please Reno. I’m not stupid.”

Except, maybe he is. Stupid enough to go from zero to guns blazing in all of two seconds. It’s enough...to get his restrictions re-instated. Maybe even more community service.

Hothead, doesn’t think before he acts. 

If he’s not careful, the University will kick him out too. Angeal barely convinced them to let him stay. Cause he was only trying to do the right thing and it ended up exploding in his face. Just like….before.

It must be him then. If he keeps falling into trouble. 

“I’m serious-will you let go- _fuck_ , you’re still a shit head,” Reno adjusts his jacket and frowns up at Zack, “look, I just thought….you deserve to know.”

“Know what?” He crosses his arms, to keep from maiming Reno’s stupid face. 

He deflates, Reno. Loses all the cocky stance and the glinting eyes. Goes a little pale and sighs. Zack’s only seen him real and raw a few times before. All of them had been when he was scared. Scared they were getting caught for sure this time, or that Rufus would make him do a harder run. 

He looks years younger, the same thin, brittle brat that Zack always looked out for. He hates it.

Hates him. 

“Roche got out, man,” it’s not a joke. He’s not fucking with him. It’s real concern and real fear in his eyes. Bites his lip and rolls his eyes in annoyance at Zack, “you gotta believe me. I’m not here to get you involved again. But Roche managed to get early parole and...well you know.”

He does. He knows too well, has a scar on his left side for it. 

Roche isn’t happy with him. Blames Zack for landing him in jail...and for Kunsel. 

The anger stays in him, but it’s stamped down by a fast surge of fear. 

Fuck. If Reno could find him.

Reno hesitates, but he reaches out and places a rough hand on his shoulder, “I just thought...you deserve to know. After everything and you know, Roche is fucking insane.” 

That doesn’t really help, but Zack remembers. Can still feel the heat and the flames licking at his body. The ache in his side and Kunsel’s shouting. 

Roche’s laugh pushing insanity tones. 

It’s easy to push past the panic. He’s had enough therapy to have a handle on that.

It’s the rage that still lingers and that twinge of fear won’t leave his chest. Most of its veered away from Reno, just lingers in his head. 

He should probably tell Angeal. Just in case. 

Reno gives him a far off stare too similar to Kunsel and teenage times.

“Don’t worry, Fair. You won’t catch me around. Just wanted to give you a heads up,” he pats him once, shoves his hands in his pockets, and trudges down the hallway, “you know,” his voice floats, “you’re the only one that really got out.” 

He knows. Took him a long time too and it’s still coming around to remind him. Zack’s accepted that he can’t change his roots, can’t change what happened. He won’t ever see Kunsel again and he’s not supposed to be miles within Reno and Rude. 

He also knows, he’s much better, climbed out of the rock and the dust. He just needs to keep his eyes on the sky. 

Zack blows out a ragged breath of air, watches Reno slouch off, and turns the corner before he goes back in. Cloud’s standing in the middle of the open layout, still a little sleepy-eyed and frowning with concern at Zack. 

“Everything okay?” Cloud asks, pulled in on himself. Watches Zack with sharp eyes.

His body is still jumping to tensing and relaxing, it’s straining his muscles.

“Yeah, it was no one.”

Cloud’s stare doesn’t believe him and Zack feels like he’s missing something. Didn’t catch a glint or a twitch in his body language. 

“Zack, are you okay? You se-”

“- _I’m fine_ ,” Zack snaps, feels the tension leave his body all at once and he hates that, “It’s nothing,” says it again, more to himself. Just so he can think, maybe...maybe Roche won’t be a problem.

Maybe he’s far enough from Gongaga for that lunatic to stay away. Too much time to have passed that he won’t bother with him. 

His own mind tells him to stop lying to himself but...he’s not ready to deal with it _again._

Deep breath. It’s fine. He’ll tell Angeal and just...keep focusing on school. It clears his head a little.

But then he’s looking into guarded eyes and Cloud’s face is set back to...almost when he first met him.

Shit.

He snapped too harshly at him. 

Moving swiftly, before Cloud gets lost in his thoughts, Zack grips his arms gently. Pulls him in and close. Waits for their eyes to meet longer than a few seconds and thumbs along the cold skin on Cloud’s bicep. 

“Sorry,” Zack manages with less anxiousness, pushes it down. Cloud’s too receptive to it, even if he doesn’t realize it himself, “It’s nothing. Really,” leans down for a chaste kiss.

Disappointingly, it doesn’t rid the walled up shine of his eyes. Throws Zack into spinning without a place to stop. Cloud leans into his body, snuggles down into his shoulder for the heat. He’s relaxed but Zack can’t figure it out. Cloud’s still bothered. Not with Zack’s tone...or rudeness. 

Then what? Zack’s done something and he can’t see what it is. 

***

Halloween comes and goes and Cloud hasn’t been around as much. 

He texts him just fine, still comes by his last morning class. Sits close to him at lunch, so they can share body warmth and the rainy days keep getting colder and colder. 

Still laughs at his dumb jokes and blushes when Zack stares too long at him. When he distracts him with tender touches. 

But he doesn’t stay over as much. Lingers outside Zack’s door like he’s not sure if Zack wants him to come in and study. Even after Zack presses a kiss to his forehead and pulls him in. 

He sits farther from him when they study. 

Is even quieter. He just...somehow doesn’t make any noise at all. 

Leaves in the evening to go back and sleep at his apartment. 

And then...maybe a few weeks after Reno just up and tossed a fear in Zack’s chest that still won’t leave him. Even if he’s trying his best shot at the whole ‘just ignore it and it’ll go away’ angle. 

Then Cloud doesn’t come over at all. Drops Zack off with blank eyes and numbly takes Zack’s press of his lips. 

It takes him until the sun is down and the heat doesn’t kick on in his apartment. The cold sets in and Zack shivers so hard it knocks him from his focus on his notes. Cloud usually turns the heat on, before it gets worse. He’s not here…

All the papers and books surrounding him seem to be too much all of a sudden. Too much clutter, too many words and things to look at. He’ll never absorb it all. Never manage to finish his thesis paper, or pass his finals. His midterms...again...he’s been having trouble focusing. 

If he doesn’t get it together soon. He’ll end up where he started.

Back in Gongaga

Back to shitty tiny apartments and running in the night, heart pounding and things that aren’t his in his hands. 

Everything seems too small and he breaks out into a sweat even in the freezing air. 

Shit. The stress really crept up on him. 

His phone buzzes on the floor next to him.

Jessie: _Okay, that’s enough silent treatment, Fair. What is going on?_

Silent treatment? He swipes through the constant thread he keeps going with Jessie. She’s texted him all week. 

He didn’t even notice... 

Zack: _Nothing, why?_

He gets a picture. 

Cloud’s sitting at the small counter bar at their apartment. Hunched over and wearing Zack’s hoodie. He’s studying, but Zack can see. He’s not focused, dark circles under his eyes. Hair more messed, as if he’s been running his hands through it too roughly. The air around him, if Zack was standing there, he can feel it through the phone. He seems so...sad. 

Seriously, shit. 

Zack pulls up Cloud’s text thread and hates himself a little more. Cloud has been texting him all week. Same as normal. It’s just him. Zack hasn’t answered any of them. He could have _sworn_ he had. 

Jessie’s name pops up, covering the last few texts from Cloud. Asking Zack if he was okay. 

His heart skips too hard. 

Jessie: _Are you guys fighting?_

No. Zack’s just fallen too far into his stress, he hasn’t seen past anything but school and fucking Roche being set back out into the world. He angrily brushes his stubborn strands of hair out of his face. They just irritate him more, come back down to get in his way. 

His hand is shaking. He wishes Cloud was here to hold it and keep him still. 

Damnit. He can see, the whole week clearer-he’s just been a whole mess right from the start. He wants to be back in Nibelheim. The summer was so good to him, Cloud has been so good to him. 

Cloud hasn’t been staying over because Zack’s been too busy freaking out in his own mind. The long stretches of silence. The worried glances and hesitate touches on his arm. On his back. Fuck, Zack’s pretty sure he hasn’t responded to any of Cloud’s attention. Only given his own in a weird, stress numb haze. 

The look. That one weeks ago when Reno had dropped by. It clicks in his mind. 

Distance and uncertainty.

Cloud doesn’t tell him still. When something is too far past his limits. With sex, with Zack’s general hanging all over him. Why would he expect it to be different with his emotions? Cloud hides without meaning too. On purpose, Zack really doubts he’d be able to tell. 

Then. he’s pulling away from Zack, not because of his anger? Because he’s been distant first?

Zack taps his phone-

Zack: _Hey, I miss you, stay the night tomorrow?_

Try for easy, maybe it’s not what Zack is thinking and he’s just been thrown off completely. Misreading things. He watches Cloud type something out, delete it, and then try again. The little dots growing his doubts as they linger on his screen. 

Cloud:.... _you want me to?_

Fuckin’...damnit. Cautious and carefully and Cloud must think that Zack is getting tired of him. 

How...how can he possibly go from too much and too fast with Aerith and then not enough and too reserved with Cloud? A frustrated sting pokes at the back of his eyes. 

Zack: _Yes, always. We’ll talk, okay?_

Probably too ominous and he knows it’s not going to help Cloud’s doubts. He just...fuck. He’s way too wrapped in his head. 

Cloud: _Kay._

Doesn’t do anything to make him feel better. Zack’s shaking just gets worse and he’s numbly clicking around on his phone. Swipes up on Angeal’s stoic face and tries to ignore the stinging in his eyes getting worse. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Angeal’s deep voice usually helps calm him. Sets him on a focused mindset, he always knows how to help him. 

This time, it just breaks the dam Zack hadn’t even seen he’d put up. He doesn’t mean for it, but the second he opens his mouth, a broken half sob-half sigh comes out. 

“Angeal...shit,” Zack grits his teeth and his vision blurs. Watches his tablet swim in and out of focus. 

He hears wrestling in his ear and Sephiroth’s soft murmur in the distance.

“Okay, it’s okay Zack. What’s going on?”

What’s going? How about, he’s behind on all his class. Reno just up and threw him back into his past he’d gotten so well at ignoring. Ripped that right off and now he can’t stop seeing Roche’s sandy hair in half the turns he makes. Keeps feeling the ghost heat of the fire and hears Kunsel’s yelling when he doesn’t keep his mind busy. 

And now...he’s pushed Cloud away without realizing he had. He doesn’t know what to do about any of it. He...

Can’t. 

“I can’t...I can’t do this Angeal,” that’s right. He can’t keep up with all of it at once. The sudden shock that he’s just been in a bubble for the past two months. He’s better than this; has been anyway. 

“Can’t do what, pup?” Angeal’s voice is softer, tone similar to the one he used the first year after Zack’s parents died. 

“I don’t know,” he chokes out, tears finally dripping from his flooded eyes. 

The admission, for some reason, makes him realize. He’s been bailing on early lacrosse practice. There was one planned tonight and here he is, breaking from stress and freezing in his apartment. 

Angeal’s talking to him, low and keeps soft inflections. Zack doesn’t pick up on any of it but slowly, the tension in his shoulders leaves, and the tears on his face slow. Gets some of his vision back from the blurriness. He can breath better. Deeper inhales that help calm him. 

“Roche is out on parole,” Zack mutters. It’s the first thing in his mind. He hasn’t been honest with himself. He’s scared.

He can handle Roche, but the repercussion if he does, it’ll destroy everything he’s worked for. One more mess up, the judge had told him, and no more leniency. 

Hearing the stillness wash over Angeal through the phone is odd, but it drifts through all the same.

“You’re sure? I haven’t been notified.”

Right, since he’s his lawyer. Still….why would Reno lie?

“...Reno showed up-”

“-son of a bitch, Zack, you aren’t supposed to be talki-”

“- _I know_. He just showed up out of nowhere, Angeal.”

“Okay, just. Don’t panic. I’ll look into this. And for fuck’s sake, don’t punch anyone.”

There’s a small hint of laughter in his words and he doesn’t seem alarmed. Maybe...Zack is just overreacting then. He’s not alone, he’s got friends, Angeal. Hell, even Sephiroth would help him. 

And Cloud...Zack hopes he hasn’t fucked up too bad with him. 

He still laughs with that thought in his head, “Yeah...I’ll try not to.”

Angeal sighs, “I’m serious, don’t stress over this. That restraining order is still in effect. Focus on school.”

Easy to tell him that, but he’s still right. The longer he talks with Angeal, the more it sinks in. Finally does push away his nerves over Roche. Sitting and worrying if he might show up or not to mess with him doesn’t do him any good. 

He still needs to find a way to get a better handle on his school work. His last year, he needs to do well. It’s just...well no one really told him how much work it’s turning out to be. He doesn’t want to cut out lacrosse, but if he can’t even pass his finals. There won’t be a choice. 

And Cloud, He wants to text him again, but by the time he gets off the phone with Angeal, it’s late in the night. Cloud has an early morning class, but it’s Friday and Zack can go meet him mid-day. They both only have half days and usually, it ends up being their study date night. 

He barely sleeps. Misses Cloud’s warmth and jerks awake too often. 

In the morning, he misses Cloud and his hoodie. A thick fog blankets the campus. All the dew from the night lingers on the grass, the sidewalk. The air is crisp and fresh, melts into his body, and stays with him throughout his two classes. 

He doesn’t get much out of them, his professor’s voice is too quiet and monotone to keep his attention. He’ll have to make up for it later, it’s half the reason he’s so behind. Too sleepy and bored in class. If his nerves hadn’t suddenly come rushing back at him, he’d feel the stress building again. 

The fog hasn’t lifted when he gets out, makes it feel early in the morning despite the rush of lunch hours buzzing around him as he heads across campus to wait for Cloud. It starts to drizzle as he pulls open the door. Inside the building, the cold has seeped in too. Grits at Zack’s teeth and his bones. 

The wait is only a short fifteen minutes, but Zack’s anxiousness makes it seem hours. Every minute is too long and he checks his phone too often. Runs his hands through his hair one too many times and bites at his short nails. 

He really needs to calm down. It’s just upsetting that he didn’t notice his absent-mindedness for so long. A small swirling storm of guilt when nothing that bad has actually happened. As if he’s been fighting without the actual fight. The classroom door bursting open causes him to jump. Startles him from his place against the hallway. It’s a lecture class, large groups of people swarm out. The chatter is loud; excitement and exhaustion all mingling at once. 

Zack picks out Cloud immediately among the crowd. Always drawn to him. He’s still wearing Zack’s hoodie, has the hood pulled up over his blonde hair. His shoulders are slumped with more than just the weight of his backpack slung over a single shoulder. The dark circles under his eyes look even worse than in the picture Jessie sent him. 

That guilt storm just gets bigger. 

Zack twists his way towards him, not wanting to wait for the crowd to clear.

The surprise widening of Cloud’s eyes when he spots him stings. It also pulls him to rush, hands going up and slipping around Cloud’s jaw without a ‘hello’ murmured. Zack goes right in, pulling Cloud’s lips towards his and kisses him hard. Tries to apologize in advance. 

Cloud’s small, high, ‘mmhm’ gets lost in the shuffling and talking around them but he smells like that hazelnut latte he gets every morning and tastes a little sweet.

Someone bumps into them, nudging Cloud closer into his body and Zack laughs against his lips. 

“Hey,” the confusion in Cloud’s eyes stings too. 

He’s not pulling away. Keeps Zack’s gaze and isn’t tense under his touch. There’s a weird sense about him. If Zack didn’t know him, he’d say he’s fine. But he does know, he knows him well. The pressure of his touch, the taste of his lips, the meaning of his breaths. 

Not mad or hurt. No mild irritation that never seems to leave the line of his lips or the rolling of his eyes. Cloud is just off, something is bothering him. 

Zack’s not sure if he’s relieved or wishes Cloud was mad at him. He’s clearly not. Not with the way he leans in and snakes his arms around Zack’s waist. 

He feels cold and empty, a thin layer of happiness, and ‘everything is fine’ wraps all of it in his chest. 

It’s weird, It’s been a weird year so far. Zack hates it.

He wraps his arms around Cloud’s shoulders for a few seconds and squeezes him close. Pulls away while sliding his hands down his arms and links their fingers together.

“Study with me today?”

Cloud nods, a little smile on his lips. Chases away a chunk of Zack’s worry. 

He keeps one of their hands linked together during the walk back. Tugs Cloud close to share some of his body warmth. The misty rain and the fog keeps them company. 

Zack’s just getting his shoes kicked off when Cloud speaks into the quiet of his apartment. 

“Zack,” he knows that tone, skittish. 

“I’m sorry,” right to it. He wants this better. Wants Cloud crashing in his bed and leaning on his side as they bore information they won’t ever use into their heads. 

“Mmh?” Cloud didn’t expect it? Why? He must feel some irritation at Zack. 

“For being distant, lately. I get like that...with stress. I’ll try to manage it better,” 

No, the crestfallen look on his face. Zack’s making this worse. Then what, Cloud’s not bothered with his aloof behavior? Zack’s still missing something then. Great. 

“It’s fine,” Cloud mutters, drops his backpack onto the floor, and holds his eyes downward.

Clearly it’s not. 

Zack watches Cloud shift through a few emotions before he bites his lip and looks up at him with hard eyes. 

“Will you tell me why, this time?” He asks. He doesn’t move out of the doorway. A test then. Seems like he’ll leave if Zack answers wrong. 

Tell him what? Why he’s stressed? Cloud doesn’t need to worry about that. Zack doesn’t want him to have to deal with it and his own. He’s got enough of it already, pushing him in to bad days and bouts of forgetfulness. 

“Cloud-”

“-I know nothing about you,” Cloud snips. Zack reels back from it, “Why do you keep everything from me? Because I’m…” he trails off, but his anger still shines in his eyes.

Broken. He was going to say because he’s broken. 

Oh boy. Zack really did mess up. It’s funny. Aerith always hinted at him for oversharing, for being too much and coming on too strong. 

And here Cloud is. Hurt and looking so lost because Zack’s been holding back. Indirectly, he’s made Cloud think it’s his own fault. 

He can’t help the laugh that escapes his chest. Winces at the flash of hurt and anger in Cloud’s face. 

Miscommunicating. Zack can’t believe he didn’t see it faster. Seems to be a theme with them. 

“Cloud,” the cold and the quiet won’t let him speak too loudly. Calls for a low tender voice and careful touches. 

He walks back over and takes his hand, drags him behind him. He sits against the arm of the couch, tugging Cloud down to slip between his legs and lean against his chest. 

He’s still got the too large hood pulled over his head. Zack tugs it down, smiles at the bounce of his hair springing back into its unruly structure. It only makes Cloud’s annoyed pout even cuter. He cups his face so he can’t look away when Zack tells him. 

“I’m not keeping things from you because of your coma trauma,” he wants Cloud to see the sincerity in his eyes. 

“Okay.”

Zack hopes this hasn’t undone all the bonding over the summer they did. He’s ready to work extra hard to regain it though, if it does. 

“It’s a lot and I hate talking about it, but I’ll tell you.” 

“Wait,” Cloud’s fixated on the hate part then, “I... I know. I hate talking about the accident and…”

He zones out a little, blinks at Zack too long, and gets a bundle of tears in his eyes.

He’s having an off day. 

“It’s okay,” Zack leans forward and kisses his cheek, thumbs over the spot softly, “I want you to know.”

Cloud nods. Seems to clear the fogginess from his eyes. 

“Get ready to hate my voice after this,” Zack teases him. Earns him a laugh and he knows then, it’s fine.

Just he’s being dumb again. He’s really got to knock that off. 

“That’s impossible,” Cloud says so quietly. He didn’t expect it, his heart thumps and fills with affection. Fucking...god, Cloud just pulls out the tenderness and the sweetness at random times. 

He wants to shove him back onto the couch, get his lips slipping against his, and show him how much he can’t stand being without him. 

Later…

“Aerith and I...were a thing,”

Cloud nods, “I know.” 

“Right...it didn’t end great. I was too pushy, about everything. Not to scare you, but I fall pretty hard. I know Jessie’s warned you at least...probably Biggs too.”

Cloud gets an even more tender smile on his face and Zack can feel a fire starting in his stomach. It’s not the time, he can’t believe he’s getting turned on by Cloud’s attentiveness and understanding. 

Pathetic then too. That’s what he is.

“They might have.”

“I really like you,” Zack has to bite his tongue, to keep from tackling Cloud back onto the cushions. That fucking smile, it’s too happy and eager, “So, I’ve been trying not to do the same mistakes I made before.”

Overwhelming and too much. All his life, he’s heard that. Except from Angeal and….hopefully Cloud. From the look he’s giving him. 

“I don’t mind….that you are,” Cloud’s still talking slow, like he’s forgetting to answer him.

That’s fine. Zack doesn’t mind either. That Cloud is a little hard to talk to. 

Zack laughs, “okay, cool. That’s the easy part.” 

“Hmph?” 

“When my parents died, I did some stupid things,” All at once, tell him about the stupid little gang Rufus ran and the stealing and the fire.

Kunsel and Roche. 

And then the incident that took most of his freedom and landed him on academic watch for his whole four years at ShinRa University. 

Cloud shifts against him. Pulls back to sit criss cross and rests his hands on Zack’s thighs. Stares at him intently with a focused pursing in his lips. 

“It’s...involved and I’ll tell you more if you want. But basically I was in a street gang,” not really that’s just what Rufus and Reno and Rude all liked to call it. They were just a bunch of dumb kids trying to get away with whatever they could, instead of trying to heal from whatever that shithole place Gongaga did to them. 

“Okay,” Cloud says, eye him like he thinks he’s lying.

“We did a lot of stupid shit. Mostly stealing, my buddies, Roche and Kunsel, liked to steal from the auto place across town. From old cars on the side of the road. Kunsel did for the money, so he could sell it and help his parents pay rent and for food. Roche...I don’t know why. He’d use the parts, fix up this old motorbike he had, but most of the time. I think he just liked the rush and went with Kunsel cause we were all friends.”

“Why did you?” Cloud asks. No judgment in his voice, just honest curiosity. 

Zack doesn’t have a real answer, he’s still not sure why. He was just so...

“Anger, I guess. Something to do that helped ease it. I dunno, like I said. I just did stupid shit,”

Cloud hums at him again, familiar with his answer. He may have not done the stuff Zack has. But Cloud knows that anger too. The endless frustration of unfairness. 

“One night, maybe a few months after I started hanging out with them, we went to this little mom and pop auto place, it was new and on the edge of town. Roche wanted some parts for his bike and...well, Kunsel and I were just bored. So we all went. One of the owners was still there, caught us, and Roche just….lost it.”

He can see it, in his head. As if it were happening right now. The darkness of the small place, the fear in that little old man’s voice. Roche panicking. He had been on edge all night, too stressed from….well just living in Gongaga. When Zack looks back on it, it’s hard not to see how mentally broken Roche was. Even before they were roped into Rufus’s little steal and run scheme. Reno had sold them well on it. Earn good money, for hardly any work. Get whatever you want.

Kunsel heard food and his parents. Zack just wanted anything to get rid of the numbness.

But Roche...he heard glory and danger and payback in Reno’s sell. Heard that he could profit while he gave Gongaga back what it had done to him.

“He panicked...pulled a knife on the guy. Kunsel and I tried to get him to back off, but...I don’t know how I didn’t see it. He was too in deep by then,”

The hard part now. Zack feels tears prick at his eyes and Cloud...so sweet, reaches up and traces his scar. Encourages him. 

“It’s kind of a blur, it just happened so fast. Roche got really mad at us, he stabbed Kunsel in the leg, slashed my face, nicked my side too,” the scars...he hates them. No one ever asks him how he got it, because it’s cleaned up well, healed to his advantage, and just makes his looks more...unique. 

All he sees when he stares at it is Kunsel choking up blood and Roche’s fear-fueled insanity. 

“I’m not sure how, but a fire started. Roche had gone for the owner, after he’d injured us. I just remember feeling the heat and seeing the flames after my face stopped stinging so bad.”

“Zack…” Cloud’s tone is off. But there’s still no judgment.

“I went to help Kunsel, left Roche in the building. Someone must have called the cops, they were there when I managed to drag him outside. It was all over the news. That whole place burnt down and we were arrested. Well...Roche was. The owner, I dunno, must have felt bad for Kunsel and I. He said we tried to stop Roche, and that the fire wasn’t our fault.” 

Cloud’s leaned in, presses his lips against Zack’s when he falls quiet. He tries to rid the stinging in his eyes. He misses Kunsel and Cloud’s lack of judgment is refreshing. Zack’s really lucked out with him. 

“What happened?”

“I got slapped with a misdemeanor, and Angeal-you saw him over the summer, he’s a lawyer. He took me in when my parents died. Along with the owner’s lack of will to press charges against me and Kunsel, Angeal got me outta any jail time. A heavy fine and a record, with a year of community service, but...that was it. I got lucky.” 

“Roche?” Cloud says his name as if he knows it. He must have heard Reno from a few weeks ago. Zack had left his door open and they had been shouting. 

Of course...of course, Cloud felt hurt, probably heard it all, and wanted to hear it from Zack before he made any assumptions. 

“Right to prison. All of the blame fell on him. We were all sixteen, they tried to get him on trial as an adult, but. It was pretty obvious, he was totally lost. Had a mental breakdown before his first court date. I...don’t know after that. Angeal slapped a restraining order on him, on the others too.”

All of them, Reno, Rude, Rufus...even Kunsel. Though...Kunsel’s parents didn’t want Zack around him anymore either.

They moved after Kunsel got out of the hospital. Zack wasn’t even allowed to say goodbye to him. He hopes he’s doing okay. Got out of the hell hole of poverty like he has. Some days, he itches to go and find him. 

He never does. It’s all behind Zack, it’s his past. He’s got no right anyway. 

“Is that who was at the door...a few weeks ago?” Cloud asks. He’s still up in Zack’s space. It’s comforting. 

“Nah, that was just Reno. He was in our dumb little ‘gang’ too, but. All the real shit happened between me, Roche and Kunsel,”

“What did he want then?”

“....Roche is outta jail, he was warning me.”

Cloud’s whole body goes tense and he jerks back, eyes bright and swimming with worry.

“Warning you? Are you in danger?”

He really hopes not. Angeal had said, don’t focus on it. He’s trying not too. The concern Cloud has for him helps. Touches at his heart deeply. 

“Uhh-let’s hope not,” Zack chuckles with uncertainty. 

“Zack!” Cloud punches his shoulder, “it’s not funny.”

It’s a little funny, “I mean, Angeal said he’s going to handle it. I know Roche is pissed, there’s no way he doesn’t blame me.”

“I won’t let him touch you.”

Zack laughs, the earnest expression on his face. So sweet, doesn’t know shit about Roche. What he looks like, how insane he really is, and Cloud’s ready to fight him for Zack. It’s not helping the tight heat that’s still low in his stomach. It’s just making it worse. All this sincerity and protectiveness from Cloud. 

Zack’s fallen way too hard. After this, he’s never letting Cloud go. It scares him a little. How intensely he feels for him. 

“Uh, thanks, short stuff,” Cloud huffs at him, “I was worried about it before, but Angeal’s right. It’s better if I don’t think about it. It’s not like Roche knows where I am and it’s been a long time. So…”

A silence falls over them. They stare at each other for a long while and Zack feels exhaustion come over him.

There’s still the incident from two years ago.

“You said...over the summer before you came to Nibelheim. You said you got your freedom back,” Cloud says, still tracing over the scar on his jaw. 

“Yeah….that’s kinda long too. I got into a fight, at a frat party. Jessie had brought a freshman with her and she got way too drunk. Some of the frat guys were bothering her and she didn’t know anyone but me and Jessie. Plus, those guys were fuckin’ assholes.”

He says in a rush. He’s getting emotionally drained and he really just wants to get all over Cloud. Get lost in his body. Touch has always helped him relieve stress and turmoil. 

He also needs to study. He blows at the strains of hair in his face. 

“So, what you punched them?”

More serious than that. Zack was lucky that half those guys didn’t even know how to fight correctly. 

“Yeah, you could say that. I ended up with a broken arm and a bad shiner for nearly a month.”

“Damn, Zack.”

He laughs again, “Hey, at least those fuckers got kicked out. Worth it, I’d kick their asses again. It was more than just that one night anyway. The frat had problems with them for a while. Just no one did anything about it.”

“Except you, huh?” Cloud smirks at him.

Zack shrugs, “probably shouldn’t have pushed it so far. They pressed charges against me. Even though the school expelled them and they got arrested too.”

Attempted sexual assault, giving alcohol and drugs to minors, property damage to ShinRa University. It was an endless list when things started coming out. The school only let Zack stay because Angeal pointed out that Zack stopped them, blew the lid on everything they had been doing for a while. 

Assault and battery were his own. An adult record to go with his kid record. 

“Angeal got me out of it again, but I think the judge didn’t like me too much. Cause of my record as a kid. I had to do community service for nearly two years, fines, and they restricted my movements. Took away my license.”

Cloud snorts, “for standing up to assholes?” 

Zack smiles. It’s so endearing, Cloud’s aggressive need to stand up for him. 

“You should’ve seen them...I was a little excessive.”

Cloud huffs again, annoyed _for_ him. So sweet. 

“Wait...is that why you wouldn’t drive in Nibelheim?”

Zack’s whole body goes with his laughter this time, “Ye-ah. Still got a few months left of that punishment. You know, that night you called me and asked to come to stay, it was the day my restrictions got lifted.” 

“Mm, lucky,” Cloud says.

Zack beams at him; feels a rush of affection too strong to contain, “yeah, I’ve been getting pretty lucky lately.” 

The blush blooms so quickly on Cloud’s face and he hunches in on himself, “shut up,” he shoves at his shoulder again, but there’s no strength behind it. 

He launches himself from the couch arm, finally tackling Cloud down and pins him with his whole body. Lets him wiggle under him for a bit before stilling him with a deep kiss.

Pulls back to ask, because it is gnawing at his mind, “so, did I scare you off?”

Cloud laughs, unexpectedly, “what, cause you’re a little hot-headed and aren’t passive when people get hurt? No way.” 

The ‘I think I like you even more’ lingers between them and a weight lifts off Zack. 

Still has a ball of stress hanging on somewhere, but with Cloud warm under him and smiling wide, like in Nibelheim, Zack thinks he can handle it.

***

A week goes by before Zack gets rid of that pesky after fight feeling. The one that feels cold in the center of his chest and he feels embarrassed every time he thinks too hard about how unnecessary half that was. Probably all of it actually. 

Cloud’s way too good to him, he knows for sure now. Falls right back into step with him. Comes and picks him up from class for lunch again. Starts staying over and studying with him. Hell, Cloud even took all his notes hostage one night and re-arranged them all and typed them up so it made more sense to Zack.

“How’d you do that?” Zack asks him, grabs his wrist, and yanks him down to the floor.

“Hm. You’re a visual learner, like me. So I just rearranged everything in smaller sections and _clearly_ labeled categories,” He’s teasing him. That tone betrays the frown on his face, “now lemme up, I have to finish my research project,” 

“Mmm, nope.” Zack tightens his arms around Cloud, shoves his face down into his own hoodie Cloud keeps stealing, “you’re warm.”

Cloud sighs, “turn the heat on.”

“I wouldn’t have too if _someone_ didn’t keep taking my hoodie.”

There we go, that’s the blush Zack was looking for. 

“Don’t you have lacrosse in twenty minutes,” Cloud mutters.

 _Shit._ He completely forgot. Biggs has already yelled at him for missing the last two of their ‘unofficial’ practices. 

Zack scrambles up, untangling their limbs and knocking over his psyche books. It’s good he doesn’t live that far from the sports fields in the middle of campus. He makes it with just enough time to quickly throw his shoulder pads on and slip his helmet down. Biggs eyes him as he jogs out onto the field.

“You forgot,” he says with a knowing smile.

“Nuh-uh, I’m on time,” and was completely distracted by Cloud. 

“Sure, _barely_. Cloud’s still at your place, Jessie’s been texting him all night about borrowing his sound system. You. Forgot,” Biggs tosses a pair of gloves at him, “get in the goal, lover boy. Late people get to guard the net all night.”

Ugh, he hates goalie. He wants to be upfront and knocking shoulders with people. Gets out more of his aggression. 

It’s just their winter practices anyway. They don’t even do too many mini-matches and plays. Just drills and warm-ups, to keep up with their skills and their stamina. So he sucks it up and hangs in front of the netting. Catches nearly every throw for the first half hour and then starts taunting his teammates for the next. They are just running through the drill half-hearted. 

It gets to maybe half of them. Zack only has to lunge a bit farther to catch all their tosses. This is why he hates goalie on winter practices, he’s just a ball fetcher. 

Biggs wasn’t kidding, he does stay in the goal the whole time. Even when they do their mini-match at the end for the last fifteen minutes. Gets yelled at (good-naturedly) by half his team to stay put. Rude. He’s itching for more movement. More speed. 

He doesn’t get it, so he jogs the whole way home. Does a lap or two around his neighborhood before buzzing in and heading up the stairs. His place is dark when he shoves in and drops his lacrosse stick in the corner by all the shoes. 

Cloud had picked up. Stacked all his books and his tablet on the table, instead of leaving them strung across the living room floor like Zack always does. Left a sticky note on top of his worksheet due tomorrow.

- _You forgot to finish the last two questions, dummy._

All filled out. In pencil, so Zack can go back and rewrite it in his handwriting.

He yanks his shirt jersey off as he heads to the bathroom. Leaves his sweaty clothes in a pile to wash them later. A quick wash down and he feels his exhaustion seep in from the day. Wraps a towel around his waist and clicks off the lights.

He’s ready to crash, climbs the stairs slowly, and yawns quietly as he reaches the top. 

All of it leaves him, at the sight of Cloud arching on his bed. Body under the covers and gasping quietly, lashes fluttering, and his legs spreading. The sheets dip in the space between them. His twisted back shoulder tells him, he’s pressing fingers into himself.

Zack inhales and his cock fills instantly. He’s never seen Cloud touch himself. Makes his breathing shallow and he craves more. All aches in his body and his tiredness gone, Zack drops his towel. Silently pads over to the bed and dips down to sit beside Cloud. He watches, Cloud hasn’t realized he’s back. 

Arching and twisting to find the right angle. Zack throbs at the gasp ripping from him. 

His voice is thick when he speaks, “think I can get at the right spot for you.”

Cloud’s eyes flutter open with his next gasp. Locks eyes with Zack and shutters. The sun is just barely still hanging on, casting a pale, dim light from his wall of windows. There’s no harsh shadows or sunrays, just softness of almost dark washing over Cloud’s pale skin and the sheets. 

“You’re back,” he’s not descended into a stutter, but he’s taking heaving breaths. His eyes are blown wide and dark. 

Zack leans over him, pulls the sheets away, and grazes his fingers across Cloud’s stomach. Stares as the muscles twitch under his light touch. The small jump his hard cock gives, curving along his hipline. He skips over his cock, taps at his hip bone, and runs two fingers down, curving in along his thigh.

Cloud spreads his legs more, slipping his feet flat and lifting his whole upper body. Whimpers at Zack when he ever so lightly touches his twitching pucker. He’s slick, feels like half the fucking lube bottle. Slowly, Zack twists his wrist up, pushes his index and middle finger at the tight ring of muscle. Cloud’s stretched already too, lets him in so easy. 

His thighs fall open and moans as Zack reaches up and drags the pads of his fingers down, teasing the stretched skin with a wide pull apart of his fingers. It’s intoxicating, the twitching in his body every time. The roll of his eyes as Zack pushes back in and curls his fingers over and over. Faster until Cloud’s lifting his hips higher off the bed to try and ease the pressure.

“A-Ah, Zack, s-stop, I don’t wanna-”

Too much, he’s wound up. Zack presses inside him one last time as he pulls his fingers out.

“Want me inside you?” Zack’s painfully hard so quickly. Watching Cloud squirm and grasp at the sheets is too tempting. 

“Mmm-yeah,” he’s got the dazed glossy eyes already. Numbly reaching out for Zack to come in closer. 

He flips him instead, eases him stomach down onto the mattress, and covers his body. Shields him in and stares at the line of his spine as he grasps his cock and presses inside him.

Moving in him slowly, savoring the tight heat of his body. It feels different this time. More...everything. With no room for any kind of obscenity or laughing. More serious and sensual and solidifying. 

Zack thinks he can feel Cloud’s heartbeat through his skin. He’s shaking under him, hips pressing back and rocking into Zack’s trusts. Clutching tightly at the sheets. 

Zack leans forward, pushing in more, and slides his hand over Cloud’s forearm. Traces the large veins under his skin along the way. A map for him to follow and tangle his fingers with Cloud’s, grazing over his knuckles, fitting in between his fingers to curl and hold tight. Grasping onto him, a silent tender confession. His touch easing his shaking and keeping Zack grounded.

If he lets go of him, stops holding his hand, Zack’s afraid he’ll fall apart from all the tight emotion building in him. He’s never felt so much of it, so overwhelming. He’s been holding back since…

Probably since the start. Halloween, last year. Maybe even the moment Cloud turned in the rain, eyes so blue and _lost._ It had taken Zack’s breath away and shoved a need to shelter him all in one heartbeat. 

“N-ngh” Cloud arches some more, a slow bend in his back that lets Zack slip inside him even deeper. 

He’s gasping out slow needy breathes, soft small moans rounding out each one. All sweet and settling into Zack’s chest so warmly, he can’t ignore it anymore. 

He shoves forward, covering Cloud with his body. Rolls his hips; his cock slipping so well inside his hot, wet body. Zack gasps out with Cloud, tightens his grip, fingers squeezing until both their knuckles are white. 

It’s the sigh of his name from Cloud. 

“ _Zack_.”

He’s never heard his name said with such need and warmth, complete trust in him. Complete surrender to his control. 

Unwavering certainty in Zack, that he’ll keep him from harm. Keep him safe and loved. 

It finally breaks him. 

“I love you,” barely gets it out with his moans. Hips stuttering against the curve of Cloud’s ass. 

The force of his words shuttering through his body. His admission, quiet and lost in their gasps and groans. Zack turns his head from Cloud’s shoulder, presses against his temple, and slides their holding hands inward. So he can crowd around Cloud even more. 

He’s good for him, good _to_ him. Tilts his head back so their cheeks slide together and Zack can hear Cloud’s moans before they leave his throat. 

Breathing

Thrusting

Pleasure building.

Their movement down to the flexing of their fingers, all in time together, moving as one. 

Zack never knew. He had never felt complete until now. 

The stillness of the night is heavy around them, enhancing their quiet moans into louder, desperate sounds. Only grows the feeling of _them._

Their bodies move faster, the end coming close for the both of them. Zack reaches down, takes Cloud’s cock in his hand, and strokes just as hard as his thrusts, just as fast. Somehow, Cloud bends more, neckline taught and head falling back onto Zack’s rounded down shoulder. He hears the struggling in his voice. Feels his body tense, has one massive shake before he gives in to the pressure in him and comes. 

Cloud’s squeezing around Zack, _hard_. Pulling him into his body and shocking Zack into his orgasm. It’s fast and Zack comes, nearly blacks out, and he knows he’s crushing Cloud down into the mattress. He just can’t bring himself to pull out, feels too warm and tight, and connected.

He feels so close to Cloud like this. Feels every tremor in his body, hears every breath, every rustle of movement. Eventually, he can’t stay in him. When he’s finished coming and he softens, he slips out of him and Zack rolls them. Drawing Cloud close. 

Clearly, as he’s staring up at his high ceilings, he realizes he’s told Cloud he loved him in the middle of sex. He doesn’t regret it, doesn’t feel embarrassed. Just...shit, Cloud is not Aerith, he knows.

He doesn’t want to push him away. Logically, he knows he’s overthinking this. They’ve been together for a while now. 

He just...it had hurt, so much with Aerith and he can’t really think too long how important Cloud has become to him. It’ll hurt ten times as bad if he loses him. 

He hopes, a little, that Cloud didn’t hear him, too lost in passion. 

“Di-Did you tell me….” Cloud’s leaning up, pushing himself to hover over Zack with a still trembling arm. 

Or not. 

He debates, for all of three seconds, to just bail, deny he said anything. But Cloud’s eyes are swimming into view, wide and glossy. Still like the night, almost if he’s thinking if he moves Zack will push him away. 

He’d never do that, but it is the look in his deep blue eyes that suddenly flips a switch. Helps him see everything clearly; Cloud’s habit of lingering close to him no matter where they are. His face lighting up even when Zack’s been with him all day but turns his sole attention on him. The soft way he calls Zack’s name in the morning or at night….or all the time.

Asked him to come to stay with him.

Never misses one of his games.

Fucking...he wanted to fuck Zack solely on the fact to make Zack feel how he does. Oversensitive and shaking apart...because that’s what Zack does for Cloud. 

_Fuck._

He’s not like Aerith at all. How many times is he going to realize this? 

Zack smiles so wide it’s hurting his cheeks a bit, “tell you that I love you? Yeah, I did.”

A sharp inhale and Cloud’s face blushes more than when Zack is whispering kinky shit in his ear. He’s getting more flustered by the second and then has a mini panic attack flash across his face.

Cloud smashes his face down into Zack’s shoulder, rocking his whole body back into the pillows. Zack laughs, envelopes him in his arms tightly. It’s fine. He knows Cloud is shy and he’s noticed, Cloud has a hard time dealing with serious emotions. Must overwhelm his mind easily. He takes longer to respond if he does at all. 

He doesn’t need to hear it from him. Zack sees it in his body language, in his actions.

Took his dumb brain long enough to notice. Cloud’s been telling him he loves him for so long. 

He feels him mumble into his skin, “me too,” barely reaching his ears. 

Giddiness bursts in him and he shimmies against Cloud until he’s digging his fingers into his side to get Zack to stop. He laughs brightly against Cloud’s ear.

“You don’t know what you’ve just admitted too.” He warns Cloud. Holding back. This whole time, Cloud’s going to really be scared away now, “I’m never going to leave you alone now.”

Cloud leans his head back with force to meet his eyes. Zack refuses to let go of his tight grip on him. 

“I don’t want you to.”

He just might shake apart from all this fucking sweetness.

Sobering his mood, Zack feels his eyes get misty. 

No one has ever really wanted him around so much. To keep control over himself, he leans in and presses a soft kiss to Cloud’s lips. Takes the heat from him and the small breaths of air.

Gives him all the bravery he needs then. 

“Hey,” he pulls back with a wet smack, “You wanna stay here, for the holidays?”

Cloud had stayed last year, but he’s been cautious enough to keep his distance, didn’t ask him to stay the few days surrounding Christmas at Angeal’s home. They’d only been ‘dating’ for a few months at that point and nearly all of it had been drowning in school work. 

Now, with the worst mushy feelings in his chest, Zack doesn’t want to keep Cloud from Angeal and Sephiroth anymore.

From his family. 

“Zack, I was here last year,” Cloud laughs at him, snuggling down on his body and crossing his arms over Zack’s chest. 

“I mean, stay at home with me?”

Cloud tilts his head at him, the longest strains of his hair folding onto his skin, “home?”

It’s too tempting not to. Zack reaches up and brushes his hair from his eyes. Smiles when it falls right back into its haphazard place of his cheek, across his eye.

“Yeah, meet Angeal and Seph,” It’s cute, the nerves that shoot through Cloud and make him tense against him. 

“...I already know my mathematics professor…”

Not expecting that, his laughter bursts from him in a jolt. He has to wrap his arms around Cloud so he doesn’t roll off him from the force of his tapering chuckles. 

“I met your family. I want you to meet mine,” Zack says, tries not to be too earnest. 

He gets one of Cloud’s blindingly soft smiles; the ones back in Nibelheim. Clenches at his heart too hard and Zack has to smile back just as big.

It’s an embarrassingly long time; they stare at each other like that. Soft touches to their cheeks and quiet laughs against their lips. 

Almost to daylight peeking in through the windows. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy times ahead? Lol and more smut, all the smut. 
> 
> Anyway, stick around I promise, I'll go back to HOA soon. :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading! See you in the fall! 
> 
> PS: Zack you fail so hard at being a bad boi, he just wants to PROTEC. XD


	3. Two Week Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some smut and studin'. What else is there to do in college, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellos! I uhhhhhh, don't know. This has gotten out of control. I am adding another chapter, making things longer. I can't ever stop OMG. Someone help me, college is taking over. 
> 
> Happy Reading!

The library ends up being their home for the foreseeable future. Tucked away at the large table by the windows. Cloud had shoved Zack awake too early. Mumbling about if they didn’t get there first they would be stuck crammed together at one of the smaller study spots.

Zack wouldn’t have minded. 

It’s pouring rain out and the windows let the cold seep in. Zack scoots a bit closer to Cloud. Their thighs touching and arms brushing when one of them turns a page in their books. He still shivers, pouts over at Zack once every hour. He’d snagged his hoodie before Cloud could yank it on. 

He bought him an extra-large coffee to make up for it though. 

By mid-morning Zack can comfortably say he’s slacked way too much on his research labs. He’s managed to bring his grades up and clock in the credits. But if he wants to apply for his thesis, he’s got to get his labs done by finals. Which is only two weeks away and then the long stretch of winter holiday break. 

He can’t focus on that though. He’s gotta get all set for next semester. 

Cloud’s phone has been going off all morning, but it’s the last few times Zack sees the increasingly darker blush high on his cheeks. 

“Who is texting you?” He laughs quietly. Zack knows that blush. It’s Cloud’s embarrassed he’s turned-on- blush. 

“N-no one,” he _really_ keeps his eyes to the large round table they are at. 

Zack doesn’t feel jealous easily but there might be a twinge of it in his chest. He wants to know who’s telling Cloud things to make him blush like that. 

“What, nah, with that blush on-”

“-Oh, awesome, you guys got the good table,” Jessie’s dropping her backpack and sliding in across from them.

Zack forgot it was study group Wednesday. They’d all decided, after Zack’s stress meltdown to study together once a week to keep each other on track. It helps a lot, actually. Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie were all seniors with him. The same amount of workload and Biggs was a psych major like him. Sometimes Tifa and Aerith joined them if they got the big table like today. 

“You okay there, Spikes?” Jessie teases. Unpacking and scooting over so Wedge and Biggs can crowd in too. At least they only nod quietly at them so the rest of the library doesn’t continue on with their ‘shhhhh glare’.

“Yes,” he sounds a bit strangled and his phone buzzes again.

Jessie laughs, “that Aerith bugging you? She’s been bombarding you with texts all morning.”

His blush deepens and Zack feels the weird sting of jealousy leave. Just Aerith, huh. She must be teasing him too much. It’s not hard anyway to get Cloud falling into his bashfulness. 

He nudges him with his foot, “you can tell her to leave you alone,” He says.

Aerith...comes on strong. Kinda the same way Zack can. Sure, it’s been just over a year and a half now that Cloud has come into their little group. But he still gets overly flustered talking to even Jessie at times. 

“It’s fine,” Cloud mutters; lowers his head to focus more on his assignment in front of him.

Zack laughs to himself. Taps a few times against Cloud’s ankle with his shoe to ease the tension in his shoulders. 

It takes a bit for all of them to settle back down into the quiet of the library, but it’s nice once they do. The turning and shuffling of everyone’s pages. The close presence of everyone’s bodies and their breathing. All of it helps the stress trying to crawl back into overwhelming him. 

He doesn’t notice how long the time goes on. The rain is a constant noise against the window. Cloud stays cuddled close to his side for warmth nearly every second he can. 

When Tifa and Aerith arrive they break the quiet bubble over the table, it's past noon.

He’s gotten nearly all his labs done. It’s a relief and his slight irritation at being interrupted fades with the realization. 

They bring food with them, even though it’s not allowed in the library. They have to eat carefully and quietly, ignoring the glares of near-by students. A low chatter breaks out among them for a good hour after they finish eating. But the food eventually pushes everyone into a sleepy mood and they all turn back to their books reluctantly. 

Aerith increasingly slides closer to Cloud. She murmurs quietly to him, leaning right into his space. It’s distracting enough only cause Cloud’s arm tenses against his own and he looks up just as Aerith is laughing and patting Cloud’s cheek with the tips of her fingers. 

Cloud relaxes again after a few minutes but Zack still eyes Aerith suspiciously. She’s up to something. She also catches him sneaking glances at him and smiles too innocently for his liking. 

The next round of stillness over them isn’t as focused. Only Tifa and Cloud seem not to be suffering from studying strain. Jessie’s tied her hair up lazily, leaning haphazardly against Biggs. Who is leaning just as hard back.

Wedge has stopped studying, probably for the last hour, and is fiercely thumbing at his phone. 

Zack is certainly done too. He’s satisfied with the amount of assignments he’s finished and the panicky stress that always comes back has been gone since lunch. Even Aerith, who's only been working on school work for half the time they have has flopped over onto her stack of books and is watching Tifa with blank eyes.

It’s the end of the term lull. When the weather just makes everyone want to stay inside and the holidays are too close for focus to remain for long periods of time. 

Zack wants to leave. Now that his mind is too full to absorb any more. He’s got too much energy from sitting down all day. Cloud’s still pretty intent on his assignments and Zack feels bad if he suggests it.

He can see Jessie eyeing him too, like she wants to head over to the closest bar near campus and down a few shots. Now that he’s allowed out, it’s tempting. He waits another twenty minutes before saying anything.Taps lightly at Cloud’s forearm and slides the pads of his fingers over the skin in-between Cloud’s. He gets huffed at. Cloud flips his hand over and lets Zack intertwine their fingers together. He beams at him, even though Cloud won’t look up.

Still has a sweet faint flush across his cheeks though.

Jessie breaks before him. 

“O-kay. Come on, I can’t stare at the same sentence any longer. Drinks?”

He expects most of their little group to split. It’s the middle of the week and it’s just late enough that a round at a bar will make everyone groggy in the morning. 

“Yes, absolutely,” Aerith says. Bumps Tifa with her whole body.

He’s surprised that Cloud starts to pack up his things. Shoots him an unusual, out of place shy look. Blushes when he catches his gaze. He holds back as everyone files out of the library.

“Okay, we can stay and study if you want too.”

Cloud frowns, tightens his grip on his backpack strap. He just hums and shakes his head. Takes Zack’s hand again and drags him after their group. 

It’s a small dingy bar just on the outside of campus and their group is huddled close in the crisp cold and rushing in. Cloud’s still locking their fingers together and keeps them at the back of the group. Pointedly ignores the very obvious sly glancing Aerith keeps shooting over her shoulder at them. Zack makes a questioning face at her, after she’s done so for the tenth time. She just hums and shrugs at him. Skips ahead into the bar and steals the last large booth near the back. 

It’s Jessie’s favorite spot near campus, warm, cozy, and has the same people working since they all started school. The dim, wood-built place can get crowded, but it’s never overly rowdy and it’s usually similar customers coming in for a few drinks and a mediocre meal. 

Zack hasn’t been here in a year and it’s the moment his thighs hit the waring leather of the booth and Cloud sliding in close to his side does he realize.

He’s never been anywhere with Cloud outside campus and Nibelheim. 

Sparks a quick want to take Cloud all over Midgar and show him the best spots. The best places to eat, the best cider, the little hill overlooking the campus that has a view of the glowing city in a sunset. The strong urge to smother Cloud in his arms vibrates in him, since Wedge is sliding in next to them, he settles for leaning against him.

A buzz goes around their group pretty fast and their chatter is loud and friendly. Zack nurses his beer slow, enjoys the low lights shimmering in Cloud’s eyes, and the soft murmur of the tables around them. Zack never thought he’d see the day when he could feel the comfort and the warmth of just being out with friends. 

Now he gets to bring Cloud along too. Stare at the flush from his cider on his cheeks. Listen to his low laughs, it’s easy to pick them out from under everyone else’s shouts of laughter. He admits, he didn’t think Cloud would so easily get tipsy, but a few ciders in and he’s more giggly then Zack has ever seen him and is leaning pretty hard into his side. Keeps sliding his hand over Zack’s thigh clumsily and squeezes. 

They only stay for a few hours, everyone nicely buzzed and the cold air on the walk home is more tolerable. 

Cloud keeps even closer to him, hip bumping him on accident every other step. It’s pretty cute, the sly little way he looks up at Zack from under his bangs. Slides into his side on purpose and doesn’t answer Jessie or Tifa when they call him.

Zack laughs. Waves at them, “think he’s staying with me guys,” and guides Cloud towards his building, falling sideways into a step as he wraps his arms around Zack’s torso. 

He hears the girl’s shouts and laughs, but Biggs and Wedge aren't nearly as drunk, so he trusts them to get back safely across campus.

In the elevator, Cloud’s all over him, sloppy kisses against his neck and sluggish hands wandering over Zack’s stomach. He keeps outlining his abs through his shirt, eyes widened like he’s surprised by them every time. It draws a chuckle from him, more than arousal. 

He’ll never say no to all the touching though. 

“Come on,” Zack grasps at his ribcage, holds him back a little, “those ciders are hittin’ you a little hard, short stuff.” 

Cloud smashes his face into his shoulder. A muffled, “i’m-shust’tyring to-” into his hoodie. Zack doesn’t even catch the last half. 

Tired and tipsy then. He’ll have to remember, Cloud can’t handle his alcohol too well. 

He laughs gently at him again and rubs at his neck. Lets Cloud rest against him as they move up in the building. Zack has to lead him down the hall and into his apartment. He hadn’t noticed Cloud getting so drunk, but maybe it just hit him all at once. 

They hadn’t eaten too much all day. It’s not surprising. 

It takes a while, but Cloud manages getting his own shoes off and stumbles up the stairs very slowly, letting Zack take his backpack he’d dropped onto the floor. 

Zack’s pretty tired too, more mentally drained from studying. So he drops their things onto the couch and locks up. Follows Cloud up the stairs and shrugs his clothes as he goes. 

Cloud is already huddled under the blankets, curled in a ball. Just a small lump right in the middle of Zack’s massive bed. 

He laughs, “Hey, gonna let me have any room?” 

Only a shuffling of the sheets answers him. 

As he sits down on the bed his phone rings. A groan escapes him, but it’s late, and that usually means it’s Angeal or one of the trio is calling him. He weakly shoves himself up and walks the whole two steps to his jeans he’d just dropped to the floor. Fishes out his ringing phone from all the fabric. 

Angeal’s name is flashing at him. 

“Hey,” trying not to sound annoyed, Zack stumbles back to the mattress and crashes down. Leans against Cloud’s curled up body as a back support. A muffled grunt floats to his ears just as Angeal greats him back. 

“Sorry, did I wake you?” He doesn’t sound that sorry.

Actually, it’s more than sobering. Angeal’s voice is too tightly coiled and short. Something is wrong. It shakes Zack awake immediately. Goes tense and he leans down against Cloud harder for some reassurance.

“What’s wrong?” Zack rather hears it right away.

Angeal sighs in his ear, “Hard to hide anything from you, huh?”

“Angeal…”

“Okay, just...don’t panic,”

Great, doesn’t Angeal know not to start off with that? It spikes a high hit of anxiety and his heart starts pounding.

“ _Angeal_ ,” he tries his best not to growl too loudly. 

“I contacted Roche’s parole officer, make sure Reno wasn’t messing with you.”

“Yeah and?”

“..and...Roche hasn’t checked in his last two appointments.”

Damnit. Of course, _of fucking course_. His silence must be radiating with worry. Angeal’s voice turns soft and quiet. Speaks to him like when he was a teen, sad and angry, and hiding in his room.

“Zack, it’s fine. He could just be neglecting to go. It doesn’t mean anything. I just...don’t like keeping things from you. So I thought I should tell you. Don’t spiral out of control.”

He’s not wrong. Zack would just end up more stressed if Angeal waited to tell him. Maybe a week later would have been nice. Finals are Monday and….shit. His hand is shaking and he feels a bit embarrassed. 

It’s just fucking Roche. He handled him before...he can handle him again. 

“Yeah...I’ll try not to.”

It is quiet in the phone connection. Zack takes a few deep breaths.

“Seph and I wanted to know,” Angeal always knows how to punch him in the gut and then switch directions, “you planning on going to Nibelheim for the holidays-”

“-actually,” Zack needed to speak to them about it anyway. He’s still planning to make good on his admission to Cloud. He wants him to meet them. He’s never fallen so hard and Zack can’t imagine life without Cloud anymore, “ I wanna bring Cloud to ours. I know...I’ve never brought anyone, but-”

“-Zack,” Angeal interrupts him, “That’s fine. It’s no problem.”

Another silence. This one is more comforting. Against his back Cloud shifts and lets out a tiny sleeping groan. Like he knows Zack is talking about him. He huffs out some laughter.

“There’s something you need to know first,” He says. Zack knows it’s not really his place to tell people about Cloud’s memory problems but it’s Angeal and Sephiroth. Cloud will be too embarrassed anyway. 

Angeal’s chuckling, “you asking him to marry you already?”

Zack sputters, flushes deeply in the dark room. Honestly, he’s heading down that way but-no that’s not what he needs to talk about. 

“N-no,” It’s always been this way. Angeal never passes up an opportunity to tease him, “look, this is kind of serious Angeal,” it’s enough to cut the low chuckling.

“Serious…” 

Zack also hopes Angeal will tell Sephiroth so he doesn’t have to. They’re family but...Sephiroth is hard to read and he’s still too cagey at times and doesn’t consider the mood in a room. He’s worried, if Cloud has an episode over the break, Sephiroth will be too cold. Still might be, even if he knows about the accident. 

“I’m not sure how much Cloud will be comfortable with me telling, but you need to know. He has...memory problems. Bouts of amnesia that usually resolve in a day.”

“Amnesia,” Angeal repeats at him. For some reason, it makes Zack nervous.

“Yeah, it’s random. Sometimes he just struggles with the last few hours, other times...he forgets weeks altogether,” He’s very aware of Cloud’s warmth and his breathing behind him as he waits for Angeal to answer. 

“Wanna tell me how that happened?”

“No. If Cloud is okay with it, maybe some other time,” He says, a little too clipped. 

Angeal huffs a quiet “Hmph” through his nose, “you turned out pretty okay, pup,” He says out of nowhere.

“Geez,” Zack knows he’s blushing again, “what is this, embarrass me hour?” 

He gets laughed at again, “want me to tell Seph then?”

Yes he does, “Yeah...also, maybe don’t ask Cloud about it. He’s shy.”

“You said that, over the summer.”

He sounds amused now, that teasing tone creeping back in his voice.

“Come on, man,” Zack’s gotta cut it off before he gets irritated with Angeal, “I love him.”

Somehow Cloud must hear his admission. He scoots back a bit, presses hard against Zack and sighs out his name loud enough for Zack to hear through the sheets.

He’s all mushy and soft now, damnit.

Angeal’s ‘hmph’ this time is softer too. 

“Don’t worry Zack. We’ll be nice.”

“You better,” it slips out more aggressive then he means, “I think he’s it for me.”

Angeal’s nice enough to drop his teasing and chat with him a little longer about nothing important. Tells him about Sephiroth getting a lecture from the Dean yet again about throwing pens at his students. About the dumb case he finished up that had been irritating him for months. 

It eases his nervousness enough for his hands to stop shaking and the idea that Roche has slipped away from Gongaga pushed far in the depths of his mind. He hangs up with only his exhaustion from the day. 

Sliding under the blankets he curls down around Cloud. Arms tight across his stomach and linking their hands together. Zack pulls him close and buries his nose in the nape of his neck, feeling calmer than he has all week.

When they wake earlier to get ready for class in the morning, Cloud is extra grumpy and mumbling sleepily as they pull on clothes lazily. He shuffles along behind Zack, bumping into him every so often, and lingers. His head a light pressure in the middle of his shoulder blades.

They make up a quick bagel and cream cheese breakfast and rush out the door, backpacks barely clinging onto their shoulders. 

Halfway across campus, Zack tugs his hoodie off, glances one too many times at Cloud shivering miserably next to him. 

He’s reluctant to part ways with him, dropping him off at his first class with a soft cold kiss in the misty rain. Watches him pull the navy hood over his head, his blonde hair disappearing and hunching down into the residual warmth of Zack’s body heat. 

***

Friday hits hard and fast. Finals are looming too quickly, even though his stress level has minimized to manageable, it’s still alarming. 

It’s quiet in his apartment, evening falling quickly on them as they plug away at their studies. Cloud’s been glancing over at him fairly often. It’s sweet, his eyes large and shiny with concern. Zack feels his stares get longer each time. 

It’s also a little worrying, he can’t look _that_ bad. Zack got his classes back under control and he’s not too behind on his outlines for finals.

Okay, _maybe_ he’s ran his hand through his hair so many times the layers have all but spiked out and gone wild. But it’s more of a subconscious thing then stress. He wishes Cloud wouldn't worry so much. He’s got a better handle on it now and he doesn't want to accidentally trigger an episode for him. 

In all honesty, Zack can’t believe Cloud hasn’t had one already. A few grumpy days and his left eye twitches at night sometimes, but he hasn’t had any memory issues yet. Zack’s relieved, if only because last year, finals had nearly broken Cloud. 

Every time he watches Cloud fall apart, he feels helpless and annoyed at himself. There’s something more he can do to help him, he just can’t figure it out yet.

He sighs, chews on the end of his pen, and glares down at his tablet. He’s gone off on a tangent, thinking about Cloud. Re-focusing, Zack runs his hand through his hair yet again and sighs to clear his thoughts.

His tablet seems to get brighter in his lap. Almost feels like it’s judging him. 

Barely gets his focus back before Cloud’s dim shadow falls over him. He’s biting his lip, eyes averted to the floor. He takes a deep inhale before speaking.

“You need a break…”

Zack won’t argue with that. He does need a break. But maybe after he finishes up this last assignment. It’s due on his test day next week, but he wants to get it over with so he can just focus on studying for all his finals on the weekend.

“Do I ever, let me just finish this okay? We can go out for dinner, that-”

“-no...I mean,” Cloud huffs. Zack watches him argue with himself in his own head before inhaling deeply again. 

He’s nervous. 

“Cloud?” Zack sets his tablet aside, shuffles his books over on the couch. 

Did something happen? He’s still a little over-attentive, worried that he’s falling back into his stress. He never again wants to feel that pang of hurt, hear the distress in Cloud’s voice. 

Cloud rolls his eyes and sets his shoulders. Takes the few steps to the couch and climbs up onto Zack’s lap. Slides his hands up Zack’s chest to rest over his shoulders and grip at the back of his neck. He stays lingering over him, knees on either side, and staring down at Zack with a blush crossing over his face already. Irritation still lingers in his eyes and he _still_ won’t meet Zack’s gaze completely. 

Zack chuckles; stares up at him and brings his hands up to rest on Cloud’s hips. Rubs his thumb in circles, catching on the thin fabric of his shirt.

“This kinda break, huh?” He’s not going to say no, not when Cloud’s stroking at the nape of his neck and biting so hard into his lip it’s flushing a deeper pink.

“Mmm Hmm,” He seems more shy than normal, leaning in fast and knocking their lips together a little hard. Jittery and rushing. 

Zack squeezes his sides, pulls him flush against him. He has to lean his head back, stretch his neck a little to keep kissing Cloud. He flicks his tongue and runs it over Cloud’s bottom lip at his deeper moan. Drags his hands up his back. It bunches his shirt, the fabric pulling after it. His skin is cold under his touch, he traces the trail of goosebumps. Dips his fingers under the band of his jeans and grazes over a thin rougher texture. 

He hums in interest, breaks off from Cloud’s still oddly nervous kissing.

“What’s-” Zack pulls back some more, pushes Cloud’s shirt up along his stomach. 

A small, extremely lusty gasp escapes him.

Peeking up from his dark denim, bright neon yellow-lime straps curve up over his hips. The fabric is a rougher, tight netted weave, and sits snug on his skin. As he shifts his hips the tiniest of vibrant azure blue flashes at him. 

Zack dips his thumb under the strap, snaps it against Cloud’s skin. It’s stretchy, and a faint pink blooms under the offending strap. 

“Cloud...are you-”

Cloud’s glancing off toward the window, his flush traveling all the way down his neck. Zack’s blood runs faster, his heart thumping hard and his cock stirs against his own jeans. 

“Can I see?” all of it, he wants to see Cloud all tucked in and displayed for him. 

“That’s the point isn’t it,” Cloud growls, trying to conceal his embarrassment with irritation.

He shuffles back, so Zack can see his whole body better. Hangs onto his shoulders and lets Zack unbutton his jeans. It’s fucking too tantalizing, as he unzips them, more and more peeks of neon blue and yellow tease him. He’s straining hard in his denim. Zack tugs slowly, licks his lips as Cloud’s jeans slide down his hips. Over his thighs and stretches out around his knees.

There are straps pressing into his skin everywhere, bright colors contrasting his fair skin. Zack’s not even sure how he’d get him out of it; they overlap just enough to be confusing. Three yellow straps of the undies all criss-cross. Open across the crotch and trapping Cloud’s pink-flushed cock to his pelvis, peeks of his flesh tempting Zack in diamond shapes. The blue harness overlaps a little. A stark color difference that looks obscene on Cloud. It wraps around his hips, down in the V of his legs, and around his thighs. 

Zack reaches out, feather-light touch across the front of the lingerie. Cloud’s cock twitches, jumps a little, and the head slips out from under the taut yellow-lime straps. 

“I-is it...stupid?” Cloud asks, poking his tongue down into his bottom lip in self-consciousness. 

“What?” Zack knows his voice sounds dumbed, low and an embarrassing awe-tone seeping in, “no, you look... _fuck_.”

He traces over the straps running high on his hips, follows them around and grips Cloud’s ass in both hands, hauls him forward, and cups him up and against him. He can feel the harness pushing up under his cheeks and digging into his skin. 

“It’s tight, huh?” Zack can’t stop staring down between them. It’s lewd, the contrast of Cloud’s wrapped, naked torso pressed against his clothed ones. He can’t help it, pulls one of the straps under his ass cheek, and snaps it against his skin again. 

“Ah-Zack,” he shakes against him, a sharp jerk. 

Zack runs his hands over the swell of his ass a few times, rocks his own hips up against Cloud. Uses his grip on him to pull him into his body, keep him where Zack can grind up against him. 

A break, _fucking_ -if he knew Cloud was sitting around like this he’d take that break ten times over. 

He suddenly just...needs Cloud. It burns in him and he’s running his hands up Cloud’s back, grabbing his shirt along the way and yanking it up over his head. Surges up as he chucks the shirt somewhere and clashes hard with Cloud’s lips. Nips at his lips and Zack’s falling so fast into his fevered need he can’t decide if he wants to keep memorizing Cloud’s body in the strappy hotness or shove his tongue more past his lips. 

Guess it’s all the hotness. Cloud is pulling back and standing to slip his jeans to the floor. He’s not moving any different, doesn’t particularly arch his body anyway. But the lingerie cutting out his hips so perfectly and the trapped flush of his cock, the tightest of the body harness around his thighs. 

The need in him. It’s all too much.

“Fuck me,” Zack blurts out.

Cloud lets out one of his tiny surprised gasps, eyes widening and darkening with lust. His cock twitches under the neon straps. He bites at his lip and his eyes narrow again. Gets the determined look Zack hasn’t seen since the summer. He kneels again, slips out a small discrete bottle of lube, and steps in closer. (and _fuck_ , Cloud’s been ready?) His shins hit the couch and Zack’s already lifting his hips, slipping his jeans and boxer-briefs down. Slips his legs open for Cloud to press in closer still. 

He squirts out a generous amount of lube and then...they both kind of stare down at his dick with puzzled expressions.

“Uh...how do I…” Cloud shifts, but the straps are keeping him flush tight against his stomach. 

Get his cock untrapped. Zack laughs quietly, reaches out and snags his fingers under a few straps, pulls himself close to Cloud. Nestling his ass against his hips. He skims the lingerie, looking for a clasp, but he must be too fogged by lust. He lazily touches at Cloud’s skin, brushes his cock. He can’t really think about anything else but the last time Cloud was pushing his way gently inside him. Felt so good and Zack throbs. He can’t find any way to loosen the harness around Cloud’s hips.

“I can’t find-fuck’it,” He huffs out a hot breath and just yanks on the front straps. Scrunching them together enough for Cloud’s cock to bounce free. 

The straps have enough stretch that it doesn’t look painful, cups around Cloud nicely. His eyes get even darker and he’s slicking up his cock, leaning in and gently skimming around Zack’s entrance.

“I’m good, gorgeous, come on, _fuck._ How are you so hot in this?” It’s just tiny plastic fabric and bright colors.

But Cloud looks so sinful. Looks even more so as he presses the head of his cock against his pucker and slowly, always so tender, pushes inside Zack. His lashes fluttering down against his cheeks and his moan breathy and high as he slides in with ease. The stretch burns a little without Cloud’s fingers first, but Zack likes it. Wants to watch Cloud get lost in the heat of his body more. 

He looks so beautiful, trying not to come too quickly and leaning over Zack with his arms shaking around him. He holds himself up with a grip on the back of the couch and trembles when he rocks his hips back. Still manages to reach out and trace Zack’s scar. Lightly down the jagged edges, down around his jaw.

He’s moving too gently, barely brushing against his prostate. Zack lets out a frustrated groan, rolls his hips up and forward. Gives him the pressure he wants and spurs Cloud to rock forward, looking to stay in the heat of Zack’s body. 

It’s just what he needs, pleasure zinging along his whole body as Cloud’s cock drags inside him faster, more rough. Zack slips down a little more, so he can only see Cloud above him. He keeps his thighs wide, jeans and underwear still hanging onto one of his legs. This way, he can watch Cloud’s hips move. The colorful straps seem to animate his movements more, showing Zack the jerky thrusts and the smooth rolls of his muscles and his bones. 

“Mmm-hh-ah,” He’s more confident, titling his thrusts up just as he pushes in. Presses on his prostate every time and Zack shakes. Reaches out and snags two fingers under the blue harness, just to hold on as Cloud’s pace gets rougher, starts getting frantic and hard.

He’s coming soon. Zack feels it in his shallower movements. Hears it in the high pitchy breaths he’s taking. His own orgasm is slower, the heat only really starting to build. He wants this to go on forever, to watch Cloud’s hips and skin shift under the neon. 

Zack can’t stop staring. He’s too hard and aching. Rolls his hips along with Cloud and as his arms shake near his head, Zack squeezes all around his cock. Pulling him into his body as Cloud shouts, jerks and falls forward, burying himself inside him. His come is hot and thick in him, Zack fixates on the slipped strap at the top of Cloud’s hip. Feels the heat in him turn burning and Zack….

He needs _more._

In a smooth motion, Zack flips them, rolls to his feet, and shoves Cloud face down into the couch. He hooks his fingers under the blue harness low on his hips. Yanks Cloud’s ass up, bending his back and spreading his legs. 

Just barely remembers the lube tossed on the seat next to them. Coats most of the bottle over his aching cock and lines up with Cloud’s entrance. The fucking undies- _fuck_ , Zack is too obsessed and hard and he doesn’t understand how it’s so _fucking hot._

The lines are cutting into Cloud’s skin, peaking pink skin at him and they all merge into one, sliding along the swell of his ass and makes him look so...plump and delicious and-

Fuck.

Zack’s going to come just staring at him. He shoves in hard, yanking roughly at Cloud’s harness to pull him over his cock as he shoves inside him too fast and rough. He’s consumed with his hot, tight body, with the straps cutting into his skin as Zack pulls on them to meet his pounding thrusts. 

Rough, he’s never been this rough with Cloud. Vaguely hears his whimpers and his gasps getting so fast after one another they’re getting stuck in his lungs. He didn’t even prep him, is still trapped in the foggy heat as his orgasm builds. 

Faster and harder.

He’s slamming inside Cloud with so much force the couch shifts forward. Cloud only drags tightly and so _perfectly_ over his cock because Zack’s still got his hands using the harness on his legs. Centering him to squeeze all around Zack and that’s just what he needed.

Cloud’s tight little body pulls his orgasm out of him. Pushes him over the edge, the sight of his body writhing in the _fucking neon lingerie_. Cloud’s come dripping out of his own body, fuck- he had done so good, hitting Zack’s prostate, he can still feel a lingering pressure as he buries himself in Cloud. 

Zack shoves in one last time and shouts as Cloud tightens even more around him. He comes _hard_ , spills so much and his legs can’t even hold him up. He crashes down on top of Cloud.

Except, the couch had moved and his body weight crashes both himself and Cloud down onto the floor. Shaking him a little from his afterglow. He laughs, it bubbles out of him without meaning too. It’s just..the sound Cloud had made as they fell to the floor, it was too cute and unexpected. 

He helps Cloud twist over, pulling his legs to link over his hips, and leans in. Runs his hands up Cloud’s sides and presses his lips very softly against Cloud’s. He’s still breathing hard, their fall not knocking him from his daze. 

“Okay?” Zack asks. Cloud’s shaking pretty visibly and Zack can see the bruises starting to show where he had pulled too hard on the harness. 

Fuck...just looking down at Cloud again in it is getting his cock twitching.

“Yeah,” Cloud manages between gasps, he weakly reaches to rest his arms on Zack’s shoulders, “shit,” an actual giggle escapes him, makes Zack’s heart swell with affection, “okay...good to know. You like the underwear.”

Does he ever. Damn, Cloud has spoiled him now. He wants more, wants to see Cloud in different ones. Maybe...more delicate. He’d look so fucking pretty in it. 

Zack hums happily, absently tracing the top strap still, he really can’t stop looking.

“Okay, _really_ like it.” Cloud’s laughing breathless, tangles his fingers into Zack’s hair and strokes slowly through his locks. 

Zack kisses him again, still tender and slow. A small apology for the bruises and for the soreness Cloud will feel later. He breaks away wetly and rests his forehead against Cloud’s.

“How’d you know? I fucking love this kinda thing,” 

His whole face flashes bright pink and he can’t really look away from Zack’s gaze being so close. Tries too though. 

“Uh...maybe...Aerith,” he mutters. 

Of course, Aerith, shit. That’s what she’s been non stop texting Cloud about all week? Zack laughs this time.

“Huh-uh, and how did she get so interested in….giving you lingerie.”

He didn’t think Cloud could get any more embarrassed, or pink.

He was wrong. Even the little irritated brow-furrowing is happening. Annoyed that he’s so embarrassed probably. 

“I...asked her…”

“Huh?” Zack knows he instinctively tilts his head, his confused puppy move, Angeal always teases him about it.

Cloud huffs; melts back to lean against the couch to curl down into himself.

“You’ve been so stressed all year...I just thought...I mean, I wanted to help,” Cloud trials off with an eye roll. Lowers his head so much Zack has to curl down with him to keep leaning against him. 

He wanted to help Zack ease his stress. That low lying affection he always feels around Cloud bursts brightly inside his chest. It must have been pretty embarrassing, asking her about this. Somehow, it’s the thought of Cloud thinking about him that makes it all hotter and sweeter. 

“Fuck, I love you. You could have asked _me_ , you know,” Might have been a little less horrifying for him. 

Cloud mumbles under his breath, “wanted to surprise you.”

Ugh, Zack’s going to burst apart. So _adorable_ and _sexy_ and-

He surges forward, cupping Cloud’s jaw to keep his face where Zack wants. Right against his lips. A harder kiss. Zack tries to put the intensity he feels flowing in him into the pressure. Into the slipping and the little nips. Strokes his thumbs along the line of Cloud’s jaw as he pulls longer and sweeter kisses from him. 

They kiss for a while on the floor, until Cloud’s shifting uncomfortably in his lap.

It takes both of them to try and get Cloud out from the criss-cross fabric, but they only tangle him in it worse.

They end up cutting it off.

Zack pouts a little at the strains of it on the floor. 

The colors looked so _good_ on Cloud. He’ll miss it. 

***

The weekend is gone in a blink of an eye and Zack doesn’t have time to daydream about Cloud in cute tight little panties. Doesn’t stop him from eyeing his trim waist as they rush around campus, picturing all the straps digging into his skin, the redness and lines left over. He can still see it, under his fitted jeans. 

Shit….he _really_ doesn’t have time to be distracted. His phone buzzes in his pocket as he turns from dropping Cloud off at his first final to head to his own.

Jessie: _I see you ogling Cloud’s ass, don’t you have finals to get to, stress ball?_

How? Jessie isn’t even walking with them. Zack glances around, spots her in the classroom across the hall, waving her fingers at him with a mocking smirk. He pouts angrily at her, waves her off when she sticks out her tongue. 

Zack: _Pay attention, you’ll get in trouble._

Jessie: _Nope! This is the last lecture final, we had a take-home one on the weekend._

Ugh, okay, he’s got to get moving. 

She’s at least taken his mind off of Cloud and his...new found way of de-stressing him. 

The misty air has turned into a freezing, almost icy downpour as Zack darts across the middle of campus, down to the south section for his first two finals. He’s lucky they are just his labs and an elective. He’ll be able to go register for his thesis after them. 

And then, just one more final on Wednesday and it’s a month of cold days and long cuddles in the morning. Just the thought of Cloud all sleepy and stretched out in the dim sunlight, cooking him breakfast in the morning, boxing him in with his knees on the couch. 

He sighs too dreamily into the cold air and shakes himself before he goes into the building. 

His first final is long and drains most of energy and focus. It’s his research labs and the only comforting sight is the rest of his peers looking as close to tears and a breakdown as he feels. Luckily he pushed through and overstudied. He finishes early, turns in the test, and sits jangling his leg at his desk. 

His phone stares blankly up at him, silent and quiet. Until it lights up and Cloud’s sleeping face catches his vacant stare. 

Cloud: _Okay Zack? Finished mine. Want to meet at my place after?_

His last final is still an hour long and doesn't start till noon. But it’s close to Cloud’s apartment. 

Zack: _Sure, go okay?_

He’s been worried. Waiting for Cloud to have an episode any day. He still feels bad he freaked him out at the start of the year. Cloud should be able to rely on him, not afraid Zack is pulling away. He bites at his thumbnail, suddenly annoyed with himself. He needs to still make it up to him. 

Cloud: _Yeah, fine._

A few minutes go by and the end of his class is coming up. 

Cloud _….Don’t stress, you got this._

His heart thumps. Cloud’s been so focused on him, been so sweet to him. He’s...not used to it. Sounds pathetic in his head, the moment he thinks it. He’s always had attention. Knows he’s the typical ‘hot jock’. He’s always been fawned over for his looks, for being kind and helpful. He’s not been ignored or scoffed at. Zack’s been friendly and lucky to be well known anywhere he ends up.

But it’s always felt fake...superficial and fleeting. 

Even Aerith’s attention to him was kept at a distance, just the attraction in the end.

But Cloud. He gives him every once of focus he has. When his headaches are so bad he can’t even sit up for long. He’ll just sit with Zack. Well after he finishes his assignments and stays in his space. Brings him sweet tea in the evenings and listens to him ramble on about lacrosse for the rest of the night. 

That kind of attention, he hasn’t realized he’s never had before. Besides Angeal but it’s different. He’s family, a brother he never had. 

Cloud’s only ever given him such soft-focused filled eyes. It hurts sometimes how good it makes him feel. 

If he’s too honest with himself, he can’t see how he deserves it. 

Zack: _Thanks, short stuff. See ya in a few._

His second final is easy and lax and they go by too slowly when all he can think about is Cloud lounging in his room waiting for Zack to show up. He has to drop by the psyche building after and by the time his day is finished, it’s almost dark out and the cold is cutting. 

The walk to Cloud’s place is at least short. The door is open and he’s greeted with a quiet round of ‘hullos’ and a subtle point over her shoulder from Jessie. 

“I think he’s not feeling good,” she says in her rare soft tone.

It dims his warm giddy feeling in his stomach and wakes him from his mental weariness. Toes his shoes off and drops his backpack onto the bar seats at the mini counter bar on his way in. It seems too still in the back of the apartment, the hallway dark and the faintest light pushing out from under Cloud’s door feels like a meek sign. 

He opens his door silently, in case Cloud is sleeping.

The small window only lets in a little bit of light, casting a long square of fading sun along the middle of Cloud’s body. Only made brighter by the lights off. He’s curled on his side, facing away from the door. Zack can see the small glow from his phone. Taping away on his phone. Zack’s is silent, so must be Tifa he’s locked into a convo with. 

His calves are curled over each other, legs smooth, and clad only in his boxer-briefs. Still got Zack’s hoodie on, hair peeking out from under the hood and sleeves down over his palms. 

The small bed dips under his weight. The only alert Cloud gets before Zack’s bumping against his back. Leaning over him with an arm on the bed as an anchor. He slides his hand down the curve of his waist, resting on his hip to comfort him with small strokes of his thumb. 

“Finally done..” Cloud’s voice is gentle, drags his gaze with it to look up into Zack’s face. 

“Just one more. You okay? Jessie mentioned…” he trails off as Cloud’s scrunched nose. 

“Ugh, I’m fine, why does everyone think I’m falling apart all the time?” 

He just sounds sad. Too tired to be annoyed or angry. It draws the lingering cold from outside into Zack’s chest, makes the emotional ache more hollow. It’s hard to tell Cloud the worry is just because they care and not because his affliction is at the forefront of their minds.

“I don’t, just checkin’.” 

Cloud’s quiet for a while; twists back to stare at the wall with an irritated sigh. 

“My knee…” He mutters. 

Cloud rarely mentions it and Tifa has only pulled Zack aside a few times to remind him about Cloud’s odd mild bad days. He sees when they happen. Doesn’t need Cloud’s grumpy attitude or wince to tell him. It’s just usually his headaches and his forgetfulness that grabs at Zack’s attention. 

Only when he limps in the morning of cold days or sits with his leg stretched out does it jog Zack’s memory about the old injury. 

“Getting too cold, huh?” He climbs over Cloud. Trapping him under his body and framing him with his arms. 

The faint blush on his cheeks is the only thing making his stubborn look away game cute. Keeps his eyes looking anywhere but Zack, even when he takes his chin between his fingers and turns his head to face him. 

“You don’t have to hide it from me you know.”

“I _know._ ”

The irritation in him only seems to grow. It’s the first time Zack’s felt that burning hot weird feeling of ‘go away.’ Leaves him lost. 

“Cloud…”

He remembers lashing out, frustrated, tired of too much fusing over him from Angeal. It lets him ignore the sting of feeling those emotions directed at him. 

A short warm sigh brushes along his jaw and Cloud pushes up into his space. Nudges his nose along Zack’s chin as he twists below him and brings his arms up around his neck. 

“Sorry, just annoying. My knee, not you…”

Must be more than his knee too. Slow to talking. 

It’s okay. Zack doesn’t have to understand his anguish to try and help. He just wishes Cloud would let him some more. He hopes it’s not his school stress that’s causing Cloud to withdraw. Feels like they are going around in circles over the same misunderstandings. He tilts Cloud back down against the mattress and sits back. Sliding his hands under Cloud’s thigh he gently bends his leg enough to relax. Twists to the side so he can rub at Cloud’s knee with better pressure. 

It’s locked up and the ligaments under the skin feel tight and stressed, pulling hard even in the relaxed position. Zack’s dealt with too many sports injuries to ignore the signs of a flare-up. He spends a while on either side of his knee, pressing his thumb in tiny tight circles and moving up along the sides of the kneecap. Easing back if Cloud gasps in discomfort. There’s an odd knotted bundle of flesh just at the top that he skids around. Seems a little swollen and he doesn't want to aggravate it. 

Once the muscles unlock and ease more under his hands Zack widens his circles and gentles his touch even more. Cloud sighs more deeply and less pained. Sits up from leaning against the pillows and grasps Zack’s forearm. Slides his hand slow over his skin. 

“Zack,” Cloud says. His voice seems to linger in the quiet, draws his name out slow and hushed. Hesitates with parted lips and his eyes flicker over Zack’s face a few times before settling somewhere near his shoulder. 

A wash of frustration erases his neutral expression and he bites into his lip with teary eyes. His day is worse than he’s letting on then. It’s heartbreaking for Zack to watch him struggle, even on the not so bad episodes. 

Even when he first met him, saw him looking so lost in the middle of campus. It pulled at Zack’s heart. He’s never really done that before, bound up to a stranger and ask them if they need help. But something about Cloud felt like his whole world was zeroed in on him that day. And then he’d been so cute and flustered and grumpy the whole time Zack walked him to his building. 

He’d looked for Cloud’s messy locks every day after that. A flash of pale blonde drew his eyes every time and he was always disappointed it hadn’t been him. 

Until a few weeks later in the pouring rain, he spotted him, broke his heart in half without even knowing anything other than his name and major. 

He’s got the same look on his face now. Without the rain hiding his teary eyes. Zack’s whole stomach drops. Drags his lungs and his heart with it into a plunging cold emptiness at the shaking in Cloud’s shoulders. He’s trying so hard to hide his infliction. Hide it from him. 

“Hey,” Zack whispers. Places a firm hand on top of Cloud’s and drags his other one across Cloud’s cheek. He’s ducked his head down into his shoulders but Zack’s not surprised to feel the dampness on his cheek. 

His stuttering inhale just pulls at him a bit more. So quickly Cloud decides to wall up half the time Zack isn’t even aware of what is going on. How often then does he miss him struggling? It’s the same thing when Zack is going at him too much too soon. He just can’t figure out why Cloud does it still. It’s Zack, he loves him, he doesn’t care if he’s having a rough day. That won’t change. 

“Hey, hey,” Zack tugs him close, envelopes him in his arms. Holds his head down into the crook of his neck so Cloud can hide all he wants, “please, Gorgeous, don’t hide it from me. I wanna help you.” 

It must be the dam that breaks him. Why now Zack doesn’t know but Cloud’s shoulders dip higher and his breath stutters out with a raspy gasp. Pushes deeper into Zack’s skin and gives in to whatever hurt he’s feeling. Cloud’s not a loud crier and he’s only broken down so completely a few times in front of Zack. 

Doesn’t make it any better that he waits till he’s this distraught to even let Zack know. 

“It’s annoying to deal with,” Cloud murmurs. Zack hears the ‘I’ instead of it’s.

He knows Cloud won’t believe him this time or even the next, but he’ll keep telling him until he does.

“Not to me,” Zack says just as quietly. Presses a side kiss into Cloud’s hair and strokes at the short hairs along the nape of his neck. 

Cloud doesn’t say anything else. Stays nestled against his neck and for the rest of the evening curls in close with his legs overlapping Zack’s hips. He can help in this way at least. Just...again, every time this happens, Zack feels like he should do more. 

Notices Cloud draws away from him after a bit more too. 

The rest of their finals go by fast and Cloud doesn’t look him in the eye for the rest of the week. Skips staying over at Zack’s the night after his ‘mishap’ and is reluctant to stay too long the rest of the days.

Zack has to pull him in and trap him against the bed on Friday night after all their finals are officially over. He doesn’t try and leave like the rest of the week. Takes a while to get him to unstick from his shoulder where he hides most of the night though. 

He finally gets a smile out of him around midnight. It’s pressed against his skin and he sees the tail end of it in the dark. Still makes his heart thud hard and press a hard kiss to the top of his brow

Saturday is their first official day of holiday and when he goes down to the mailroom in old sweats a package he completely forgot he bought stares up at him. It stares small and unassuming at him. It’s his normal rebuy of lube, he goes through it faster now. 

He also….may have bought something else for Cloud. He just-after the fucking strappy panties. It just flipped a switch in him. When he had been with Aerith it had gotten a little wild. He thought all of two seconds springing some of his milder interests on Cloud but…

Zack’s his first and Cloud has been more than enthusiastic, keeps up with him more than any of his ex’s ever had. He wanted to be considerate for a little longer. It’s still surprising to him sometimes. Zack's whole ‘moves too fast thing too.’ 

He still doesn’t want to push Cloud too much. But last week, he’d looked so good. If Zack starts off small. Cloud probably doesn’t even know if he would like something more adventurous. Not that Zack would call this adventurous, a bit more interesting. 

He can see Cloud getting bashful already. 

He takes the box under his arm and the rest of his mail from the week and sleepily goes back upstairs. 

They’ve slept in later and his apartment is nice and warm. He sighs when the heat returns to his body. Drops the mail on the counter and cuts open the small box. He stashes one of the lube bottles away down stairs and takes the other one and the small toys, cleans them quickly, and goes back up stairs. 

He’s not really planning on using them right away, bring it up to Cloud maybe later on during break. But the moment he’s standing by his bed and sees Cloud freshly showered, hair fluff sticking out from the comforter a heat runs down his shoulders. 

Cloud was sweet enough to think of him when he was at his maximum stress. Sex for him has always been an outlet, touch a comfort. While Cloud hasn’t outwardly said it’s the same for him, he always comes looking for Zack’s touch (no matter how tame).

The heat grows and he tosses all his newly purchased things onto the corner of the bed. Crawls over the sheets and over Cloud’s curled body. His cowlick is mostly sticking out from the covers. Zack pulls at the covers, smiling at Cloud’s hair falling around his face at the disturbance. 

He twists and sleepily looks up at Zack. 

“Fall back asleep huh?”

“Mmm-nope,” his sleepy tone betrays him. Zack chuckles, shoves the sheets down to his waist and lays over him. 

He’s even warmer than the apartment and his skin is soft from his recent shower. Looking up at him through his lashes. His lips pinker than normal and his hair falling into his eyes. Zack can’t help it, his cock stirs and thickens in his sweatpants. 

Recognition fickers in Cloud’s eyes and he shifts a little more so Zack settles into the space between his legs. Cloud tilts his neck slightly.

An invitation. Zack nearly goans aloud and surges in. Sucking a wet suction into the space just under Cloud’s ear. Tracing a short line with the base of his tongue down to the corner of his jaw. He buries his nose by his pulse in his neck and lingers on his skin. Sucking in and taking long wide tongue strokes over the bruises he’s putting there. Each nip and lapping motion pulls hushed moans that Zack loves.

The smallest noise wrapped with warmth and delighted pleasure. It falls into his rasp and clears at the high exhale. The shiver that runs through Cloud’s body after each one. It thickens his cock more. He’s not near close enough to Cloud. Needs their skin touching. 

Rushed and eager Zack pulls the rest of the sheets down and away, presses hard fingers into his hips and snags his nails on lace?

“Wha-” he pulls back and glances down between them. 

Delicate black lace panties sit high on Clouds hips, holding him in nicely and masking with sheer fabric the flush on his cock, in his skin. The contrast on him is even more stark then the strappy ones and these…

Zack swallows thickly. These have gentle draping fabric at the waistband that graze against Cloud's skin. The lace is soft with small designs that show just enough for Zack to ache with a need for more. 

Zack can feel his ears burn, probably getting red with bush, “When did you put thes-”

Cloud’s shifting his hips, probably not in an obscene way in general but Zack gets distracted immediately. Cuts himself off and feels his air get trapped in his lungs all at once. Cloud’s cock shifts under the lace, slipping out the top and throbs at Zack. Begs for his touch. 

“You liked it so much last time,” Cloud admits quietly. Body closing in with hesitation. 

Zack elbows down, keeping his thighs from closing.

“Don’t hide, _fuck,_ Cloud.” 

He doesn’t give him a chance to anyway. Hunches down and presses a hot kiss against Cloud’s twitching cock through the intricate lace. Small ones up his length and flattens his tongue across the head peeking out. Drawing out a shape and dipping into the slit. Tastes salty as Cloud jerks and spills out a drop of pre come. 

Hands dig into Zack’s hair as he tugs the panties down a bit to get more of Cloud’s cock free.Takes the whole of his head in his mouth and sucks hard, hollowing out his cheeks. Zack moans around him, feeling Cloud twitch and thicken a bit more. 

“Mm-nh, ah.”

Pressure from Cloud’s thighs closing in around him makes him chuckle. He pulls off, slides the tip of his tongue back and forth against the curve of his cock’s head, watches as Cloud arches, flooding Zack’s vision with his taut pale stomach and the dips of his rib cage. 

“Since you got me something,” Zack mutters, presses a kiss to Cloud’s stomach and reaches over to the lube and the toys. He was going to wait, but he just can’t. Cloud has been so fucking sweet to him. Putting on these little undies and letting him stare endlessly at him.

He grabs the bullet one only. It’s bigger than other ones Zack’s had in the past. But this one has a long connection to the remote, is all smooth with rubber and will fit well inside Cloud. Now...he can tuck the remote under the lace and just let the toy vibrate inside him. 

Ruin him. Fuck, Zack can’t wait to see his body shake and his lashes fluttering against his cheekbones. 

He slips off his sweats and shifts back to Cloud, pulling his legs up over his own thighs. Zack gets distracted by the pull of the lace over Cloud’s cock and balls as he spreads his legs. Watches the thinner fabric slip away and show Zack Cloud’s pucker. It twitches at him. 

“Fucking, god. Cloud, you look so sexy,” He sounds far off and wrecked, voice going horse. Reaches down to run his middle finger over Cloud’s entrance, up the sensitive skin to his cock, “Can I use this on you, Gorgeous?” 

He shows Cloud the toy, gently stroking over his quivering pucker as he waits for Cloud to decide.

“Is...is that-”

Zack laughs and leans down. Places a sweet kiss on Cloud’s lips in reassurance, “we don’t have too. I think you’ll like it though.”

“Um, o-okay,” Cloud’s eyes search over Zack’s face. His irises blown wide and he’s reached up to clutch at Zack’s arms. Biting into his lip with doubt.

Instead of trying to reassure him, he smiles sweetly and squeezes a hand full of lube out to spread over his fingers. Smears some on the bullet and reaches down again; coating inside Cloud generously with the lube. Drags a teasing single finger down the length of his cock as he goes. He gets a small high moan as a reward. 

“So, can I?” Zack asks.

He slips the remote into the hip point of the undies and presses the bullet against Cloud’s slicked pucker. Stares into his eyes and waits for permission. He seems hesitant still, unsure if he’ll like it. That’s fine, Zack will stop if he doesn’t want to. 

“Sure,” Cloud says, getting a bit lost in his own breathing already. 

He’s going to feel so good. Zack smiles, leans in for a fast kiss, and slips the toy inside Cloud. It pops inside him easily. Cloud’s tight walls fluttering around it and his fingers. Zack looms over him and watches his face twist from uncertain focus to a small jerk of confusion. He laughs lowly and leans down to whisper in Cloud’s ear.

“Hold on, it’ll feel good in just a sec.”

He keeps his fingers inside, pressing the bullet vibrator up against Cloud’s tight muscles, lower inside him, nestled just at the bundle of nerves there. Zack just knows, Cloud will be sensitive to the vibrations, he shakes apart from Zack’s gentle touches alone. 

It might be his favorite, taking Cloud apart so slowly. In the mid hours of the morning, shadows getting shorter. It's beautiful, the slow-growing moans that he can draw out of him. All from two fingers inside, resting against his prostate and pressing slowly. Harder each time with small, shallow drags across. He always tightens, when Zack milks is prostate, tries to suction his fingers inside him deeper. 

It’s the hottest fucking thing. How Cloud’s body wants a cock so badly. 

Not this time though. Not yet. He wants Cloud to warm up to the vibrations, take the new sensation easy. 

“Ready?” Zack curls his fingers inside Cloud, cupping the toy against him, and presses the remote control he’s tucked under the strap of Cloud’s cute little lacy undies.

Fuck, he’s just so lucky that the universe dropped Cloud into his life. 

The toy only has three levels of vibration, but they are powerful. A small buzzing fills the silence around them and Cloud jerks with his staggering, long inhale of air. Rushes his hand to grip at Zack’s forearm to hold onto. A weird mix of uncertainty and pleasure swimming in his eyes, like he’s trying to figure out if he likes it or not.

Zack helps him out, leans down for a wet, hot kiss. Shoving his tongue past his bitten lips and ever so slowly, drags the bullet back and forth in a small line against the most sensitive spot inside him. It’s immediate, the small whimpers from Cloud. He curls up toward Zack from the bed, legs spreading a little more and his body breaking out in tight small tremors. 

All of it goes straight to his cock. He’s already so hard and aching, after watching Cloud slip out of his clothes and reveal the tiny black lacy undies. 

Zack keeps Cloud this way. Looming over him, his thighs resting along Zack’s torso, framing his vision with pale smooth skin. He kisses the side of Cloud’s knee every time he arches roughly and whines loudly from too long stimulation from the toy. He only lets up a little, moves the bullet up deeper in him just enough to ease the direct pressure. Waits till he relaxes with those sweet blissed-out eye rolls before dragging the vibrato back into place and pressing in with his fingers. 

“That’s it, you’re doing so good, Cloud. Fuck, look at you. Feels good huh? Want a bit more?” Zack’s close to muttering nonsense at him. Just wants to see Cloud’s cock twitch under the black lace over and over from his voice. 

He also doesn’t wait for an answer, reaches back down to Cloud’s hip and turns the vibrator to the second level. The buzzing gets loud and Cloud’s jerk is so rough Zack has to quickly trap Cloud’s legs to stay over his shoulders, resting against his body. 

Cloud’s writhing hips only get worse with Zack limiting his movement. Shifts back and forth too much, trying to get away from the sudden rougher stimulation but then wanting the touch back. He arches into a beautiful line under Zack. His head rolling back with his eyes, neck exposed and stomach taut with too much. He’s too tempting to ignore. Zack leans down to lick a long line up the line between his softly shaped abs. He can feel the tightness and shaking of Cloud’s body under his tongue and it’s fucking amazing. Addicting, Cloud’s so addicting to him. Zack could spend a whole weekend pushing Cloud into pleasure like this. 

He deserves it and Zack wants to give him the whole world. 

An extra hard press with the toy pulsing sharply proves too much for Zack to keep his hold on Cloud. He jerks, twists up, his legs falling open. Down around Zack’s waist as he rushes up and curls close to him. Arms going tightly around Zack’s shoulders and burning his face into his neck. Gasping and shaking harder than Zack’s ever seen.

“I-I can’t...it’s too much, _please Zack_ ,” Cloud sobs. His cock dips out pre-come, smearing against Zack’s stomach and wetting the lace still plastered on Cloud’s skin. 

It’s not too much, Zack wants him to be wrecked, lost in a haze and incoherently muttering his name, so weakly as if Zack’s existence was his only tether to the world anymore. 

He slips his fingers out, feeling the tight ring of muscle try to keep him in. It just makes him even harder and Zack can’t wait any longer. He needs to bury his cock as deep as he can inside Cloud.

He knows the bullet should probably come out, but he’s so hot with a needy fever, Zack can’t really think too straight. Cloud’s wet and slick with lube, he only has to rub the head of his cock against his entrance a few times to coat himself enough. Just as he’s pressing in, Zack reaches around and loops the rubber string attached to the toy around his fingers, keeping it in place as he slides inside Cloud. 

It’s a bit strange, feeling the bullet shift and press inside Cloud as his cock stretches him. But the vibrations pulse nicely against his cock and as he bottoms out, he lets go of the string. Cloud’s twitching around him, tightening against the added intrusion and spasming from the stretch and the throbbing of the toy.

“Fuck, you tightened up so much for me,” Zack gasps out against Cloud’s cheek. He wraps his arms tightly around his waist, hikes him up and closer to him, so he settles into his lap at the perfect angle for Zack to roll his hips in short tight circles. 

In long upwards motions, he moves their bodies, contrasts his hips rolls, pushes up deeply in Cloud with every thrust. The bullet slides along his cock nicely, trapped against Cloud’s prostate. He’s whimpering and sobbing against Zack, his whole body going weak with pleasure. He can barely hang on to him any longer. 

It’s fine, Zack isn’t going to last long anyway. Blindly, he skirts his hand down Cloud’s side to find the remote still tucked in the lacy undies and presses for the highest level. 

It’s a fucking explosion, the vibrations pulse wildly and offbeat, rough and spastic and so _fast_. It even feels almost too much against Zack’s cock. Cloud shouts, a scream loud in Zack’s ear, raspy and breaks in the middle. His body shoving forward, writhes violently against him, and shakes so hard his muscles tense all over. 

Zack feels Cloud come, a hot sudden wetness over his torso. It’s a lot, so much drenches the lace over his cock and Zack’s skin. Pushes him over the edge. A good final thrust into Cloud and he spills just as much inside him. The bullet becomes too much all at once and Zack reaches down again to switch it off completely. 

Only after he comes down from his orgasm, does he notice Cloud has gone completely limp in his lap. 

“Cloud?” He breathes out through his gasping.

 _Fuck_ , he blacked out. Zack’s careful as he lays him back down onto the bed, slipping out of him and gently pulling the toy out with the string. It pops out of him obscenely, dragging some of Zack’s come with it. 

Almost impossibly, his cock twitches in interest again.

“Down boy,” he mutters to himself. His voice stirs Cloud. He wakes groggily with a small inhale and reaches out for Zack.

“Zack…” he sounds happy, blissed out and all teary still. 

Zack laughs quietly, arranges them so he can cover the length of Cloud’s body with his own. Pushing back his damp hair from his eyes, Zack looks down at him fondly.

“You okay there?” He whispers, feels wrong to talk so loud in their moment of intimacy. 

“Mmm,” humming quietly, Cloud leans into Zack’s touch. It’s sweet, his small noises and lip bites. 

“Like the toy then?” Zack just wants to make sure, as if the blacking out orgasm wasn’t enough to let him know.

Some people, in his experience, don’t like intense orgasms. 

Cloud flushes, stares at Zack’s jawline, “y-yeah,” he admits. 

Zack’s heart clenches. It’s almost unbearably endearing, Cloud’s shyness clashing with an odd contrast of confidence. 

Weariness comes out of nowhere for both of them. Crashes over Zack so quickly it’s an effort to slide the lacy undies off Cloud so he’ll be more comfortable. Neither of them bother cleaning up. They just crash against each other and cuddle close, falling into sleep for a day time nap the moment they settle into the mattress again. 

***

It’s two weeks of cuddling, sleeping in late and fucking whenever they feel. Free from stress and too much time on their hands. Zack can’t get enough of it. Can’t get enough of Cloud. 

He’s relieved that his stress from finals hasn’t cut into his break. No lingering forgetful episodes. His knee acts up, but it’s almost winter. Besides, Zack will spend all day with Cloud in his lap, rubbing at the injured joint to ease the ache. Anything to see his face relax into softness. 

It’s a few days before the holiday and Cloud has increasingly been getting more nervous about staying over at Angeal’s place. Zack’s asked him multiple times if he wants to just stay at the apartment instead. Gets snapped at for it. But Zack brushes it off. Cloud’s already bad at talking. With new people it’s worse. And one of them is his old professor. 

On the coldest day yet they wake up and pack a few overnight clothes. Just the weekend, a few days before holiday and the day after. They stop at Cloud’s place on the way to get his things. Zack really doubts he needs as many clothes as he packs. He’s claimed Zack’s navy hoodie to protect himself from the cold and he doubts he’ll give it up the whole weekend. 

He’s not bitter though, whenever he manages to beat Cloud to it, it always smells like him. Coffee and a sweet vanilla. Lately, he smells a bit more like the sandalwood soap Zack uses. It makes him oddly happy.

Angeal lives at the edge of campus. In a quieter nicer neighborhood with fewer students renting out houses. They walk close. Zack capturing Cloud’s hand halfway and loops their fingers together. He’s excited but he tries to contain it so Cloud doesn’t get more nervous. 

Angeal’s house is last on the street. It’s still early in the day but the place is covered in delicate little white lights. Sephiroth’s doing. He has a particular way of putting out all the lights and the wreaths. Set perfectly and lined up symmetrical. One massive snow dusted wreath on the garage and a smaller light covered one on the front door. No crazy colors, but neutral fir branches and pinecones. 

When Sephiroth had first started dating Angeal, Zack hated it. He didn’t want anyone coming in and changing the set routine between them. 

He likes it now though and Cloud seems to be eased at the house all prettied up. Looks in season with the light dusting of frost all over. Zack wonders if they go all out in Nibelheim, with the amount of snow the little mountain town gets.

Zack doesn’t bother knocking on the door, Angeal had texted earlier saying the door was open. 

“Come on,” Zack says as he pushes right in, tugs at Cloud’s hand, “Angeal’s the only one home right now.”

A warm draft rushes at them and the familiar smell of honey scones and jam drift from the kitchen that’s right to the side. Sephiroth’s already started his holiday baking then. It’s the same, a smaller house with deep tones and exposed brick. Similar to the apartment interior but a little more delicate. There’s a large fir tree standing in the far corner next to the fireplace, covered in little lights to match the outside. 

“Angeal!” Zack calls out, but he doesn’t respond. Probably in the back of the house in his office.

Cloud lingers behind him in the doorway. Shuffles his feet and adjusts the strap of his backpack on his shoulder. Overly shy all of a sudden. Zack tries his best not to smile too widely, it’s cute. His lowered gaze, hiding behind his hair. Zack brushes his bangs aside and tugs lightly on the longest strains next to his jaw.

“It’s okay,” He says. Takes Cloud’s hands in his and pulls him into his body. Wraps his arms around his shoulders and presses his lips hard against his temple, “Just like the apartment. Angeal and Seph aren’t intrusive. They just want to meet you, but they tend to stick to themselves.” 

Well, Sephiroth might be a bit more aggressive, but technically he’s already met Cloud. Taught him for a whole term. 

Zack holds Cloud to him until he tentatively wraps his arms around his waist. Presses his nose into Zack’s shoulder, tickling his jaw with his hair. Cloud inhales deeply a few times and squeezes Zack’s waist. He can feel him shaking a little. 

“Hey,” Zack whispers into his hair, “You having a bad day? It’s okay. I’m sorry. I...don’t want to overwhelm you.”

Cloud huffs, presses more into his body, leaning hard, “you’re not.”

“Clo-”

“-Zack,” Angeal’s voice drifts from behind them. He comes out from the hallway to the right, looking a little tired, “you’re early. Good, Y-oh.”

Zack has to laugh a little. Did he not think Cloud would be with him? 

“Come on,” he says under his breath to Cloud, pulls back and tugs at his hand, “Hey, man, you think I’m not coming early to steal Seph’s leftovers?” 

Angeal laughs, “He won’t be around the rest of the day to notice.”

He softens as Cloud shifts a bit behind Zack, falling into his reserved nature. 

“Hello, are you the one distracting Zack from his studies?”

Oh-fucking god. _No_ , Angeal. Not cool man. He thinks. He can _feel_ Cloud stiffen behind him. 

“I…” Cloud hesitates, not sure how to read Angeal. The teasing is obvious, but Zack remembers Cloud stuttering his way through their meeting. All low eyes and uncomfortable tense shoulders. 

“It’s Cloud, right?” Angeal laughs again, warmer and softer this time. 

“Mm,” Cloud presses closer to Zack, using him as a shield. Great. Angeal’s not really making a good impression. 

“Yeah,” Zack says, slips his hand into Cloud’s and tugs him against his body, “this is Cloud. _Maybe_ be a little nicer, Angeal.”

He teases him back and gets laughed at. 

“Sorry, Zack mentioned you’re shy,” Oh my god, no. _Not cool at all_ , “you boys go set up, you can have Seph’s scones when you’re done.” 

Cloud is probably eager to get away from Angeal so Zack leads him down the hall. He stays in his old bedroom all the time, but it’s been changed into a guest room a few years ago. Still feels like his though. Just without all his stuff. Same bed, same sheets. The lamb he half broke is still on the bedside table and all the bookshelves are the same.

They are just filled with Seph’s cookbooks and Angeal’s old wartime novels and woodworking books. 

“Sorry about Angeal,” Zack says immediately. Takes Cloud’s backpack and tosses both his and Cloud’s onto the bed, “he’s just teasing you.”

Cloud ‘mhpms’. Stares at the floor. 

“Cloud, you okay?” 

Silence stretches out, too long for Cloud to be upset and too blank to be nervous. 

“Yes,” his face hardens, “I’m fine sorry. I’ll try….more.”

“You know, I don’t want you to think you have to do this for me.”

It’s the wrong thing to say. Cloud’s frown deepens. 

“I want to.”

He wants to because Zack asked him? Or...Zack feels a pang of guilt. Hates the confliction on Cloud’s face. 

“Cloud-”

“-No. I want to,” Cloud’s voice raises, gets clear. He steps close and reaches up to take Zack’s face in his hands. Yanks him down to his eye level and smooshes his cheeks faintly, “I’m fine. I love you. I want to know about your life.”

Zack feels his ears burn and his chest shoves a million butterflies into his stomach. Surging forward he kisses Cloud with a too fast bump and their teeth knock gently. Doesn’t stop him pressing on, yanking Cloud against him. They laugh against each other’s lips and push and lean with giddy touches. 

It feels incredible hearing Cloud so confidently admit his love for him. Look at him with honesty shining in his eyes. 

“Okay,” Zack says into his skin, “Okay. Sorry, I just don’t want you to force yourself.”

“I’m not. Really.”

Zack blinds him with a smile and he squishes Cloud against him tightly, wiggles back and forth until he’s laughing into his neck. 

The nervous tension leaves both of them and Zack finally feels like he’s come back home for the holidays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't lying, there is so much smut. I just....I have no excuse except maybe....Cloud in ladies panties is way too fucking hot. So, sorry....not sorry? 
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> See Ya In The Fall


	4. It's looking alot like--uhhh cold.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the start of the Holidays~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UH OKAY I AM SORRY, I DID IT AGAIN. I....added yet another chapter after this. SIGHS. So it's longer. I know I am dragging it out, I just...there's so much SMUT and I just want to write more. XD
> 
> Happy Reading!

Zack wakes to a cold empty space next to him in a bed he hasn’t slept in for a few years. He went to bed with Cloud’s warm lithe body and without him into the early hours of the next day, Zack’s disoriented. He lays still for a long moment, breathing in the cold air that he doesn’t really want to expose his body to yet. 

But...he also misses Cloud, s-o. Brave the frigid air it is. 

It's pretty quiet in the house, more than Angeal usually has it. Just means he’s asleep. Zack can’t ever hear Sephiroth making noise so it’s the normal jump scare-risk, walking around the house this early. He pulls his lucky navy hoodie on for warmth and shivers as his bare feet touch the wood floors. Maybe he’ll start the fire first before he goes hunting around. 

It’s not a huge house anyway and he can’t imagine Cloud being comfortable enough to just start wandering. Probably is just in the bathroom down the hall. Quickly, Zack whips out his phone from his hoodie pocket and sends off a short text ‘in the living room/kitchen.’ 

Barely gets it repocketed before he rounds the hallway corner and stops short. 

The fire is already crackling in the fireplace close to him, a faint glow in the living room. Just adds to the lush fluffy tree covered in soft white lights in the far corner. It’s not the slowly growing warmth or the pretty, perfectly placed holiday decorations that stop him in his tracks. 

It’s who is in the open layout kitchen. Cloud and….Sephiroth. 

He’s standing at the stovetop frowning down at the pan he’s got a grasp on. Sephiroth close at his shoulder, leaning just slightly, and murmurs something in a voice usually reserved for Angeal or when Zack is sick or in pain. 

Besides that it’s weirding him out that Seph is being so gentle with Cloud, the need for it worries him. 

Watching Cloud closer, he sees the slight tremor in his hands. The tight, almost panicked line his lips are pressed into. 

Shit. He must have woken up and not known where he was. Zack hadn’t bothered to check with Angeal if he had mentioned to Sephiroth about Cloud’s past. Judging by the rare gentle eyes and the soft touch to the middle of Cloud’s shoulders, Angeal had. 

Still, Zack feels a wash of anxiousness wash over him. He doesn’t like that Cloud didn’t wake him, or that he was probably in the middle of a panic attack when running into Sephiroth in an unfamiliar house. 

He makes a low sound in his throat on accident and strides around the large, bulky furniture towards the kitchen. 

Sephiroth hears him first. _Of course._ Looks up sharply and frowns at him, says something under his breath to Cloud and meets Zack halfway. It’s not alarming for Cloud, whatever Seph had said. He nods determinedly and seems to regain more focus. Jiggles the pan back and forth a bit over the flame. 

“Zack,” Seph says, hushed tones. He takes Zack’s shoulder and turns him in towards him. Trying to shield their voices from reaching Cloud, “signs of his incoming episodes would be nice to kn-”

Oh of course _this too_. Seph never fails to critique him, but not on this. Zack’s not perfect but he thinks he handles Cloud’s episodes pretty well. Catches them near half the time.

“Are you fuckin’ kidding me Se-” Zack grits through his teeth, eyeing Cloud for signs he overhears their bickering.

Sephiroth squeezes his shoulder, thumb pressing into the pressure point by his neck, “Easy, Zackary. Just so I am aware myself. Angeal was rather flippant about Cloud’s…condition.”

Because Zack was. It’s not up to him to spill all the things Cloud can barely talk to him about. But it’s also not fair...for Angeal and Seph to deal with it without any direction. Zack sighs, deflates all his anger immediately.

“How bad?” He can do some damage control. Cloud looks okay. Tension in his shoulders but he’s not curled up anywhere or hiding. 

Seph huffs, “I do not know. Seemed to not recognize the house. Knows me though.”

That tells Zack nothing. Just that it’s not a terrible episode.

“Okay, and you have him cooking?” It’s hard to keep the accusing tone out of his voice. He’s never completely warmed to Sephiroth. They still bicker easily. Angeal still tells him it's Zack being stubborn.

The second sigh he gets from Sephiroth means the older man doesn’t want to deal with Zack’s quick hot-headedness right now. 

“Simple tasks are quick to ease stress. He seemed to remember enough to work out where he was.”

Zack frowns some more. He can’t picture Sephiroth being so understanding and gentle with Cloud when he’s constantly rolling his eyes with Zack. But, the tension in Cloud’s shoulders aren’t like his ‘I hate this person’ structure. And he’s easing as he watches over the food on the stove. Reaches with less shaking hands for the spices Sephiroth has laid out on the counter. 

The pull to continue to argue with Sephiroth is spoiled by him dismissing Zack’s concerns with a light, short grunt and a swift turn about. It’s just another surprise that Sephiroth goes right back to Cloud. 

“Turn the heat down, rest for a few minutes,” he’s saying. Cloud nods, still a bit dazed in his eyes. 

When he looks up it fades completely, even as an embarrassed blush crosses his nose. Zack’s come to know him so well; the slightest frown that pulls too low on one side, or the barely there eye twitch in his left eye. Small signs of traumatic stress. Even when he’s out of an episode, they linger in his body. 

Zack eyes Sephiroth for a bit longer as he presses a kiss into the side of Cloud’s head. Slides an arm to rest on his waist and stares over his shoulder into the messy pan of...eggs? Messy, tined from chili powder scrambled eggs. Getting fluffier and thicker by the second. 

“Scramble more, you wait too long they won’t stay fluffy.” 

Seph is...actually teaching Cloud how to cook. (also he can’t believe Sephiroth just said ‘fluffy’ in such a serious tone.) He tries not to get irritated again. Of course, Sephiroth would pick any time to lord over his knowledge. Zack holds in his huff and hooks his chin on Cloud’s shoulder.

“More chili powder,” He says into his ear, “extra spicy.”

“No, “ How can Seph hear him? He's all the way across the kitchen rummaging around in the fridge, “don’t over power. It ruins the palette.”

Ugh.

“Zack,” Cloud says softly. Amused tone leaking through his quiet recovery, “shush, you trying to fail me?”

He’s still a little sleepy and slow but Seph’s rare bright laugh rings as a surprise. 

“No F’s, just a little pen throwing,” Sephiroth says. It makes Cloud tense for a second, stuck on figuring out Sephiroth’s dull tones. 

Zack even has a hard time telling when he’s kidding. But Cloud snorts out a chuckle and turns the heat off. 

“I think the eggs are done.”

They both get shooed away then, with a hot oily grease plate full of breakfast sausage and bacon and Zack groans and flashes sad eyes as they move to the table. He’s starving and also feels a little bad now. Seph’s been making Zack’s favorite, breakfast sandwiches, terrible, buttery amazing ones. 

He’ll have to suck up to him for a little while. 

For being so understanding with Cloud too. Zack can see the last of his episode fading. He doesn’t doubt there will be fogginess and long pauses in between answers but the shadows are gone. 

Angeal comes out just as Sephiroth is placing all the food on the table. Shares a look with him that doesn’t go over Zack’s head and he feels another red heat flush his ears. Never fails, that feeling of missing something that makes him feel like a kid again. 

Whatever, he’s got Cloud this time around to keep him distracted. 

And he does. 

They spend the whole day lazy and curled against each other on the couch. Zack stretched out and ear firmly placed against Cloud’s chest. Rubbing at his bad knee every so often when the fire starts to die down. He won’t want to spend the Holiday any other way. Content to be pressed against Cloud, fingers carding through his hair and the soft murmur of the two people who watched after him low in the house. 

It's similar for the rest of the days leading up to the actual Holiday. More close cuddles and surprisingly ease of conversation. Sephiroth whisks Cloud away from Zack for at least one meal each day and Zack finds it a little hard to keep being annoyed. 

Cloud looks so cute, focusing hard on listening to Seph and the happy widening of his eyes when Sephiroth praises him for doing a good job. (Zack’s not a bit jealous, Seph is so aggressive when he even comes near the stove.)

It’s more than Zack could have asked for. Cloud being comfortable with Angeal and Sephiroth. They don’t do so much over-bearing interrogation either. Mindful of Zack’s warning about Cloud’s shyness and past. 

He’s still ready for a semi-melt down and probably some kind of cold shoulder between them.

But...it’s hard not to be impressed with Sephiroth’s mild and polite tone. 

***

Early morning the next day brings an even colder chill; freezing the rooms and tempting snow. Zack wakes from the stillness outside; in the early morning hours before sunrise. It’s still for just frost, the cold crawling inside in the dead of night. Angeal and Seph like a cold house so they can use their old brick fireplace all day. Keeps the heat off most days in winter. Zack’s forgotten how cold it gets in Midgar. He usually has the heat blasting all day once the first frost starts showing up on campus. 

Here at Angeal’s, he can feel the cold in his bones. The extra blankets don’t help at all. Makes him feel too young, brings back memories of curling up alone in his room. Staring at the wall and being angry at his parents. 

Zack sighs; shivers and twists around. Cloud’s tufts of blonde hair are sticking out from the comforter. Looking too soft and fluffy to ignore. Zack scoots closer. Dips under the covers completely and hauls his body closer. Slipping his arms around Cloud’s chest Zack snuggles down into Cloud’s neck. Plasters his body along his warm form. Tucks him into the curve of his torso and holds tight. 

The chill doesn’t really leave but the coldness deep in his skin seeps away. He sighs into Cloud’s skin. It’s much better now, even with the cold drafts lingering. A few minutes pressed against Cloud and the cold starts to return. Colder than he was a few moments before. It’s snowing outside for sure. Zack’s only felt that quiet and crisp in the house when the world is blanketed in a winter white. 

He sighs again and drags his hands down Cloud’s stomach, looking for more warmth for his hands. Traces Cloud’s stomach gently, he’s been getting more toned, tighter from his morning situps and crunches. Frowns disadpointly when Zack spends too long tracing over his forming muscles. He knows it bothers Cloud that he hasn’t gained back his strength completely. Catches him in the mirror sometimes, staring harshly at himself. 

He spends a little longer, while Cloud’s deep in his sleep, touching the dips and the rises of his body. Slides his hands lower for the warm and brushes over the waistband of his boxer-briefs.

It’s surprisingly the simplest things that can get Zack hard in an instant. He’s never really had that with anyone. With Cloud, all he needs is a soft look or a brush of his arm. A fading scent from his lingering coffee drink and Zack’s own body wash. 

In the hushed morning it’s a sleepy inhale, filling with lust that thickens Zack’s cock. He throbs instantly at Cloud’s tiny murmur. Reaches down just a bit more to cup at Cloud through the soft fabric and pulls his body even closer to him. Nestling his ass tight against his cock. 

“Mm- _ah_ ,” Cloud arches with his touch. Rocking back into Zack with a tight tiny hip drag. He’s barely awake but he ruts against Zack in slow thrusts. 

The cold is already leaving him. Blood getting hot in his veins. He cups Cloud harder. Draws another gasp from him. Louder this time, bringing him more into the morning. 

Zack dips his hand into Cloud’s boxer-briefs, runs his fingers over Cloud’s half interested cock. Cloud jerks under his touch, gasps loudly.

“C-cold, mmm,” He twists halfway, trying to shuffle away from Zack’s touch. 

He’s so warm under him. Cozy and his skin is still soft from a late shower. 

“Yeah, it’s freezing. Warm me up?” Zack says under his breath. He’ll have to stop using that excuse one day but as long as Cloud lets him get away with it, he’ll take it. He curls down over Cloud, keeping him from pulling away from his cold hands.

Cloud shivers and moans at Zack’s hardening touch. He takes Cloud in his hand, strokes up and down, slow and tight. Feels him twitch and grow against his palm. Pressed in close he keeps Cloud still with a grip on his hips. Only lets him roll back against his own aching cock. 

The room fills with his small moans and whimpers under Zack’s warming touch. Stark and the only thing Zack can focus on. Needs more of them, louder and raspier. He rotates his hand over the swollen head of his cock. Thumbs over his slit until he’s shivering from lust rather than the cold. He changes between stroking down his length and rubbing the soft, sensitive skin. Over and over, harder each time until Cloud drips out precome. 

“Z-Zack,” Cloud whimpers loudly, with the rasp Zack is looking for. Sends a jolt in his body and he needs to be inside him desperately. 

“Can I give you a present?” he says with an impish tilt in his voice. Low in Cloud’s ear.

Cloud stills a bit in judgment, turns to look the best he can over his shoulder.

“A-ar-ahh you kiddi- _Zack_ , if you sa-ah- your dic-”

Zack rocks forward with a fast stroke down Cloud’s cock, enveloping him in a tight grip, cuts him off and pulls a sweet long moan from him. It’s deep and raspier than before. A rumble in his throat that he tries to contain. 

“No, no Gorgeous, don’t be quiet. I need to hear you.” He does. Zack _really_ needs to hear him. In the stillness Cloud’s voice is honey to his ears. Sticky and breathy, clear and raspy all at once. It resonates in Zack’s chest as if it’s his own. 

He reaches blindy for the lube he knows got stuck under their covers. Feels it after patting around a few times. Slipping open the top and pouring some out-one handed-leaves a mess behind, but Zack plans on making a bigger one anyway. Hovers over his entrance just long enough for a needy sigh to fall from Cloud’s lips. 

“Can I?” Zack whispers again. He can’t bring himself to talk louder, wants to hear Cloud’s voice alone in the still dark. 

Cloud’s judgmental stare twists back to him. Get his almost full gaze as he leans his head back on his shoulder. Settles in the crook next to his jaw and pushes against Zack’s ear, moaning. Spreads his legs for Zack without an answer. 

Zack rotates them to pull Cloud over-half onto his body- he can get his fingers better positioned. Cup down past his cock and slide his middle and ring finger knuckle deep inside Cloud. A gentle pressure with his other hand on Cloud’s now taught pulled stomach keeps him in place. Inside him is so warm already. Zack slicks up his tight walls with the lube. Deep strokes and walks his fingers down along Cloud’s spasming muscles. 

He laughs lowly and smiles against Cloud’s cheek, soaking in the increasingly breathy gasps as Zack slowly pumps his fingers in and out of Cloud. Drags teasingly up, dipping out from his pucker to rub over him a few times. Teasingly dipping the tips of his fingers inside him as he traces the tender skin around his entrance. 

Forever. He could do this forever. Hold Cloud against him and feel his body exhale with his moans. Feel the vibration from his voice against his cheek, the trembling getting stronger in his limbs. Pushing his fingers into his tight warm body, stare at the flush over his pale skin. The twitching in his thighs every time Zack pulls his fingers back. Can’t get enough of it. He has to take in anything Cloud will give him. 

The thought and a loud-almost shout from Cloud yanks the growing fondness from Zack. Too fast he can’t really contain himself any more. How can he ever? Everyday, he finds it harder and harder to keep himself from Cloud. Every minute he wants to be touching him, making him sigh in pleasure and smile in softness. Used to be, he needed sex. Needed the contact of another person to feel...wanted. 

If Cloud didn’t want any of his advancements ever again. He’d be happy just holding him in his arms, letting him hide in his shoulder, taking the warmth from his body.

“Zack.” He’s lucky then. Gets to take in Cloud saying his name like that. Surrounded in a low scratch, barely even gets the last harsh constants out. Lost it all in his needy breaths. So full of desperation and trust. 

The warmth low in Zack’s stomach grows and his cock hardens more with Cloud’s gentle voice. With the barely there pressure of his rocking hips, trying to pull Zack’s fingers inside him deeper. 

He can do that though. He can go deeper for him. 

Rolling them once more the covers trap them to the mattress. The heat from their bodies and from their passion finally chasing away all the chill in Zack’s body. 

Tucking Cloud under him, Zack maneuvers them down the bed. Presses his chest down into the mattress with his forearm and hikes his hips up. Murmuring “good boy,” against Cloud’s ear as his knees slide apart. Giving Zack the perfect reach to slip his fingers down the swell of his ass. Tease along his crack and probe at his pucker. This way, he can hold Cloud down with his weight. Keep him still. Tease him until….

Fuck. Tease him until he cries for Zack to shove his cock in him. He swallows hard at the random aggressive need. Throbs at the anticipation of Cloud’s voice breaking with lust and fog. Biting into his lip helps Zack from thrusting his fingers back inside too hard. Manages the slow slide inside, a light curl to stroke against the nerve endings inside Cloud. 

He won’t tease him for long now. Not with his ass so perfectly in the air and his gasps descending into whimpers. Zack keeps his fingers in deep, spreads them and jerks into him. Thrusting without pulling out of him. A deep vibration in him. Faster and faster, more shallow so the intensity stays in a concentrated spot. All his force from his shoulder, locked into his elbow and shoved down from his wrist. 

Every time Cloud arches back against him, pushes his hips down on Zack’s fingers greedily, Zack feels a burst of brightness in him. Laughs deeply against Cloud’s ear and changes his pulsing rhythm to even harder. 

Still looking for those tears. He’s close. The tightest of his hands tangled in the sheets, twisting the fabric. His moans loud and high- broken in between. Makes his cock twitch but it’s still not the sounds he wants. 

The needy silence within his rasp. That’s what Zack needs. 

He just needs to find the right-

“Mm-ah- _ahh_ ,” There, he’s almost _there_ . Tighter and tighter around Zack’s fingers, “Nngh- _AH_ .” 

Cloud jerks forward hard, trying to get away from the too much pressure now that Zack has found just the right spot. Just under the small bundle of nerves. Where he can dig into his skin, get a little under with warm, slick, hard jabs; fast. So brutal Cloud’s voice cracks almost painfully. Cuts off his screams. Sends shivers all down his body as he twists away from Zack’s grip. 

He won’t let him go of course. Tugs him up so his leverage is thrown off and he can’t move an inch from Zack’s bulk. 

“Hold on, babe, comme’he,” Zack can’t stop his slurring. The ache in his cock finally overwhelming him. Getting stronger with each keen Cloud can’t hold in anymore. 

Twisting as far as his wrist will let him Zack manages to shove in a third finger, sliding along all his nerve endings around his entrance. He can see the shock and the jolt of pleasure shoot through Cloud’s body. Writhes in any direction he can and breaks out in a sweat. Stills with a choking sound and a soft ripping hides under it all as Cloud jerks with the aftershocks of his orgasm. Tears the sheets and lets out a sob so exhausted and destroyed it stings Zack’s heart too. A pull between affection and an ache. 

“Sh-shh, okay, okay, you’re okay,” Zack whispers. He lets go of Cloud; hovering over him to drag his lips tenderly down the back of his neck. The middle of his shoulder blades. His spine. Drinks in his sobs and his shaking, whining and twitching into euphoria. 

He’s beautiful like this. So soft and vulnerable and Zack feels fiercely protective for no reason. Doubles down over him, cages him in with his thighs and his arms. 

He’ll wait until Cloud’s tears slow a bit and his shaking eases, to slide inside him. He needs it badly. His own cock harder than he’s been in awhile, already dripping. Rests against him with his cock resting on the swell of Cloud’s ass. The warmth of his body is so tempting. 

“Easy babe easy, you alright?” 

“F-Fuck, I-I can’t move,” Cloud says so softly into the sheets. Voice beyond recognition, cracked and strained. 

Zack’s cock twitches against his skin. He needs to wreck it more. 

A small shift and that’s all it takes. The heat from Cloud’s body pulling him down into a foggy haze. Zack grasps his cock, rubs his tip against Cloud’s entrance a few times before pushing in. 

The gasp ripped from him makes Zack shake and he slides inside his tight hole faster then he means too. Pushing Cloud has always tempted him, wants to bring him to a shattering point and then punch through his walls and break him. He has nearly this time, by the tightening Cloud does around him as he thrusts in. His skin begs him to touch. Wrapping an arm under his chest, Zack bows Cloud’s body to him more, adjusting their height to ram inside him lower. At the angle that puts the most force against his prostate. For the longest time. 

He’s not back on his knees enough to slam too fast, so he goes for hard instead. Rolls his hips wide, rocking up on the uptick and slamming all the way inside Cloud. His body overly tight and sucking him in. Doesn’t want to let him go. Cloud’s shouts are jarring and his tense shoulders bunching his muscles in dips. Every thrust causes his voice to break a bit more.

...More than before. Ruining him. It pulls Zack’s own from deep in his chest low and husky. His hips eager to bury his cock in all the heat and wetness. His thrusts end so strongly the bed shifts and shifts. Starts creaking against the wall, a second behind his movements. He barely registers it. Picks up his pace and moans; gritty and deep.

Staying inside Cloud forever feels so right. He can’t get enough, ever. Feels new and better every time. Zack feels his own tears, Cloud still has streaming down his face, breaking up his voice. The overly intense emotion in him comes out of nowhere and he can’t think of anything but how much he loves this man below him. Everything, his blissed out roll of his eyes. His shake in his arms. His delicate voice in the morning. His sigh in the evening. 

Zack’s fallen too hard and he never wants to get back up. 

His own hand shakes as he stills inside Cloud and rocks hard, the whole bed moving around them. The covers keep in their heat, mingling together. Zack reaches up, slotting his hand over Cloud’s knuckles in a loose hand grasp and comes so hard he can’t see past the blurry gaze of pale skin in the dark and fluffy blonde hair. 

Their gasps sync together as Zack stays inside Cloud as long as his softening cock will let him. Lays over him with his face shoved into the nape of his neck. He links their almost holding hands together, squeezes tightly and mouths at his skin on his neck. Even their tremors shake together. 

“...Cloud,” Zack murmurs against the little hairs on his nape. Shifts so he can gather Cloud in his arms and roll them. It knocks the covers off enough to let the cold back in, “shit, s-sorry.”

He stutters on his words. Brushes at Cloud’s cheek and wipes at the tear tracks there. Cloud smiles lazily at him, makes his thumb rise with the movement. 

“Zack,” he even chuckles lowly, “don’t be.”

He is a little sorry, Cloud’s a mess. Still shaking in his arms. He reaches up at him, taps lightly against Zack’s scar. For some reason it makes his eyes sting, the gentle touch. 

Zack still manages a watery laugh that gets clearer the longer Cloud traces his scar. 

“Are you happy now?” Cloud drawls at him. His smile stays soft on his lips even as he presses his thumb a little harder into Zack’s cheek.

“Uh?” Zack blinks at him.

“Warm-are you warmer now?” Cloud’s falling back into a deep blush. Already leaning in and shoving his face into Zack’s neck to hide. 

Oh-Zack can’t stop the grin on his face. Encloses his arms over Cloud’s shoulders and mashes his cheek into his hair. He is way warmer. Rolls them so he can tuck Cloud against his side more comfortably and pulls the covers back around them. Tucking the far side in under their bodies to let their still lust-fevered bodies keep the chill out. 

He rocks them back and forth in tight silly motions “yeah short stuff-way warmer. You better not crawl away from me this time.” 

Cloud huffs against his skin but resettles and snakes his arms around his back. They breathe together; lazily laying their bodies until the cold does start to steep in. Draws them even closer and snuggling down into each other's skins until they stay warm enough to fall back asleep.

A few hours later, Zack is dragging a blurry-eyed Cloud down the hall, soft crackling of the fireplace in the living room filling his ears. 

It’s the same every holiday. Early in the morning Sephiroth wakes up early and cooks way too much food for the three of them. Has the fire going before he starts and makes sure all the lights on the tree and on their mantle are on. A perfect, low light, symmetrical holiday home. With the tree matching and the outside just as delicate as the inside. 

It’s the weirdest quirk about Sephiroth. More than the aggressive need he has for everyone in his life to be able to cook amazingly. Zack’s still not sure Angeal isn’t bothered by either of them, no matter how many times he denies it. Just from the look on his face when Sephiroth critiques his breakfast cooking-every-single-morning. Zack knows it still happens, easily-he doesn’t need to be home to know. Not with the way Angeal will sigh in defeat over their sometimes morning calls. 

Even now, Zack catches the slight eye twitch from Angeal as Sephiroth re-arranges the plates he’d set down to be more aesthetically pleasing. Zack snorts and taps at Cloud’s back to get him moving a little faster. 

“Morning boys,” Angeal says as they slip down into their seats. He’s eyeing the both of them with a glint Zack is too used to. 

It’s still too early for whatever Angeal is going to tease him about. Sleepily ignoring him and letting the heat from Cloud’s body soak into his side Zack occupies himself the gathering food.

“Mornin,” Cloud mumbles out, still trying to give a good, overly polite impression. It’s cute, even if it means Zack has to suffer through Cloud’s pouty morning attitude alone.

Sephiroth huffs out a quiet laugh that stiffens Cloud’s body along Zack’s, “Sleep alright?”

Narrowing his eyes suspiciously, “yeah fine,” Zack says. Seph’s not a conversation starter and the little low laugh isn’t very common either. 

Angeal coughs into his coffee. 

What? Zack’s not taking his eyes off either of them as they share their own amused look. It’s subtle and fast, but Zack’s back gets that prickling feeling when someone makes fun of him. 

“Mmm, not too much noise?” Sephiroth asks Cloud, specifically, looks right at him and - _oh fucking_ -Cloud goes bright red and leans away from Zack. No, oh my god, no seriously _not cool_ , how can they do this- he told them Cloud was _shy._

Full blown embarrassment melt down comes on. Zack can tell in the way Cloud’s hunching in away from Zack with glaring eyes and a deep red on his face. Falling into his bashfulness completely.

“Ha ha,” Zack mock laughs, preses his thigh against Cloud. There’s no way they heard them. It was late and they both sleep like the dead. Besides...Cloud’s not that loud.

The flush on his face is telling him otherwise. Huh, he’s never noticed, too wrapped up in his actual sounds to notice the volume. 

“You should learn to let people rest, Zackary,” Angeal says half way through his mocking laugh. 

It manages the rare heat flaring in his ears. Cloud snorts and falls back into his side. Fine, he’ll take the jab, only because Cloud thinks it’s funny and that’s just way to fucking cute. If Angeal and Sephiroth keep up the teasing with their matching, dumb smirks Cloud won’t stay this way.

Luckily, Angeal knows how to read a room. Clears his throat and goes a bit more serious. 

“Alright, I have something to discuss actually,” He says. Cloud simmers down but Zack knows this game. Angeal likes to think his ‘serious talk time’ is a good reflection for surprise presents. 

Zack rolls his eyes, “Oka-y. Hit me then.” 

He does; with a tiny little envelope no bigger than a gift card. Zack frowns, confused. Every year they say no gifts but Angeal always goes behind Zack’s back with a shrug and fondly ruffles his hair. ‘You deserve good things, pup.’ He usually tells him. Thankfully he seems to be restraining himself with Cloud visiting. 

“What’s this?” 

“Just something small.”

Cloud watches with interest, pausing his gathering of food onto his plate to look at Zack with sharp eyes. Actually, Zack can feel the heavy stare of three sets of eyes on him. His brow twitches as he rips open the top and pulls out…

“No way,” Zack whispers with awe. 

Staring up at him in black and white is an oldish photo of him. Tucked in the corner, small and shitty of a temporary driver's license. 

The kind that is only meant to hold until a new one comes in the mail.

“No...way!” Zack shouts this time. Giddiness bursting in his stomach so strongly he’s a bit nauseated if he doesn’t let it out. Leaping out of his chair to lean across the table and tug Angeal into a strong arm hold-awkwardly angled hug, Zack can’t help the over excited bubble of laughter. 

His drivers license, he’s not supposed to get it back for another two months. Fuck-he’s so happy it’s nearly exlopding out of him. He knows it’s showing intensely on his face. His cheeks hurt with his wide smile. Angeal huffs, but it sounds amused rather than annoyed. Taps his arm to get Zack to let go. 

“Managed to get you off the hook early with this too. Just kept it a secret for a while. Figured you could use a nice happy shock.”

Zack laughs again, bouncing back into his chair and knocking his elbow along Cloud’s arm. Who is curiously leaning into Zack’s space to look at what he’s pulled out of the tiny envelope. 

“Driver’s license?” He mutters after a long minute of staring at it. Zack briefly wonders if his episode a few days ago is still keeping his memory slow. 

“Yeah oh man, fuck-Angeal, thank you so much. This is actually the best.”

Really it is. He can’t believe it. All his freedom finally back. Which means too, finally, _finally_ , he can drive his-

“Oh man, Cloud, Cloudy-Cloud! My Wrangler, oh man I can’t wait to show you her.”

Cloud snorts. Pulls back to look at him with surprised eyes.

“Wrangler? I didn’t know you had a car,” Cloud says. Zack can tell he’s feeling thrown off by the sudden onslaught of happiness and excitement. He’s trying to tone it back down but-

His _Wrangler_. 

“Yeah, shit. I can’t wait to take her on the road again.” 

Sephiroth snorts, hides his pleased smile with a fork full of hashbrowns, “Might want to take it in first. That hunk of junk has been sitting for how long in your parking lot?”

Hey, he changed the oil. Once...and maybe he started her up a few weeks ago just to make sure she hadn’t died on him.

“I-”

“-I’ll look at it.” Cloud’s voice is soft and he deteremindly only keeps his eyes on Zack’s forearm resting on the table. 

“Well, don’t let Zack make you do too much work,” Angeal says. Sparks a stutter from him because-again- _hey_ -Cloud’s volunteering. Plus, it can’t possibly be that much work anyway. 

***

Okay. It’s- _shit_ \- it’s a lot more work then Zack thought. 

It’s just the start of the winter season but the first sunny skies pulls Cloud outside (wrapped up in Zack’s hoodie _and_ his bomber jacket-little clothes stealer) to the tiny parking lot behind Zack’s apartment building. Trailing behind him with too much excitement bouncing in his stomach, Zack unlocks the doors to his two-door Wrangler for the first time in weeks. 

Cloud eyes him, snapping the latches on either side of the hood and shoving it up with a grunt.

“Wanna start it for me?” 

Zack grins, pulling himself up the slight added height from lifting his Jeep. He never did get around to getting step-ups though...he might want to for Cloud. Though, that massive truck Tifa drives isn’t a problem for him. Actually...Zack clears his throat-he should probably not be thinking about the arch in Cloud’s body when he has to yank himself up into the truck. Or the flexing in his arms. 

Or the little grunt he always lets out-sliding smoothly-

“Any day Zack,” Cloud says-annoyance dripping in his voice. 

The startup is fine but the engine sounds clunkier than Zack remembers and Cloud’s stepping up onto the front bumper. Putting his whole body into the open hood. Pokes around a bit and huffs loudly. 

“Okay-after I fix this, I’m teaching you basic car care.”

Slipping out the front seat to come around and lean against the front tire was a mistake. Even bundled up in thick warm clothes, Cloud’s looking too pretty in the soft morning light. Getting his hands all greased up already-on Zack’s car-he barely picks up on Cloud rambling away under his breath.

“-and the timer belt is shot, oil, gotta check th-Zack,” Cloud slaps the side of the Jeep to get his attention, “what did you do to this thing?”

“Wha-nothing! It’s just been sitting here.”

“And.”

“...and maybe the last time I took her out I went muddin’ with Biggs and Wedge.”

It’s made for it, it’s a Wrangler. Zack maybe got overzealous and they took trails a bit too roughed up for the time of year. The whole losing his license happened right after and he’d been so mopey he kinda just let everything get lost in his wake. Now that he thinks on it, he does remember getting lectured by a mechanic for his rough treatment. The reason he didn’t get it fixed though escapes him. 

“Okay, turn it off. There’s a few things I can see right away, but I still wanna take it apart and see what else there is.”

If Zack wasn’t completely enthralled with Cloud he’d have a near panic-attack hearing ‘take apart’ in reference to his car. 

“Can I still take her out for a spin?”

“No.”

Zack pouts, way too hard, plays it up for some sympathy. Which he’s not really getting, not from the look Cloud is sending him with his brows and his frown. 

“But-I just got my lis-”

“-No, Zack,” Cloud reaches up, the jacket and hoodie riding up on his skin. Distracting Zack, “look. There’s some parts I can get easily and I can do the oil change in no time. I’ll work on it this weekend-if the weather is nice.”

“After my game?”

Cloud makes a soft noise that softens all his features. Rises on the pads of his shoes to take a small kiss from Zack’s lips, hand grabbing at his arm for balance.

“Yeah, after your game.”

The first one of the season. Starts a bit earlier this year and Zack can’t wait to blow off some steam. He’s been only half awake at their pre-season practices and Zack can’t find it in him to go hard when he’s exhausted from his thesis and his final classes to fight. The holiday break was a nice distraction. Spent nearly all of it pressed against Cloud in some way.

And meeting Angeal and Seph had gone way smoother than Zack had thought. Shit, at the end there he was practically fighting Sephiroth for Cloud’s attention. He never would have guessed-especially after all the bitching Cloud did about Sephiroth’s teaching style last year- they get along so well. 

He can’t be too jealous though. Cloud seems determined to impress Sephiroth. He’s been keeping up with the cooking since break has ended. Finding the little time they have between classes and studying to text back and forth with Sephiroth and stubbornly frown at Zack’s hardly used stove. 

The good food is a plus and Zack can’t help but feel a strong surge of affection for Cloud. Every time, he’s noticed, it’s been something Zack loves. Something he mentioned he was craving the prior week. 

So sweet, how Cloud is so set in his quiet ways to show Zack he loves him. 

He watches Cloud lean all the way in the front seat to turn the Wrangler off. The hoodie and jacket pulling even more, getting caught on the seat. In the chill of winter, Cloud’s skin pinks easily and Zack just wants to settle behind him and get his hands burning in the warmth trapped between skin and clothing. 

He doesn’t cause it’s mid-morning and they are standing out in the _very_ public parking lot. 

Not even when they go back inside-too much work, unfortunately. At least Cloud lets him pull him down between his legs while they study. His soft hums of concentration and little sighs of wanting-to-be-done-help Zack keep focus. The warmth of his body as he uses Zack’s bent leg as a pillow, arms crossed to soften his knee as he waits for Zack to finish skimming his books. 

Even if he’d rather be putting bruises in Cloud’s pale skin, pressing inside him, getting his lips soft and wet. It’s just a state of being Zack’s come to expect-being with Cloud-a never-ending level of low arousal buzzing in him. One he’s happy to suffer through with rewards like the small pulling at Cloud’s lips when he leans back into Zack’s chest to check on him.

***

It’s an early one. The first game of the season. Right on the low lying field that traps all the wintery fog against the grass. The sun peeking through tightly grown fur trees and naked maples. 

Makes for a different feel than their evening games. More raw and awake and the soft light of winter adds a surreal tingling in the back of Zack’s neck. 

Cloud be the sweat too. It’s the last quarter in and they are still hovering at a tie. The other team is rough, going for hard defense and aggressive offense. The front liner's shoulder bumping him a bit too strong every time. The same fucking shoulder too. Zack knows there’s a hot, deep bruise forming there. 

It’s like this sometimes though. When the opposing team is just on the edge of too angry. Pick a few of the well-rounded players-the best players- to hassle. In this case, Zack and Biggs both are playing top of their game. Painted a target on their backs. 

This far in, it’s starting to exhaust him and Zack almost doesn’t care if they break the tie or not. The cold has sunken into the bones of his legs; contrasting with the overly heating sweat of his upper body, under his helmet. 

Something is off too about one of the players. He seems too familiar in his movements and his voice has an odd sing-songy tone to it that makes Zack remember cold blue eyes and sandy hair. 

Logically, he knows it’s not Roche. He’d pick him out in a crowded shopping center. He knows Roche. So much so, the similarities strike his focus and he keeps missing easy plays that will take the win for them. It’s mainly the cocky little laugh the guy does. 

Zack eyes him as they reconfigure around the field- the whistle blowing to start the play. He glances to his left among the shouting crowd and spots Cloud nestled in with Tifa and Jessie jumping and shouting on either side of him. Aerith perched behind with a wind grin and she ruffles Cloud’s hair. A show of affection he doesn’t react to, his eyes bore into Zack’s with a deep focus. Tracks his movements and Zack grins even though Cloud can’t see it under his helmet. 

Alright, maybe he does care if they win. It’s stupid and very teen-ish of him, but he likes showing off for him. Likes to win the big plays and smother the other team for Cloud. Even though he still has no idea what any calls mean in Lacrosse or what a penalty is. In fact, Zack’s pretty sure Cloud zones out now when he rambles on about it. 

Doesn't matter. He’s still sitting there in the cold, getting knocked around by the girls. All for Zack. 

“Okay buddy, let’s actually manage a point this time. Getting too close to the end,” Biggs says as he passes him. Takes his spot at his side and the whistle blows again. 

It’s a newly invigorating encouragement. Enough for Zack’s burst of energy to narrow down his paths. Gives him focus to weave in and out of players, toss the ball between their netted sticks and slip around anybody who tries to knock him away. They manage to get around most of the offense and Zack’s clicking his tongue loudly at Biggs over the noise. Raises his stick up just a tad in an ‘over here’ gesture.

A quick step and a body twist-the weight of the ball falls gracefully into his net. Just the space between him and the goalie and Zack’s got no issue faking out a goalie. A one quick step to the left and an easy toss. He knows it sails into the goal. Hears the sudden louder roar of the crowd and he turns to make eye contact with Cloud.

Only a blistering pain erupts across his face and his body tenses all in seconds before a brick wall slams into him and he’s colliding down onto the cold damp grass and the smell of dirt and blood and sweat fills his senses. 

Yeah-that dumb little cocky laugh too. He hears it. Too much like Roche. Zack hates it. It only intensifies the taste of copper in his mouth. Hot breath that isn’t his along his skin and then the cold envelopes him as the guy bothers to move off of him. 

Zack winces on the way up. His head swimming and throbbing and he only realizes as he goes to touch his lip that his helmet has been knocked off. 

“Zack!” that’ll be Biggs. Sees cleat spiked shoes of more than just one of his teammates and someone is keeping a gentle touch on his back as he sits up. 

“You okay, bro?” Wedge asks him, his voice still feels far off though and the thudding is even louder in his head. 

“Mhmfine,” he mumbles out; winces again. He can taste the blood even more now and his lip pulls when he talks. 

Half his team is huddled around him and a hush in the crowd is loud in the silence. Thudding on the grass gets closer and closer and Zack knows it’s Cloud before he can squeeze in through the bodies around him.

“Zack! Holy shit, Zack.” Huh, more panicked sounding than during an amnesia episode. Somehow that’s sweet in a weirdly fucked up way. 

Still.

“Imma-fine,” Zack slurs again. But navy blue is filling his vision and warm hands are cupping his face. Gentle; they skim around what must be a few cuts. Cloud’s eyes lean in close. Narrowed in anger and contrasting with worry. 

“Cloud,” Biggs is saying over their heads, “come on, you can look at him in a second. Help me get him to the bench.”

“Wha,” Zack says. Stumbling as both Biggs and Cloud yank him upwards, his arms going over their shoulders, “guys-shfine.” 

Okay, his slurring is bad. But the pounding in his head has dimensioned a bit. Kinda went to his lip and the side of his cheek but whatever. At least his eyes aren’t seeing two anymore. 

The metal of the bench is freezing and soaks through his uniform. Makes him shiver that contracts his aching muscles and he winces again. 

“Shit, that guy fucking railed you.” 

“Hey-nnha-Idon’tlet anyone but ‘Loud rail me,” great he’s still mumbling. Why can’t he talk right?

Wait wait, he was talking about getting railed by Cloud. Yeah, he’s okay with that. 

“ _Oh my god_ , I didn’t wanna know that.”

Biggs is still here? Zack pouts and whines, he thought it was just him and Cloud. So all the railing could commence. 

“Okay, okay. Here, Zack, here. Can you look at me?” Cloud’s blocking most of his view again. Sweet. Zack loves looking at Cloud. He looks good, flushed from the cold and he’s all bundled in Zack’s hoodie. 

Makes him feel like his. Even though Zack’s fully aware he shouldn’t feel possession over Cloud. But...god he still can’t believe Zack gets to have him. He smiles up at him, knows it comes out a bit dopey, and reaches out to pull Cloud into the space between his knees. 

“Hi,” Still kinda thick tongued. Wasn’t he playing a Lacrosse game?

“Zack, yeah hi, look. Watch my fingers. How many?”

Two. “Two.” Two perfect fingers that could be doing something else right now. 

Mmm, _railing._

“Concussion?” Biggs again. How come he’s showing up so much? It’s supposed to be just Zack and Cloud right now.

“I dunno know. He’s tracking okay. Shit, his nose won’t stop bleeding.”’

His nose? He thought it’s his lips that’s cut up. 

“Here, get him home, short-stuff. Games only got a few minutes left anyway.”

A towel is shoved in his face and then he’s being dragged back to his feet. It’s Cloud though, so he’s not mad. Leans down on his sturdy body to sigh at the pressure of his arm around his waist. 

Cloud’s been working out more. Gaining some of that arm muscle back he mentioned he had before the accident. If only he wasn’t so shy about it. Slinks off to the gym on campus alone. Zack wants to work out with him, he could help him get so ripped. Probably at a quicker pace too. It'll be nice anyway. Zack misses a workout buddy. It used to be Kunsel and-

Nah. He really shouldn’t. He’d gotten good at keeping his mind off the past. Kunsel is never in his future again so what's the point in remembering? 

“Easy Zack. Sit. I’ll be right back.” 

Woah. He’s back home. Wait. No he’s been home-no. 

Zack sighs. Shoulders heavy with something...he’s not sure. Why is he not playing the game again? They’ve gotta break the tie.

Oh.

Cloud’s back.

“Hi, Cloud.”

“Yeah, hi. Here, tilt back,” Cloud’s muttering too seriously. Lifts Zack’s chin very gently and daps a warm wet towel to his bottom lip, “what day is it?”

Oh. Concussion game. Okay. It’s probably valid. That Roche-clone really did knock the wind from him. Zack blinks, focuses, and unfocuses on the dark ceiling and the tuffs of Cloud’s hair. 

He’s fine. He’s pretty sure. A little pain-loopy and he doesn't really remember stumbling the whole way to his apartment but now that he is sitting down on the soft mattress of his bed and Cloud is tenderly dabbing at the drying blood on his face, everything is a bit clearer.

“It’s Saturday.”

“Okay, what time was your game at?”

“8.”

“What’s the a-”

“-Cloud.” Zack sees the worry still swimming in his blue eyes. But really. He is fine. It’s more the pain than anything. He didn’t get knocked too hard in the head. It’s mostly in his ribs actually and his back now that he’s had time to get over the shock of being suddenly knocked to the ground, “I’m not concussed. Here,” Zack takes the wet cloth from Cloud and tugs him closer by the hoodie, “hold this here so my nose stops bleeding yeah?” 

Cloud does. Rests his hand against the top of Zack’s and puts a tiny amount of pressure with the cloth until Zack lets him take over again. 

It’s rather intimate. Staring so closely at each other, watching Cloud’s eyes track his own. He can hear every deep breath and every unsure swallow in Cloud’s throat. Even the tiny parting of his lips as he focuses on wiping blood off Zack’s face is more distracting than usual. The small details of the lines curving in and the point at his cupid's bow. 

Zack watches his pupils dilate and he swears it's the same pulsing pace of his heart contracting in his chest. 

“Feels better, thanks short-stuff,” Zack whispers. Can’t manage louder, it might shatter the intensity burning in Cloud’s eyes. 

Cloud must be reading his mind, only-

Zack’s gets short-circuited with a hard kiss pressing suddenly against his mouth. It stings the cut on his lip and Cloud grips his sides hard. Yeah, those bruises are starting to make themselves known. He hisses into their kiss.

“S-Sorry,” Cloud gasps against him. That intensity in his eyes isn’t going away though.

“S’okay. Come on, I’m fine. I promise. I can take hard hits.”

Cloud’s nose scrunches and he places a much sweeter, tender kiss to Zack’s brow. Grazes his lips down his nose to his darkening cheek. A soft one there too. Right in the middle of the bruise. He lingers at his skin, tickling with his soft lips. The scar-again, it’s always the scar Cloud goes for- the indent right next to his nose and then his lips. Lovingly sucks on the throbbing cut and swiping his tongue slow, hot, and wet in heavy strokes. 

Breathes heavily into Zack’s mouth, “You had me worried for a sec.”

Silly. Just a little knock to the ground and Cloud’s worry explodes right out of him. To mean that much to him.

Zack’s so lucky. 

He hauls Cloud closer, spreading his legs more so he can fit better against the bed. Goes in for another kiss and moans loudly. His need rushing up to him and the pain in his body fading to the growing lust.

“Hold on-lemme,” Cloud breaks away from him. Moves back and hushes as Zack whines low at the loss of warmth, “just let me get the lube, Zack.”

So stern. He smirks and goes to take off his uniform padding.

Oh...that is also not on him anymore. Yeah, at the door. Cloud had peeled that off at the door. His damn jersey too. The heat must be up for Zack to not notice the cold seeping into his bare skin. He’s not going to dread, who cares how he got nearly naked when Cloud’s back in his view. More skin on display and popping open one of the many bottles of lube around.

“Scoot back,” Cloud says roughly, voice thick and low, “spread.” He even smacks his thigh a bit and the look in his eyes darkens even more.

Zack hardens instantly, hardly keeps in his moan as Cloud drops to his knees and unbuttons his uniform pants. Slides them down his legs and tosses them to the side. He doesn’t wait, going in with his mouth and his fingers lubed up. 

Zack hisses at the intrusion. Cloud pushing two in right away, curling them up and rubbing with the flat of his knuckles inside Zack. Takes him in his mouth and sucks hard. Hollowing out his cheeks as he stares up at Zack with his large, rough, pretty blues. 

The sight takes away the rest of Zack’s aches from the game. Completely removes the hidden thoughts of Roche and anything else lurking there from his past. 

Just the wet tightness of Cloud’s mouth swallowing around him and pulling up slowly. Swirls his tongue over the head of Zack’s cock and pumps his fingers inside him with a slightly faster speed. It’s a lot all at once and pushes Zack into a state he normally takes some time to fall into.

It’s Cloud though. Every time Cloud gets the set in his shoulders and that ‘I wanna take care of you’ look on his face-every time it’s more intense and Zack craves it.

“Oh-yeah, shit. That’s good babe. Some more, yeah? Swallow me more.” He knows he babbles, it’s worse when he’s the one inside Cloud. 

Cloud does his request.Takes him down with the next pump of his fingers, salvia pooling from his mouth and dripping down Zack’s balls- _fuck_. It should not be that hot, but it is. It so is and Zack’s not bothering keeping his moans in anymore.

He falls back onto his elbows, hips twitching up into Cloud’s mouth, thighs widening some more so those delicate fingers in him can get deep and spread.

“A little harder, com-ahh-nngh.”

A little harder-no, Cloud goes full rough mode. Slips in a third finger and spreads them wide inside Zack with a bruising pace. He’s no longer watching Zack’s reactions, head angled down so he can slip his lips down around Zack’s cock faster. Head bobbing with focus.

The pressure is building fast and Zack can’t get that look-darker blue-from Cloud’s eyes. Everything else is fading into a haze so thick Zack’s a little nervous. So quickly and deeply he’s fallen. His body overwhelmed-when did Cloud get so fucking good. 

Shit-he’s going to come soon.

“In me, babe-I gotta have you in me,” before he does. 

_He needs it._

Cloud pulls off with an obscene noise sucking around Zack’s cock. Withdraws his fingers and wipes at the salvia on his own chin. Shucks his own ripped denim off and lifts one of Zack’s legs up, hooks it over his shoulder for more room.

The head of Cloud’s cock is heavy and hot at his entrance. Zack’s desperate enough for it he whines, body falling down completely onto the bed and lifting his hips in acceptance. He doesn’t know what Cloud is fucking waiting for-he’s stretched damn near enough and this is not cool- he just-

Oh-fuck. 

_Fuck_.

A deep loud whimper rips from his throat as Cloud presses in. Slides in slick and deep and how-how is this new to Zack. 

Cloud’s fucked him before and it’s been amazing yeah, but this...

Zack’s never-he never- _fuck._ The moan he lets out hasn’t left his throat in years. His thighs are fucking shaking and he just needs...more.

“C-Cloud, fuck, please babe, _please_.”

God. The fucking begging, he hasn’t begged ever. The pressure and the slow drag of Cloud’s cock in him is just so-so _right_. Sends tight sensations he’s never felt before. Building low in his stomach fast-Zack doesn’t want this to be over so quickly. Not with Cloud grasping the back of his neck, thumbing along the pressure point below his ear. Using his grip to pull leverage on Zack and dig his cock deeper inside him. 

Stares at him with those deep baby blues of his. So dark and needy, biting into his lip and fluttering his lashes at every slow drag. 

“Zack, feel good?”

Of course, fuck, _of course_ it feels good. Cloud’s gotten better every time. His hips rolling in deep waves to push inside him. Makes him shake hard every time. He’s never felt like this-felt the way Cloud does-falls apart every time. 

“Mmhmm-yes, fuck. _Yeah_.”

A stuttering of his movements and Cloud shifts them back against the pillows, taking Zack’s legs with him and caressing his hips. Draws a vulnerability Zack hasn’t given anyone in...maybe ever. Not even Aerith. 

“You’re,” Cloud pauses for just a beat, moaning low against Zack’s ear and stills for a moment inside him, “you’re so tight. Zack, y-you’re amazing.” 

The loving tone wrapping around him feels different. Cloud sounds (amongst all his stumbling) proud of him. Sounds so appreciative and commending. Zack’s aching cock twitches; tightens all around Cloud. 

So much so, Cloud pulls back with shaking arms next to Zack’s head. Looks into his eyes with a wide curious expression. A gentle brush of knuckles across the scar on his cheek makes Zack long for...something. He’s so dizzy with lust and trembling with the rocking of Cloud’s cock against his prostate he can’t quite place it. Doesn’t know exactly what it is. 

All the curiosity disappears with a dark lust and understanding. Cloud leans in to rest his forehead against Zack’s and re-grips his neck strongly.

“You’re doing good for me, Zack.”

Oh.

Oh fuck. The shiver of need is a massive wave throughout his body. Knows Cloud feels it as he tightens around him again. Can probably see it too, Zack can’t really hide anything right now. As reserved as Cloud can be, he picks up on things Zack never even knew about. Especially about himself. 

“Zack,” the low groan surrounding his name, it’s almost as good as the drag of Cloud’s cock in him, “You’re good, taking care of me-always know what I need.” 

“A-ah, f-fuck Cloud.” 

He kisses him slowly, licking in past his lips and consuming him as his fingers dig into the back of his neck. 

“Good Zack, just like that yes. You’re so fucking amazing. There’s no one better than you.”

It’s too much. Shit, he can’t handle this. Not Cloud pressing their foreheads so tightly together, trying to climb inside him even more. The confidence that only seems to stay with Cloud in Nibelheim, it’s staring right at him brightly. Mingles with his words. His praise and Zack…

_Fuck._

“Ah-ah, Cloud, _please_ -Cloud,” he sobs. He knows he is with the break in his voice and he doesn’t care. He’s so close and the warmth in Cloud’s voice- he can’t hang on any longer. Not with the pace Cloud is setting. Ramming into him and being so fucking sweet.

“S’good boy, Zack.”

“Oh, _Fuck_!” he twitches violently and arches so much his back pops. Comes hard and fast and he has to grip anywhere on Cloud just to stay grounded. Euphoria ripping through him, buzzing, and settling with Cloud’s words echoing in his head. 

Body strained and sensitive Zack collapses back down with loose limbs. Cloud’s falling forward to whimper deeply against his shoulder as his thrusts become shallower and more desperate. He comes inside Zack with shoulders shaking just as much they normally do. Continues quiet whimpers through their gasping. 

Zack’s pulled to wrap Cloud in his arms and hold him close through his numbing afterglow, but his limbs don’t seem to work for anything other than trembling. 

Never...he’s never come like that before. A small embarrassed flush heats his face. Shit...he’s usually the one sprouting out encouragement and compliments. Drowning Cloud in admiration. He never wants Cloud to feel unwanted. Especially after the sting of their disagreement at the beginning of the year. 

It’s just... _fuck_. Zack gasps down a watery sound that doesn’t bring in enough air. He’s never- that thought just keeps looping in his mind. Mingles with the warmth all throughout his body. He feels so...complete and vulnerable. Lost in such an intense orgasm; comforted even. 

It’s a falling spiral collapsing with everything in his past. Down into a hard, sharp point that rips through his chest. 

He’s tried harder than he ever has, worked towards leaving behind people he misses more than the promise of his parents. To have it all rush through him in a single thought. A single want. A need to be...good enough. 

Just good. 

“Fuck.”

Cloud stirs. His sweaty skin slipping against Zack as he weakly pushes himself up to look down into Zack’s face. 

“Zack, I lov-” Cloud’s whisper tickles his jaw as he pushes back-A look of worry crosses Cloud’s face, giving away the wonder if Zack’s emotions are fluttering across his own. The wetness in his eyes doesn’t trickle down but he has to blink to contain them.

“Shit, Zack, sorry- I-did I say something wrong-” his look of worry intensifies, “wait-did I hu-”

“Woah, slow down short-stuff. You just _really_ short-circuited my brain.”

The warmth and the pang of Cloud wavering in his confidence contrasts harshly. Knocks Zack out from his haze a bit more. Enough for his shaking to ease into movement. Wraps his arms around Cloud’s narrow waist and traces the bone-bumps in his spine. 

“Okay?” Cloud sinks into him, hesitant relief coming over him, and bites into the corner of his lip as he thumbs at the corner of Zack’s right eye. 

He doesn’t know why, but his laughter bubbles out of him too quickly and he has to make it up to Cloud with a soft tug on his long locks to the right side of his face.

“Yeah,” Zack says through his chuckle, “Fuck babe. I’ve never come so hard in my life.”

An amused snort shakes Cloud’s shoulders and all the worry leaves behind a spark of satisfaction. Cloud lightly touches the cut on Zack’s lip, stares at the bruises blossoming on his cheek. 

“I’ll look at your Jeep a little later? I wanna stay here and keep an eye on you.”

Right right, not that fucking him until he’s near crying is really good for a concussion. Which he doesn’t have…

“Hey...you um…” okay, he’s definitely off though. Shit- look at them switching traits. Zack feels the burn of a shy blush on his cheeks again. He resists growling at himself and tugs at Cloud’s locks again to gain traction over his ridiculous, random subconsciousness, “-you think you could do that again for me?”

“Mm? Uh...the, the praise?” Cloud stammers out and oh-god. Just-they are both staring at each other with flushed weird faces and Zack can’t believe this is what's getting him all shy and awkward. He’s fucking shoved toys inside Cloud so many times without a damn blink. But n-o, asking for the compliments is _too_ much.

For him. Not even for Cloud. 

He laughs. Presses their faces together; slides his hands to Cloud’s sides again. 

“Yeah,” He says. Laughter always helps him right his mindset. He’s going to blame the unusual shyness on the fucking-amazing-blissed afterglow, “Gotta be honest I-no one’s done that for me before. Your voice sounds so sweet though...Yeah I want that again.”

Not today, maybe when he’s less of a jelly-human, he’ll tell Cloud how much it means to him. 

Cloud’s face pulls oddly for a split second, something of a sad mix of confusion and dismay. 

“I will,” So serious, “I love you...thank you-you know-for putting up with me.”

Back to that. Zack wonders when he’ll be able to stamp it out of Cloud completely. He ignores it, sensing it’s more of a rambling thought than serious self-consciousness. Shimmies his whole body to rock Cloud outta his thoughts.

“You kidding, after you just tended my wounds and fucked me like that? I’m never letting you go.”

“ _Tend your wounds_ , Zack-ugh-”

Zack laughs again. He can’t stop touching Cloud all over. Grabs his face to pepper too many little kisses all over until Cloud is huffing at him and shoves him away. It just results in Cloud toppling down off Zack’s body-an even better spot for Zack to roll. Straddle Cloud and get his fingers digging into the ticklish spots just under his ribs. That promise of his Jeep being road ready by Monday lingers in his mind but right now he wants to stay here too.

Cloud’s breathless laughter is worth all the desperate kicks and flailing limb smacks. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .........I promise the small amount of drama comes up next. XD 
> 
> Thanks for reading ~ 
> 
> See ya next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, see now, didn't I say there was a lot of banging....It's just gonna be more next chapter. I'm sorry you guys, but also like, not sorry cause this is so fun to write. :) 
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> See you in the Fall! (Even tho it's actually summmer, I'll cave guys. I love writing this AU)


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